The Simpsons Springfield Tales Season 2 (Discontinued)
by Shoz999
Summary: A Working Class Dysfunctional Family where they encounter various situations in adventures ending with a lesson to be told in the misfit city of Springfield. What Tale Awaits For Our Favorite Family, The Simpsons? The Sequel to the First Springfield Tales.
1. Introduction

**INTRODUCTION**

**STORY-GUIDE (INCLUDING FIRST APPEARANCE OF CLASSIC OR UNFAMILIAR CHARACTERS AND LOCATIONS) AND FAN-MADE CHARACTER GUIDE BELOW  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>(READ THIS! THE CHARACTERS ARE AN YEAR OLDER, AND I SOMETIMES DO TAKE REQUEST)<strong>

**Introduction  
><strong>

An introduction to the sequel of Simpsons Springfield Tales, the largest Simpsons fan-fiction known for it's TV Concept Idea and having a variety of stories. The introduction was created on Dec. 25th. It has been since than Re-Updated on Mar. 1st.

I had much fun doing the first Springfield Tales but also learned some mistakes and errors... In fact, I've notice it gone Positive to Mixed when it soon got heavy-unusual story material. I want Season 2 to feel like a real sequel to the first Springfield Tales, an improvement is more like it.

* * *

><p><strong>STORY GUIDE (INCLUDES FIRST APPEARANCE OF CHARACTERS AND LOCATIONS (ONLY CLASSIC AND UNFAMILIAR ONES, THIS MEANS SPOILERS AS WELL!))<strong>

**A Simpson's Christmas Tale -** 30 Years In The Future, Bart's, Lisa's, and Maggie's Children will hear a tale long ago from a certain stranger that certain dusty objects mean more importance than they look. _(Re-Introduce Bart's Two Children, Zia, Maggie Jr., The Pawn-Shop)_

**Job Fair -** Skinner plans every student to get a job so they can have some experience to their life, things don't go well, and Ralph Wiggum gets a surprisingly unexpected role in the government... _(Re-Introduces Skinner, The School Faculty, Springfield Elementary, Springfield Community Center, Try-N-Save Mart, Mentioning of KBBL Radio Station)_

**Lisa Vs. McCarthyism -** Fears of Communism gets Springfield to become too secured after an explosive prank, even suspicions of friends and neighbors of being Communists are taken seriously. Lisa intends to fight McCarthyism. _(Re-Introduces The Mayor's Office)_

**Reign Of The Mega-Kwik-E-Mart -** Homer gets him a Monster Truck and goes over to the Kwik-E-Mart just to find out it's become a Super Market. Apu protests against it after he just got fired. Now the Mega-Kwik-E-Mart is causing various problems to Springfield**. **_(Re-Introduces Truck-O-Saurus)_

**Krustofski Sitting In A Tree** - Krusty The Klown is in trouble with the Mafia, recently got divorced again, and yet Ms. Pennycandy, his secretary, is always sticking by his side. But why? Is it love, if it is... what is it to become? _(Re-Introduces Ms. Pennycandy, Fat Tony, Googolplex Theaters, Krustylu Studios, Wall. E. Weasel's, and The Springfield Train-Station)_

**New Treehouse Of Horror** **IV** - New Treehouse of Horror IV introduces THREE NON-CANON ORIGINAL TALES, each more laughable than before. Read as Milhouse befriends the Ghost of Hemingway, Homer is a shapeshifter of some sort, and mysterious killings are occuring out of nowhere where Moe could be involved._ (Re-Introduces Squid-Port, Costington's Department Store_)

**Out Of Buiz **- Laura returns just as Noisyland Arcade is about to go bankrupt, but Bart helps out in bringing it back to it's feet. (_Re-Introduces Laura Powers, Ruth Powers, Noisyland Arcade, Springfield High School)_

* * *

><p><strong><span>Fan-Made Characters Returning From Season 1<span>  
><strong>

Ian The Hippie-Freak - At times he's a hippie, at other times he's a freak. He doesn't really know, but he is known to be lovable around the kids even if he goes crazy, smokes at times, be one with nature or occasionally have a black-arms deal. See what I mean by not always being a hippie?

Mr. Nental - Gentle On The Outside, Mentally Crazy On The Inside. Apparently only the young know what kind of savage monster he is while adults see him as a kind role model. He's the kind to mess with your mind.

Handy - Kid With Sunglasses, Messy Hair, and his name is almost never mentioned. Loves to prank but has a real problem with authority figures, more than the bullies at school.

Ms. Flora - Art Teacher who's kind as a flower, and one of the teachers that actually encourages Bart

Ms. Kawson - Language Arts Teacher and One of The Many Distractions for the 5th Graders, especially the boys...

* * *

><p><strong>Differenc<strong>**es, What's Added, What's** **Gone**

The Simpsons Springfield Tales Season 2 is not one story but a variety of them that have a variety of ideas, topics, genres or parodies into several stories... but what's the differences between Season 1 and Season 2? For one thing, heavy unusual story material such as robots and zombie dogs being attached to the main plot will not occur anymore... unless of course it's Treehouse of Horror story. This means no more Zombie Cursing Dogs, possessive robots, just back to good old fashioned Simpson Story-Telling. You can call them stories if you want, but I've changed the name into episodes since they are still stories but have no relation to each other of course there will be a continuity meaning you will see the return of Mr. Nental or you may see Ms. Flora mentioning his brother again from Season 1. I've decided to take off the highlights because many people seem to understand the jokes. Also, there will be less parters around that will only be around two parts... I'm probably just thinking about One Parter or just none.

**Why I made the First Springfield Tales In The First Place**

I made it because I wanted something to feel like The Simpsons Series and I had several ideas for stories... so why not put them into one fanfiction rather taking too much time writing one fanfiction, one by one? Another reason is that when I read some of these fanfictions in The Simpsons category, they had emotion and drama but they usually have no humor. Also it does include Treehouse of Horror, extra scenes at the end, and couch gags. Also, if you don't like the first story (or chapter) than just skip it and read a different one. You don't have to read one of the chapters continously since it is it's own story

**Somethings that you need to know about this story...**

Besides being a multi-story fanfiction, all the characters are an year older but they still look the same, act the same, and are the same dysfunctional family. It's just an year older to bring up new story ideas, not to change alot of the Simpsons history and behavior... like most Simpson fan-fictions, I'm trying to improve it meaning you can give all the positive reviews, negative criticism, or just a neutral review if you want. Also, **I do take requests**.


	2. A Simpson's Christmas Tale

Couch Gag - Tracy Ulman Shorts Simpsons, 1989 Simpsons, and Digital Animated Simpsons all ran to the couch trying to get every inch of space.

Ep 50 - S02E01 Date - Dec. 25th 2011

**A Simpson's Christmas Tale**, Synopsis - Thirty Years In The Future, a Tale of A Simpson's Christmas will be told of the importance of some old dusty things have a bigger meaning more than it looks.

* * *

><p>Thirty Years In The Future, a home standing on Evergreen Terrace during a beautiful morning of Dec. 25th where streets are covered in snow and the snow covers the hobos. It's Christmas Morning-!- and Forty-Year Old Bart, Thirty-Eight Year Old Lisa and Thirty-One Year Old Maggie were happy that Christmas was finally here in their living room... so was their children and parents standing before the gifts they saw.<p>

"What did I get? What did I get?" Bart's Eldest Child shredded his present.

"I want to see mine's first! Mine's!" Bart's Youngest Child grabbed his present, small and round it was.

These two were Bart's children of course... smart and intelligent... but that was due to Bart's divorced wife Jenda apparently who married her new boyfriend...

"Yep. We could only get you one each so don't be greedy. Okay?" Lisa smiled at the youngsters.

Maggie, a parent, was about to talk until elderly Homer said, "Margret! Spit that gum out."

Angry, she walked out immediately carrying her infant daughter, Maggie Junior, to the kitchen.

"Let's just call Maggie, Margret, and Maggie Jr., Maggie. Much simpler. Anyway, kids, do you like your present?" Bart smiled.

"What the?" Both saw it was in there hands now, feeling disappointment in there eyes.

"Do you love it?" Marge, old with white hair but still kind, she asked.

The two kids held two objects, a snow globe and a padlock, old and dusty it was, it didn't looked much.

"What a rip-off!" They said.

"Oh... what's going on?" Zia, Lisa's teenage daughter, yawned wearing blue striped pajamas.

"Good. I got your present. I hope your grateful unlike them." Lisa angrily looked at Bart's two children who mumbled several times, crossing there arms tighter as an ox.

Zia opened the present hoping for something decent... only to find an really old bible in here.

"Uh... Mom... I already have a bible. Why do I need another one?" Zia was disappointed with her gift.

"These are family generation to generation gifts! There really great!" Homer argued. "We even planted that tree over there for your parents when they were little. A tree for the whole family."

The children looked through the living room window seeing a tree at the front lawn decorated in ornaments and lights, more than the plastic tree they had inside the house. The kids only thought, "Not convinced".

"Uh-huh... you're going to do better than that." Bart's Older Child spoke.

* * *

><p>Sometime later, the four kids were all pushed out of the house and into Evergreen Terrace, wearing blue and purple jackets and long black and green snow pants.<p>

"Don't come back until you feel sorry!" Marge slammed the door.

Feeling a bit ashamed, one of the young-ling's had an idea.

"We could apologize to them." The Youngest Child of Bart spoke.

They looked at each other and for a moment, they burst into laughter thinking that will never happened. After that moment, they stopped laughing and suddenly smiled a bit.

"Well... let's go see whatever happening, Bart Jr. and Bartholomew." Zia spoke, holding Maggie Jr. in her arms.

"My name isn't Bart Jr." The Young One Spoke.

"And my name isn't Bartholomew. Besides, aren't they basically the same name?" The Older One Spoke.

"Might as well call you that since I don't know your real names, Bartholomew and Bart Jr." Zia said.

"Our names are..." , but before Bart's kids could finish that sentence... Zia interrupted, "Where's Maggie? The baby..."

They suddenly heard the sound of searing flames, then they looked where it was coming from seeing Maggie smiling and clapping as she held a lighter near an burning tree, the one tree that was planted since there Parent's Childhood's.

"AHH!" Homer was shocked, spotting the burnt tree through the living room's window.

Marge, Lisa, Bart, and Margret also came by, gasping in horror seeing that the tree in their childhood incinerated.

"THOSE BRATS! THAT BELONGED TO THE FAMILY!" Homer yelled furiously.

"Got to go!" Bartholomew spoke.

Trouble got bigger and Zia grabbed Maggie quickly along with Bartholomew and Bart Jr., running off to somewhere else where their parents wouldn't look for.

* * *

><p>The four, at downtown Springfield, the beat up place in the town... tired of running, they stopped to catch there breath.<p>

"What are we going to do? We burn down the tree!" Bartholomew worried as ever as he looked at the snow globe he held.

"Eh... so what?" Zia not worried one bit.

"You resemble a lot like your mother you know." A Voice came close by, but wasn't hard to find.

The four saw an elderly man wearing a long black coat and a large hat, he looked gentle but he was still pretty much a stranger to them.

"And who are you?" Bart Jr. asked.

"I'm a friend of your parents." The Stranger answered.

"Uh-huh... I may be rebellious but I do know not to listen to strangers." Zia spoke.

Before she could walk away... the man said, "Rebellious like Lisa Simpson?". She suddenly stopped for a moment as wondering how the stranger knew her mother's name.

"I know all your parents. Bart, coolest kid out of the siblings, Lisa, smart and rebellious when things looked bad for the environment and the animals, Maggie... you don't ever.. I say ever, want to get near her when she has a gun." The Mysterious Man spoke.

"How do you know all this?" Zia asked the mysterious man.

"I'm a long-time friend. They weren't 'boring' and they aren't still. They're pretty cool people... Those gifts you got mean more than you think."

"Tell us more..." Bart Jr. asked.

He halted them from speaking another word and said "Well...first, I just got one question..."

"Uh.. what?" Bart. Jr. asked.

"Do you... believe in _ghosts_?" He asked.

"No..." They were a little shaken suddenly, all but Zia who was bored already, when she could be at the computer instead of this old fool.

"Interesting... let me tell you A Simpson's Christmas Tale than..."

* * *

><p><strong>THIRTY YEARS AGO...<strong>

It's the day before Christmas and Marge entered the Television Room hoping her kids could help her, during a bright beautiful morning.

"Kids... can you help your mother cook some..."

"No thanks. Were watching the Itchy and Scratchy Christmas Marathon." Bart interrupted.

"Filled with the most Christmas Violence Ever in only two hours." Lisa spoke.

"Oh... okay then." Marge, depressed a bit that her children won't help on Christmas, stepping into the dining room until she saw her sisters confronting her, as if was expected.

"Let me guess. No one's helping you out during the time of the month?" Selma said.

"You need to get a man, Marge, or a woman." Patty spoke.

"I'm happily married with a happy family and don't ever suggest that again Patty." She groaned.

"Tell me? What's our dad and Homer's dad up to?" Selma asked.

"Gambling with their friends... sometimes I think that man needs a lesson..." Marge said.

"What do you mean?" Patty asked, wondering why she would say such a thing.

"You know... he never says anything like, "I'll be there" or "Thank you" or not even one "I love you" to any of us." She complained.

"Eh... what do you expect. He's not soft, unlike Homer. He's flabby and always ruining your families Christmas." Selma said.

"Well... this is going to be the best darn Christmas ever! I don't need daddy or your help! I just need my family and that's it. I'll even prove it."

"Uh-huh... you said you needed your family at eight years old before dad showed you a rabbit with its neck broken dead thinking it will make you braver."

"That rabbit still haunts me to this day..." Marge spoke in a depressing manner.

* * *

><p>Marge entered the living room and saw Homer polishing a new shotgun with an old rag of some sort, why would he even have that on Christmas?<p>

"Uh... Homer?" She asked, hoping this would work.

"Now now... Going Hunting." Homer replied.

"Don't you think you should spend time with the kids? It's the day before Christmas."

"Sure. Right after I hunt with my friends." Homer said.

Marge didn't say a word and instead turned around giving up already until she suddenly saw her sisters grinning at her failure. She angrily turned around towards Homer and yelled, "Homer! I think you need to plant a tree with your kids!"

"But... Huuunting!" Homer suddenly whined.

"Now!" Marge yelled.

"Errr... fine, I'll plant them a tree... a tree you won't ever forget!" Homer's sudden whining became angry mumbling.

"Whew... that was easy." Marge turned to her sisters, not happy at all.

"Meh, he'll ruin Christmas one way or another." Selma spoke.

* * *

><p>Homer, wearing his brown warm coat, mumbled angrily under his breath as Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie in their winter clothes, watched him angrily planting a nut in the dirt of his lawn.<p>

"There! Are you happy!" He yelled at his children.

They gulped, "Y..yes..".

"Homer. Watch your attitude!" Marge argued.

"Whatever Marge... I should be hunting but 'Nooo'. You had to be all like, 'plant the tree, Homer', 'Why don't you do something right, Homer?', 'Stop forming angry mobs, Homer'. I'm going to my friends where I can have some real fun! Drunk and shooting randomly in the air!" Homer went directly to his car in a fit of rage, as the family watched.

He entered his family sedan starting the engine, and flooring it out of the garage. They then saw him drove his car on the frosted chilled road to somewhere else wherever his friends were going to be... most likely Moe's, a Football Game, or probably hunting...

"Sometimes I don't know why I married him..." Marge grunted, watching his husband drove to his destination...

The children now saw Marge entering the house in anger too but before she could... She stopped for a moment and turned her head towards the children.

"Lisa. Watch your siblings will you? You are a good role model to Maggie you know." Marge spoke.

She than left but for some reason Bart smiled.

"Oh... what do we have here..." Bart spotted something only a few inches away.

"What?" Lisa asked.

"Look! Mom left her bag filled with gifts." Bart spotted the bag just laying there on the ground near the living room window outside.

"Huh... she must be real angry if she forgot to bring that in... I could have a little peak... but... I shouldn't." Lisa said.

"I don't know... it could be the..."

"... Malibu Stacy Automobile Deluxe Set!" Lisa bursted in joy all of a sudden.

"What the hell is a... I mean yes." Bart grinned.

"Wait a minute... I see where this is going... your just tricking me into trouble!" Lisa argued.

"What would make you think that? I would never do that to my little sister." Trying to smooth talk his way out.

"Of course you would! You done it several times!" Lisa argued.

"Fine... say all you want, but I'm going back to some old fashion TV." Bart leaving only Lisa and Maggie outside.

"Stupid Bart... thinking that I'll be the one stealing it." Lisa said.

Lisa was about to walk into the house too with her baby sister, Maggie, until she once again spotted the bag filled with gifts, one for each family member she knew...

"Oh... maybe just a little peak..." Lisa thought.

She decided to head to the bag instead of the door, wanting to know what she's getting for Christmas this year... lifting her hand towards the bag hoping for something decent, just in her reach... until someone held her thumb, stopping her taking a peek, the hand was small... Lisa saw who it was, Maggie Simpson feeling awfully sad for her... but why?

Lisa than remembered Marge's words, " _You are a good role model to Maggie you know..._"

"Oh... Maggie... What am I doing?" Lisa looked at her little sister, feeling that this was wrong.

Lisa took a step back from the bag feeling that was over... that was until she suddenly rushed to the bag instantly with her curiosity growing ever more, she couldn't take it more... she just had to know what she was getting but Maggie felt downhearted. Yet, Lisa continued to search through the bag, finding her name tag attached to a certain gift of some sort. She reached it out of the bag tearing the wrapping into pieces.

"I found it! It's.. It's... It's a bible?" Lisa looked at it, unlike some of her other bibles, this one was old an dusty as the Great Depression. "I already have one of those! What a cheap present this is!", irritated that her gift was an old dusty bible.

"I worked hard my whole life and I get this?" An Furious Lisa spoke, but she calmed down a bit thinking, "Maybe I can get a Malibu Stacy doll set myself? I have some cash... just need to find one..."

* * *

><p>Homer, furious as ever and smelled like a Brewery Factory, was in the woods with Barney, Moe, Lenny, Carl, and even Ian shooting his shotgun up in the air drunk trying to shoot down some birds in frustration as not even a single feather has landed the ground.<p>

"Homer, you do know that shotguns are mostly short-range. Try using a rifle instead." Lenny said.

"You look real angry. Were your best friends Homer. You can tell us anything." Barney wondered what's up with him.

Homer lowered his shotgun to the ground realizing that they were his best friends even if he was drinking, that he could tell them what happened at his house.

"Marge and Me got in a small argument after I said.. that I should be with my friends having a good old fashion hunt... I worked hard this time so why can't they just give me a break?" Homer angrily spoke.

"You know Homer... it is the day before Christmas. It's a time when you have to spend time with your family." Lenny said.

"What? You're on her side too!" Homer became surprised.

"Lenny's right you know. I mean, Marge wants Christmas to be a time where you and her can be a family with your kids... I mean, you barely spend any time with them." Ian spoke.

"Homer. Your wife is right. Christmas is about spending time with your loved ones, not going out hunting and killing animals. I mean it is fun for us but spending time with your family is much much better when it comes to jolly old Saint Nick... in a way I guess..." Carl said.

"Saint Nick? What does that guy ever done for me?" Homer said.

"What? Never seen a men express his anger to Santa Claus. Is there something wrong?"

"Well... I as a kid... I always wanted this particular snow globe... it had real crystals in it and the snowmen were made of real diamond. It was pretty I say, but... we didn't had the money so I had sent a message to Santa and apparently he never gave me a snow globe. Instead he gave me a pair of underwear. That's it." Homer argued.

"Uh... Homer. You do know Santa is not real... right?" Moe said.

"Wait what?" Homer became confused.

"Homer look... there is no... Hold on a sec. My phones ringing." Moe took out his cell phone.

He placed the cell phone to his ears and mouth and said, "Who is this?"

"Uh... is there a Mont Big Bhut Moore?" The Unknown Caller spoke.

"Hey, Barney, Lenny, Carl, Ian, and Homer. Do you know a Mont Big Bhut Moore? A Mount Big Buttmore? Anyone! Does anyone know a... Wait a minute?" Moe realized that his friends were laughing at him. He went directly to his cell phone in anger and threatened, "If I ever find you! I'll cut your guts open and replace your heart with a bunch of the finest blades made in China! YOU HERE ME!"

"Yeah! You tell him Moe!" Carl spoke.

The only response that Moe got was laughter... laughter that sounded like a mischievous boy but Moe put his cell phone back into his pocket and said, "Now Homer. Santa isn't real. We knew that Santa wasn't real after our childhoods were destroyed by FOX Broadcast at eight."

"Santa isn't real?" Homer's tone changed.

"Yep. Sorry if you thought he was..." Lenny placed his hand on Homer's shoulder.

"Oh... that's just great!" Homer became more angry. "You people are on Marge's side and Santa isn't even real!"

"Look, Homer. Your wife had a good point and it's the truth about Santa. Not real. Not in a million years!" Moe spoke.

Homer angrily and randomly pointed his shotgun to the sky again, pressing the trigger as he wasn't even looking. A bright burst of bullets shook up to the sky as suddenly a man in a jolly red suit fell to the ground unconscious.

"Huh? What do you know. Shotguns can shoot up to long range..." Lenny spoke.

"Oh god! Homer just shot someone! Let's get out of here!" Ian panicked.

Homer's own friends ran away in fear as he just stood there and watch... but he too was scared as he just shot someone, the authorities would never believe a Simpson.

"Oh... what to do? What to do?" Homer said.

Suddenly the man on the floor woke up tired as his chest was bleeding.

"AHH! He's a ZOMBIE! RUNAWAY!" Homer ran from the crime scene.

Now it was just the man in the woods all alone, speaking, "Ho Ho... aw crap. Whoever did this is going to get a hell of a beating from Jolly Old Nick!" Santa stood on his feet bleeding a bit.

He then spotted a shotgun on the floor, taking it and examined the only clue he could find... and so he saw the words engraved onto the shotgun saying, "Property of Homero Simpsone."

"This Simpson fellow is getting a Red Christmas this year!" Santa used his own fists to break the rifle into two pieces.

* * *

><p>Lisa stopped by at the mall glancing at the Malibu Stacy Hospital Set that included the new Medical Supplies and a Malibu Stacy Doctor's outfit. The perfect gift for an little girl but did Lisa had enough? No, the price was 29.99 and she had only twenty bucks from her last allowance and an old dusty bible in her hand<p>

"Ohh... now what to do?" Lisa thought to herself.

"Extra Cash?" A Kid came to her, reaching out his dirty dusty hands.

This was an orphan but all Lisa could say was, "I got problems of mine own, kid.". The Orphan just ignored her after that and walked away saying, "Extra Cash Please? Extra Cash sir? Excuse me, Extra Cash?" to several people he passed by, none not even one giving him a penny.

"Poor kid..." Lisa looked at the orphan.

She took a step forward away from the Mall placing her hands into her pockets until she notice the Pawn Shop, than she turned her head to the bible getting an idea from the one gift she didn't wanted for Christmas.

"Hmm... should I get the extra cash?" Lisa thought.

Suddenly the buildings started turning glowing red and the clouds turned from bright morning to dark purplish clouds that looked horrifying to be there. Than the Pawnshop came alive looking devious in a way.

"You know you want it Lisa..." The Pawnshop spoke.

"What the? This can't be..." Lisa backed away.

"Come on... what are you? A Scaredy Cat? Meow! Meow!" The Pawnshop mocked Lisa.

"He's making fun of both of us." A Stray Cat spoke to Lisa, who just looked at it oddly.

"It's not like you have a choice Lisa..." The Pawnshop spoke.

"I do have a choice! I'm not going to some pawnshop for some cash." Lisa yelled. "What the...?"

She suddenly found herself in the pawnshop, a bit surprised in one way but not surprised in the other.

"Here's the extra cash little missy." The owner, an obese sweaty man who handed her twenty bucks .

"I didn't want that!" Lisa argued.

"Meh. You did when you were daydreaming about living pawnshops and talking cats. Too bad, come back later." The Obese Man spoke.

* * *

><p>Lisa stepped out with forty bucks now... more than enough to buy the gift she wanted.<p>

"How could this go wrong now?" Lisa spoke to herself.

"Lisa! There you are! I was looking all over for you." Marge spotted her, holding Maggie in her arms, along with Bart standing next to her.

"What kept you so long Lise?" Bart asked.

"Lisa... I don't want to ruin this for you but have you seen your gift lately? It's a bible that's been passed from generation to generation. I received it from my mother one day. God bless her." Marge spoke in a bit worry.

Suddenly Lisa gasped that this was no ordinary bible... especially one that was generations to generations...

"So have you seen it?" Marge asked.

Lisa would have no idea how she would react if she told her that she sold a family gift to a pawnshop, so what did she had in mind?

"What would the bullies do? Blame someone?" Lisa thought for a moment, than she spotted Bart.

"Lisa? Do you know where it is?" Marge asked.

"Bart stole it." Lisa said.

"Oh... not again..." Marge became worried a bit to angry a bit. She then turned her head back to Bart who was looking at a piece of paper of some sort. "Bart!"

"Hey Mom. I got a big fat Christmas Bonus from the Music Shop I work at." Bart spoke.

"Yes, yes that's good! But do you know where Lisa's gift is?" Marge looked directly at Bart, feeling a bit ashamed of herself and angry at her own son.

"Look, I didn't stole it. I'm innocent man."

"Uh-huh... like the rest of the lies you said..." She sighed. "Bart, why do you keep on doing this?"

"But I really didn't do it!" Bart defended himself.

"Bart, your grounded until that bible is found. C'mon Lisa. Let's get going." She started walking as she gripped Bart's wrist.

Suddenly Maggie looked at her older sister in dismay seeing that she now had to blame someone else to get herself out of trouble.

"Oh... I feel so guilty..." Lisa felt gloomy in her heart.

"You're telling me." The Stray Cat walked by.

* * *

><p>Homer drove his car on the suburbs, feeling anxiously to go to home after the "accident" that happened there, too nervous, too worried, too stressed out that he shot someone from the sky and believe to be dead by all his friends... but what was the man doing there in the first place? What's with the red coat and the obesity that out beats Homer's, could it be that he did shot Santa or just some crazy fool who believes he's Santa?<p>

"Got to go home before the cops finds out..." Homer thought.

Suddenly the sound of sleigh bells rang...

"What the heck was that?" Homer thought.

Out of nowhere, the sound of a small explosion tackled the sedan, Homer floored it trying to get away from whatever is damaging his car.

"OH WHAT THE HELL!" Homer yelled out, looking outside to see Santa Claus and three elves on a flying sleigh.

"HO HO HO HOMERO!" Santa Claus spoke on the sleigh.

He held a bright red beautiful wrapped present in his hand but it was no ordinary gift as it had a fuse sparked to it. It was an explosive.

"Santa Claus Has Come To Town!" Homer yelled in worry.

Santa threw another explosive at him, this time tackling his Sedan into a tree where it crashed with many dents and many scratches but mostly a broken smoked engine. Homer stepped out of the car and saw Santa Claus and his three elves landing his sleigh on the snowy white lawn of someone's home, by the looks of the crime scenes, Hans Molemans.

"Homer. I would like to have a talk with you!" Santa spoke angrily.

"Uh.. um... I have a bomb!" Homer held up a gift in his hand.

"Oh please. That's just a children's toy? What? You think some Anti-American put a bomb into one of my gifts? Like that will ever happen to Santa." Santa spoke.

"I don't know... we haven't thoroughly checked the gifts completely." One of the elves spoke.

"Uh.. yeah. What he said! Stay back or I'll blow all of us with it including Hans Moleman's House over there." Homer said.

"You really think I would fall for..."

"Sir, I think we should give in! We have no idea what's in there." The Elves plead for their lives.

"Oh... all right, but the chase is still on." Santa spoke.

Homer carefully placed the so-called "bomb" on the snowy floor that way they won't even move, but Santa was just sighing that his own elves would actually believe such a thing, he had his own bombs so he knew that it wasn't his and was especially angry to see Homer quickly running saying, "Suckers!"

Santa than simply walked towards the gift and shaked it a few times scaring the elves a bit, backing away in fear even, but nothing happened.

"See? This is no bomb. It's just a..."

"KA-BLAM!" A mighty explosion was heard across the neighborhood at Hans Mole man's lawn. Homer who ran for his life heard the hugest explosion back where he just ran from. He turned back seeing the explosion, dropping his jaws in surprise.

"What do you know? It was a bomb." Homer spoke.

* * *

><p>Lisa Simpson decided to get the bible back seeing how important it really is, however the first minute she took a step near the Pawnshop she saw the same kid from before, this time with a group of them.<p>

"Hello... do you got any food to spare?" The Kid spoke.

"I know Orphans have money problems but doesn't the orphanage provide food anymore?" Lisa asked.

"What Orphanage?" The Poor Kid pointed to a particular place.

Lisa spotted a construction site where the Orphanage used to be, now there was a huge sign that said, "New Krusty Burger! Coming Soon."

"Oh my god. How could the beloved children's clown do this to orphan's?" Lisa spoke out.

"You got any food to spare?" The Poor Kid asked again.

Lisa looked at her forty bucks... she could get the bible out of the Pawnshop... but she also had a choice of enough money to buy each of these kids a meal... even if she did helped them out with there food problem, where would they stay? In the cold winter of December? If she got the bible, she would be left with twenty bucks feeding only half the orphans here, but her mom would be happy. She couldn't stand it, she didn't know what to do anymore.

"What can I do? Oh why did this had to happen?" Lisa said.

"Hahahaha!" The Pawnshop laughed at her like an evil Grinch. "Too bad Lisa! Is it the Starving Orphans or that Bart will be continued to be blamed for a lie!"

"Ooohhhh! I forgot about what I did to Bart!" Lisa thought.

"Hey Lisa! You gotten that bible yet you jerk!" Bart angrily walked towards his sister, holding both fist tightly in his pockets.

Suddenly the Pawnshop appeared like any normal building the minute Bart got here.

"Look! I'm sorry for what I did... I.. I just don't know what to do anymore..." Lisa spoke.

"Just get that gift now or..."

"Why does it have to be me! Why!" Lisa cried, running away from the situation.

"What's with her?" He said.

"Sibling problems?" Ian, the hippie freak who can't tell if he's a hippie or just a freak but still understands children these days and is also Bart's boss... sort of...

"My sister is no good lying sellout!" Bart spoke.

"Uh-huh... first time compared to what you've done."

"Done what?" He wondered.

"You vandalized public property, you make prank phone calls all the time to various people, you pull off pranks that even the town can't stand at times, in fact you harass your sister so many times that what she's done is nothing compared to what you've done in the past years." Ian spoke.

"Hey... your right..." Bart again realized his own problem was bigger than Lisa's.

"In fact, she's just having hard time deciding what to do with the forty bucks. Help the Orphans or Get the bible back... that is until you pushed your own frustration on her." Ian spoke.

"Well I could use this Christmas Bonus you gave me to help both the orphans and get the bible for Lisa but I really wanted that new game they just..." Bart said.

"Bart. It's your decision. Not mine. You can use your bonus to make your sister feel happy or you can buy that game and think about what you could've done instead." Ian spoke.

"Thanks Ian."

"Thanks **little dude**. You should be at least grateful that you did not do the things I did." Ian said.

"What do you mean."

"Well... I sort of tackled the mayor's dog one time but replace tackle with 'ran over' and replace dog with 'best friend' and replace one time with 'repeatedly'." Ian spoke to Bart.

* * *

><p>Homer, tired of what just happened, entered the house with a few injuries, tired, exhausted, needed a little break.<p>

"Homer! I was a bit worried over Lisa's gift and now you disappeared for some time." Marge came to him quickly.

"Really? You were worried after that argument we had?" Homer said.

"Argument? Don't worry about that, I'm just happy that..."

Suddenly the sound of Jazz arose in the area. It came from upstairs and Homer already had an angry idea who it was.

"Errr... Will she cut that racket out!" Homer, tired and grumpy.

"You sound like you were caught in a minefield." Marge spoke.

"More like bombs..."

"What was that?"

"Uh... nothing, dear. Still, I can't take that noise." Homer looked angrily upstairs feeling like he deserves some quiet.

* * *

><p>The Moon rose and Lisa Simpson was in her bedroom playing the Sax, music was one of the things that cheered her up and yet she still didn't know what to do... it was about to get worst as Homer bursted into her room.<p>

"LISA! CUT OUT THAT NOISE!" Homer yelled.

"It's just music, dad!" She cried.

In her saddest moment, she leaped off the bed and ran crying into her closet slamming it as hard as a little depressed girl could.

"Ooh... why does Lisa have to have emotions?" Homer sighed to himself, feeling regretful this time.

Homer went towards the closet and opened it slowly feeling a bit bad for Lisa.

"Uh... Lisa?"

"What?" She responded, wiping the tear from her eyes.

"I think you should play the.. um.."

"It's a Saxophone, dad." Lisa took the last tear off her eyes.

"Yeah, a Saxomajiggy-thing-uh-k-bob." Homer still had no idea what it is.

"What's the point anymore..." Looking down at the ground feeling sad enough as it is that her father had to come in.

"Tell you what, I'll... take you to the Zoo, just me and you."

"Zoo's remind me of the cages keeping animals from visiting there own families and homes. It's like a prison of mother nature there..." Still looking down at the ground, not even one look at her father.

"Lisa, you can play your instrument all you want. It won't bother me a bit. Please, just take all the time you want." Homer, hoping that this would make her feel better.

He than left as Lisa heard the door being closed. She stood up from the ground and as soon as she took a step out of the closet, she saw Bart already inside, hiding something and his two hands behind his back.

"Bart. Aren't you mad enough already..." Lisa sighed, placing her Saxophone on her bed.

"Actually Lisa, I feel bad for you." Bart said.

"Wait? What?" Lisa was astonished for a second.

"Yeah, you may have blamed me for something I didn't do... but, I've done more things that made you miserable at points. I figured I should apologize instead." Bart said.

"Well... thanks..." Lisa sarcastically spoke, didn't even smiled one bit to go with the sarcasm but neither was she mad, angry, or feeling sad... in fact, she just believed that he was lying, maybe even up to a prank again. "Just don't try to prank me on the way out."

"Okay Lisa. I get it. You don't believe me." Bart said.

"You obviously have some kind of pie, spider, or water gun behind your back." Lisa spoke.

"I can prove it that it's not another one of my stupid pranks." Bart assured himself.

Bart was about to show what he had behind his back but Lisa only thought "What is he up to this time?". But after Bart showed her, Lisa had a change of thoughts, she was surprised to actually see it again.

"I..It's Mom's Bible! My gift... but it looks polish and new." Lisa glanced at the bible.

"Oh... Mr. Burns owes me two favors... One of them was making the bible look brand new." Bart said.

"This is great Bart... but... but how did you got Mr. Burns to give in?" Lisa was curious about this.

"Oh... let's just say he won't be waking up to see El Barto all over his lawn.. heh heh.." He chuckled a bit sinisterly.

"Well... I got the bible back.. but there's still one other problem..." She glanced at the bible feeling somewhat saddened still.

"Oh... Don't worry. I got that problem solved too." Bart said.

Bart grabbed Lisa's hand wondering what he's doing now and wondering how he even knew she had a second problem. He pulled her over to the window and said, "Look at that." There, Lisa spotted all the orphans, not just the group from before but all of them from what used to be the orphanage.

"They have eaten, drank water, and now they have high-quality shelter that Nuclear Money could buy meaning a new orphanage thanks to that other favor that Mr. Burns owes me." Bart said.

"Oh thank you Bart!." She tried to hug her brother with a smile, but Bart stopped him as she said, "Oh c'mon, Bart."

"I don't know, might ruin my reputation and..."

Lisa hugged her brother anyway, interrupting Bart but felt he had to respond back.

Bart spoke, "Okay, just one hug".

Bart too hugged his sister feeling some happiness for being a big brother until one thing happened.

"HAW HAW! Your reputation is ruined!" Nelson pointed his finger to Bart outside through Lisa's Window.

Bart and Lisa just wondered how at every time he manages to point out something bad at the right moment, looking at Nelson and at each other repeatedly, thinking it was a bit awkward to be a coincidence every time.

* * *

><p>The two siblings went down the stairs and forwards to the Living Room, spotting their two parents, there youngest sibling, there mom's two sisters, and apparently no elderly relatives since there still gambling at the basement.<p>

"There you two are. It's the night before Christmas." Homer spoke.

"Yes but I need to say something first." Lisa said.

She took a step forward to her two parents, Homer and Marge, as she was about to tell the truth.

"I was the one who stole the bible. Bart had nothing to do with it." Lisa said.

"But your the most trusted one around the house!... well, only trusted one... but still? Why?" Marge was a bit confused.

"Well... I kind of wanted to know what it was... than I got a bit angry it was a bible until I found out that it was more important than ever after I kind of... sold it..."

"Well... don't worry Lisa. Bart got the bible back and plus, it's not as bad as what Bart does..." Marge spoke.

"Hey!" Bart argued.

"Meh, it's Christmas. Get over with it." She sighed.

Lisa than went forward to Maggie and said, "Maggie. I don't know if you can understand me but I'm also sorry for being a bad role model at that time and..."

Out of nowhere, Maggie just pulled out a pacifier and stuck it to Lisa's mouse, smiling like the infant baby she is.

It was now Homer who came to Marge and said, "Marge. I'm sorry to as well..."

"For what?" She asked.

Suddenly the door bell rang as the man yelled out, "That!".

"Oh... who could be here at this night before Christmas?" Marge spoke.

"Wait! No! Not the..."

Marge opened the door anyway revealing Santa Claus with a broken leg at his doorstep.

"Oh god. We got another hobo dressed up as Santa." Bart sighed.

"I'm no hobo and I need to talk to Homer Simpson." He spoke.

"Homer, the hobo wants to talk to you." Marge spoke.

"I'm no hobo!" He argued.

"Uh.. I'll talk to him outside." A worried Homer spoke.

The two stepped outside as the whole family watched from the house.

"Homer Simpson, I need your help." He spoke.

"What?" Wondering why the man he just shot needs his help.

"My foot is broken and I need to deliver all these presents to the children." Santa held a huge bag of gifts.

"Why? I just shot you, than I left a bomb at your sleigh and..."

"Look... let's just forget that happened, I'm just asking you because your the only guy here who's close to being fat as me."

"Actually he's way more fatter if you try stretching out his flabby skin." Bart pointed out.

"BART!" He yelled at him.

Bart quickly ran upstairs in the house as Homer and Santa watched.

"Look, what do you say? No one's going to notice... I'll cover the whole thing up. Besides, you owe me for what you did back there." Santa spoke.

"Alright... I'll deliver the presents, sheesh." Homer sighed in a bit thinking this is much bothersome.

* * *

><p>Homer Simpson was dressed up as Santa Claus in his bright red outfit and even a little white beard to it as the family watched.<p>

"Oh god. Homer. Your taking the hobo's place?" Marge said.

"I'm not a hobo!" Santa spoke, as he now had to wore Homer's clothes.

"Hey Hobo. What's with the bullet wound on your head?" Lisa asked.

"Grrr..." Santa became quite tempered...

"So, who wants to watch me take this thing for a spin?"

"Nah, I really got to take the kids to bed, it's past there bed time." Marge yawned.

"But..."

"Homer, let's keep this a secret." Santa whispered to his ear.

"Oh... fine." He sighed.

* * *

><p>Everyone was back in the living room, everyone but Homer as the rest were getting ready to either leave or go to sleep.<p>

"Bye Patty and Selma." Marge said as they weren't looking outside the window, where the sleigh was hovering.

"Good night Bart, it's been a good Christmas this year." Lisa said, as the reindeer started floating behind there backs as well...

"Good night Lisa." Bart said as they weren't looking at Homer who was now on fire trying to get the thing flying up in the air instead of just hovering.

And so...

* * *

><p>30 YEARS LATER...<p>

"Than what happened!" Bart's Eldest suddenly yelled out his mouth.

There stood Zia, Bart's two children, and Maggie Jr. in Zia's arms as they sat next to an old man sitting on a bench.

"Well that was quite simple. Homer delivered the presents, and the rest slept peacefully as Homer came back with spears to his stomach from the Muslim and Chinese Countries. They don't like anyone enforcing any culture or religion to there owns you know." The Mysterious Men said.

"This whole story sounds like a big bluff due to that Santa Storyline." Zia spoke.

"Oh, it's no bluff... well... Okay, Homer was hallucinating the whole thing but the Chinese and Muslim part was true just about everything else about that story was true." He spoke. "That snowglobe was given by Abe Simpson at the very same Christmas I just told."

"What about that padlock they gave us?" Bart's Youngest Child spoke.

"Oh that? Grandpa Bouvier just won that in a poker game."

"Oh... well I guess these gifts do mean something than... but what about the tree we burned down?" Bart's Youngest Child sighed in disappointment.

"Well... it can just grow back again. Trees are grown from nuts you know, than you can have a story of your own. Yep. Christmas isn't about the presents, or the beautiful decorations, or even ham.. it's about spending time with loved ones and..."

"Isn't pretty much every holiday is about that?" Zia sighed.

"Well... in a way... yes, but Christmas is still an important part of people's lives, it helps bring people together."

"How do you know all this mister?" The two Bart children asked.

"Let's say I.. um... huh? How do I know this... You know what... just go have fun with the family. Who knows what tales you might tell."

"Well okay. Thanks for the story mister." The two children ran off.

"Thanks **little dude**." The Mysterious Old Man spoke.

Suddenly Zia stopped for a moment and said, "Wait? What did you just say? You almost sound like that character from your story..."

"I just said thanks." He spoke.

"Oh... okay..." Zia felt strange about this man.

The children went back inside as the old man watched, suddenly the snowy winds blew harder as he vanished without a trace... Zia still kept the question in mind, "Do you believe in ghosts?" anyway... Who was she talking to?

* * *

><p>(EXTRA SCENE (AKA IF YOU STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHO THE MYSTERIOUS OLD MAN IS... THAN GO AHEAD AND READ THIS)<p>

It was one big happy family, they were singing Christmas Carols at their house as Homer was playing the piano. The song they first sang was "Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer". That Christmas reminded Homer of a Christmas too when he was playing the piano and brought home "Santa's Little Helper" as the present where the whole family could shared their love when they were **Roasting Upon an Open Fire**. As the whole family sang and cheered, there were a few people outside watching them in the living room.

"You did good Ian. For a hippie freak, you did good." God spoke as only half of his body could be seen.

"Uh-huh. What's with that lie about me in a story?" Santa spoke.

"Yep... still, can't believe I was there to baptize Homer at seaworld... man, what a large baby." Jesus spoke.

"Guys, guys. Were all good men. Let's just have some nice refreshing Hot Cocoa." Ian said.

"CHEERS!" All four of them said.

They suddenly vanished into thin air... leaving only a Tree Sprout at The Simpson's front lawn...


	3. Job Fair

(Don't forget to Alert! Let's you know when this fan-fiction gets updated)

* * *

><p><span>Opening Gag<span> - Bart's Comet comes flying through the sky, burning into a small ball knocking out a pigeon

Bill Board Gag - "Bumblebee Man Is Socrates"

Chalkboard Gag - "I will not accuse Family Guy as Plagiarism, I will not accuse Family Guy as Plagiarism"

Couch Gag - The Simpsons run to the couch Three Dimensional.

Ep 51 - S02E02 Date - Dec. 30, 2011

**Job Fair**, Synopsis - Skinner tricks the students into a Job Fair Trip where they must now apply for simple jobs... however, things don't go the way expected...

* * *

><p>It was a bright and beautiful morning, Principle Skinner stepped into his office before the Teachers and Students came. He quickly closed the door and slipped to the ground slowly in disappointment.<p>

"Oh god. Another morning here... Most of them barely learn anything." Skinner said so stressfully.

He then stood up from the floor, straightening his tie, and spotted the paper work on his desk.

"When I took this job, I expected respect, decency in these children, coming to me for help if they have trouble but all they are is a bunch of troublemakers making it harder for this school to push upwards." Skinner sat onto his chair, trying to feel relax, yet he still complains. "It's bad enough the education isn't decent, but the text books here are so old that they shatter into pieces."

Skinner took a text book from his desk that said, "The Book of Alchemy" in Renaissance Italian. He attempted to blow the dust off the cover but as he did, suddenly the whole book was blown away into millions of tiny particles just like the dust.

"And the lunch. Oh god. The food there is either imitated Prison Food or artificial Military Rations from the 50's." Skinner felt very disappointed in this school. "These kids barely have the experience of the outside world... what will it take them to get interested in... Hello? What's this?"

Skinner who once felt disappointed in this school, wondering if it was the teachers, the students, or maybe himself that has done this to Springfield Elementary spotted an ad that could get the children some experience, interested in education, better yet, help there future's when it comes to a resume.

"A Job Fair at the Springfield Community Center! This is the perfect field trip. In fact, why not have the students get some small-time jobs too.. but the children would rather be here messing up the hallways than participate in a job fair... what to do, Skinner?" Skinner thought.

Suddenly he had an idea.

* * *

><p>"Can you sign my permission slip?" Bart asked.<p>

Bart arrived from school, holding a permission slip towards his mother, Marge Simpson, as she was washing the dishes in the kitchen while Homer was reading the newspaper at the table as Maggie Simpson was playing with her food again.

"What for Bart?" Marge asked.

"To the Game Arcade." Bart answered.

Suddenly Lisa stepped in and said, "Strange? My permission slip is to the planetarium. How come you have something different?" She wondered.

"Big deal. Back in my day as a kid, there were no permission slips... that was until some fat jerk alarmed America after some accident." Marge spoke, feeling a bit angry of that. "I missed seven trips because I forgot to turn in my permission slip."

"Wait a minute... I was the fat jerk who did that! Marge!" Homer whined.

"Oh.. uh... sorry... I just didn't realized that you were the one who... you know... ruin my chances to see Mt. Rushmore... or the Empire State Building..." Marge felt a bit unexpected that she just called her husband a fat jerk.

"What did you do Homer?" Bart asked.

"I don't know... Took over a bus and drove it into a river. Lots of my classmates got injured and threatened to sue the school and suddenly every school in America realized they could get sued as well and you know what happened. Permission Slips everywhere." Homer spoke.

Suddenly everyone looked at him, even Marge regretted the apology. Every family member surrounding Homer thought, "He really is a Fat Jerk."

"You drove a bus... off a bridge?" Lisa just looked at him, never expecting even him to do this.

"What? I was Ten!" Homer defended himself with a simple excuse.

* * *

><p>The School Bus carrying most of the students, headed to its destination as Bart and Lisa wonder why they were on the same bus yet there permission slip says they are heading to two whole different destinations.<p>

"The bus must be heading to several places." Bart thought.

Bart then turned his head to Milhouse, saying, "Hey , Milhouse. I just found out my dad was the reason for the whole permission slips thing."

"You think you got problems. I tried joining the football team and they threw me in a trashcan." Milhouse said unpleasantly.

"You tried joining the cheerleaders or the Nerd Alliance?" Bart asked, thinking that even he can enter those activities.

"Yeah, but the nerds and cheerleaders also threw me into a trashcan. That bubblegum got stuck in my hair for four days straight..." Milhouse sighed, feeling a bit dejected.

"Were here!" Skinner announced.

The children suddenly ran through the bus's main door, gasping what they saw. They weren't happy, just disappointed. In front of them was the Springfield Community Center with a banner above that said, "JOB FAIR"

"A Job Fair?" Nelson became unhappy with this. "I thought we were going to Lego Land!"

"I thought we were going for ice-cream." Uter, unhappy that he get any ice-cream.

"We kind of lied about the permission slips and placed labels on the word 'Job Fair'." Skinner held a random permission slip in his right hand with the label, "Arcade Center" in front of the students.

The Principle peeled off the label "Arcade Center" and behind it appeared "Job Fair". The children were angry, even Lisa, as they were all tricked into this trip.

"Now that I have your permission slips signed, I believe you'll find escape... very impossible." Skinner grinned towards the frustrated student. "Now, Students. I want you to learn from these people, so each of you must get some kind of job and write a report about it."

The Students whined and mumbled unhappily that they now had to get jobs with a report to it. Some even crossed their arms while others kicked rocks angrily.

"Well? What are you waiting for! It's that or you can stay here with me." Skinner spoke.

"Huh... Now I suddenly feel like going to the Job Fair..." Bart said just as he heard the other option.

Suddenly the other students changed their minds that they would rather be at a Job Fair than hearing Skinner blabber his days about Vietnam.

* * *

><p>As the students first stepped into the Springfield Community's Center's Gym, the Job Fair was immense, there were many who offered jobs to experience adults but also to those of young-lings. Lisa was the most surprised that so many people of Springfield came here. There were some from Shelbyville, some from Capital City, a few were from North Havenbrook, Ogden Ville, Terror Lake, but most were Springfieldians.<p>

"I may have been tricked but this could really help my future." Lisa thought.

She decided to check into this, wanting to learn more from the Employers here. She first spotted Comic Book Guy's Job Booth where the school nerds, Ham, Database, and Email were checking it out but she had no interest in the shop, especially when the Employer and Boss is grouchy and ignorant all the time.

* * *

><p>Three bullies stood at a job booth, speaking to an Female Employer, asking a few questions.<p>

"So if I get this job, will this look good on my resume?" Jimbo asked, thinking this might work.

"How much does it pay anyway?" Kearney asked, hoping it was worth it.

"Do you think our talents will be useful here?" Dolph asked, in desperation.

It was the well-known bullies, Jimbo, leader, Kearney, grownup, and Dolph, Jewish, all who stood at a job booth as Lisa spotted them, a bit surprised of what they were applying for.

"You bullies do know this is a Fashion Modeling Job Booth?" Lisa wondered why in the world would they choose this one out of all the job booths here.

"Uh... we were just... going to rob the Fashion Store!" Jimbo answered awfully quickly.

"Jimbo, Kearney, Dolph. Your perfect! You can start working at wedding outfits tomorrow!" The Employer spoke joyfully and directly to the bullies as Lisa heard the whole thing.

"Uh.. that's just our... inside person." Jimbo was too nervous and embarrassed to think of a good excuse anymore.

"Uh-huh. Talk to me when you're telling the truth." Lisa walked away.

* * *

><p>Bart stood at Glenn's Grocery's Job Booth, just asking a few questions wondering why he looks so angry today.<p>

"Hey Mister. You look pretty angry today" Bart asked.

"Me, Ol' Glenn, is just angry because of Mark over there." Glenn angrily looked to his rival. "That Jerk. Thinks he's so great, talking to that little nerd, with all his fine groceries! Now he's looking at me with his evil dreadful eyes, he must be planning something."

Meanwhile, Milhouse stood at Mark's Grocery's Booth who angrily complained about his rival.

"Just look at him, thinks' he's perfect, talking to that spike-haired kid over there, and having fine groceries." Mark angrily looked to his rival. "Man, he's now looking over here with his deceiving eyes... what's he up to?"

The Two Boys, Bart at Glenn's Booth and Milhouse at Mark's Booth, stepped back, not wanting to be a part of the rivalry the two guys had, who angrily and despisely looked at each other, not knowing that they think alike. These two must have some real bad history.

* * *

><p>Milhouse, Handy, Nelson, and Bashir were all at Luigi's Booth, thinking about being chefs or waiters. Unlike most booth's, Luigi's Booth had wooden chairs this time where you can sit and rest your legs.<p>

"So... uh.. what jobs you got?" Nelson asked.

"I...I'm so sorry... I..I'm just not feeling well..." Luigi cried, feeling very tragic of what just happened.

"Look? What's wrong." Handy asked, pretending to feel concern.

"M... My potbelly pig ran away and now I'm afraid that I lost him forever!" He cried, as he dropped his head to the table.

"Okay, how about if we look for this pig of yours. Milhouse is attractive to different pigs of sorts you know, so he's perfect bait."

"Am not!" Milhouse argued.

"Uh-huh... say that to the time you rolled in your own filth with the other pigs." Bashir spoke.

"... Yeah, well. Will look for your pig and in return you hire us, no questions at all, and gives us each a finished School Assignment, a report on what kind of job we have." Handy spoke.

"I..I like you kids. Your hired. What's your names?" Luigi asked, who felt some hope in him.

"I, the guy with the sunglasses and messy hair, is Handy. My Muslim Friend here is Bashir."

"Hi!" Bashir spoke friendly.

"Big arms there is Nelson."

"What's up." Nelson said.

"And four eyes there is Milhouse."

"Wait? Four Eyes?" Milhouse spoke.

"Well... your hired. Come to work next week. I'll finish your reports tomorrow." Luigi wiped off his last tear

"We get our homework done early and we don't have to work next week. You striked us a real good deal, Handy." Nelson smiled.

"I striked many good deals. I sold a Bebe gun to Ralph Wiggum. Hey! There he is right now. Hi, Ralph! Handy smiled at him.

"I was on a Newspaper." Ralph replied.

"Yep. He shot a policeman's eye out, Clancy Wiggum, his dad, and drove his police car into the Kwik-E-Mart. Good times..." Handy smiled.

* * *

><p>Lisa stood at another booth smiling, "Aww... you sell pets here?"<p>

"Yeah, or eat them." The Employer spoke in boredom.

"Wait? What?" Lisa was shocked, not feeling happy anymore.

" This is the Pet and Meat Store. Our Slogan is, "Don't want them? Eat them!".

"That's just cruel!" Lisa argued.

"Uh-huh. Say that to Krusty Burger. The secret meat in there burgers is Bull Testicles." He sighed, not feeling any respect for the animals

"I...I think I'm going to throw up..." Lisa replied, as she spotted a bathroom nearby.

"Kids going to have to know sooner or later." He watched Lisa dashed into the bathroom's doors.

* * *

><p>The trip was finally over, children went towards the entrance, feeling relieved that it's over, handing out papers of what applied job they got to Principle Skinner. As it went by, Skinner spotted Bart, despising every move he made.<p>

"Where's your paper Bart!" Skinner noticed no paper.

"Don't have one." Bart replied, simply.

"Don't have one! Your getting a..."

"I already got a job, sheesh." Bart spoke.

"Got one! That lying little..." Skinner grabbed Bart by teh arm.

"It's actually true." Lisa came to Skinner. "He has a job at Ian's Music Shop."

"Fine. He won this round but if I catch your brother..."

"He's going to fail the report. We all know it. You don't have to announce it." Lisa simply said it in front of Bart.

"Hey! I'm not going to fail it! I'll... Meh, your right. Don't care anyway." Bart walked out of here.

"Anyway, here's my paper. Out of all the jobs, this seems to be the most normal." Lisa stepped outside, handing her paper to the Principle.

"Try-N-Save Mart. Not a bad choice, Lisa." Skinner said.

"Hello Principle Sasquatch." Ralph smiled. "I threw up in your office one time!"

"Uh.. yes.. " Skinner felt totally disgusted of that reminder. "Ralph? What job did you get."

Ralph handed his paper to Skinner. He looked at it for a moment and slapped his hand to his forehead feeling totally unexpected of this.

"PRIME MINISTER OF RUSSIA!" Skinner, shocked that Ralph got such a responsibility

"What's a Prome Manaster?" Ralph asked, smiling having no idea what he just obtained.

Two Russian Soldiers came along with rifles and said, "We will now escort our new leader to his new home now."

"Wait! You can't take him! He has the lowest IQ in the whole school! He'll turn your country into nothing but rubble!" Skinner warned them.

The two Russian Soldiers just ignored him, escorting the smiling Ralph outside of the Community Center, who absolutely had no clue what was going on. There the students were astonished to see the Russians escorting Ralph into the Russian Presidential Limousine, right in front of the bus

"Ralph's grown up now. It's time to move on." Bart spoke next to his friends.

"What do you mean? He became Prime Minister at a job booth in a few minutes!" Lisa argued. "How come he's the Prime Minister and were stuck... oh forget it..."

The students stared at the Limousine, still astounded that Ralph is now a Leader, driving away with Ralph saying, "Stranger Danger! Stranger Danger!" along the way.

* * *

><p>Morning arose awakening Springfield as a nice start just as Bart went to work early. There he saw "The Feel" a music shop next to the bigger "Aztec Theater" and the even more bigger "Costington's". Bart hummed a song along the way as he first stepped into the shop expecting his adult friend, Ian... but he instead saw two familiar students.<p>

"Richard? Lewis? What are you doing here!" Bart smiled that some of his friends are here this early.

Richard, the grey-haired student at Springfield Elementary who usually wears a blue leather jacket around him and Lewis, one of the handful of African-American students and another friends of Bart's.

"You rarely hang out with us anymore." Richard spoke against Bart.

"Yeah, why do you always hang out with that sidekick of yours..." Lewis said, feeling a bit angry.

Bart did not expect this kind of attitude, but they were right. He didn't hang out with them that much as he always had more and more friends over the months.

"Well uh... what are you doing here anyway?"

"We work here. We applied jobs at the Music Shop and one other person. I applied because I'm a fan of Jazz like most African Americans are." Lewis said.

"I applied here because I'm a fan of rock, like most of us average Americans are." Richard said.

"So you just applied for your own interests... oh... I thought..."

"Hi Everyone!" Martin stepped out of Ian's Office. "I'm your manager now!"

"Well, I quit." Bart immediately responded.

"Wait! Wait!" Ian stepped out of his office. "He's a temporary manager. I'm leaving right now and coming back tomorrow to... bring the 'stuff' man."

"The what?" Bart asked.

"The 'stuff'." Ian showed him a huge brown bag.

"Uh... right..." Bart had no idea what he meant. "Okay, I guess it's just a day."

"See ya little dudes!" Ian stepped out of the Music Shop.

As soon as Ian left, Martin said, "Let's make this into real workmanship! Lewis! Sweep the floor!"

"Again!" Lewis argued

"Richard, organize the CDs in there correct order"

"Oh! I just did that!" Richard sighed.

"And Bart! File all the paper work!" Martin commanded.

"Oh man... I hope the others are happy with their jobs..." Bart sighed.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile at Mr. Burns Friendly Textile Factories.<p>

"WORK! WORK I SAY!" Mr. Burns whipped the children as they working at a Textile Factory under harsh work conditions. "The Industrial Revolution Depended on Cheap Child Labor and so does this factory!"

"But wasn't that the whole reason why they banned Child Labor in the first place, because it was dangerous for children at a young age to work at Factories and Mines? Were not even getting paid! This is basically Child Slavery!" Uter Zorker asked.

"Disrespecting your employer, eh! Take him to the Coal Mines!" Mr. Burns ordered.

"You may put my fat slob of a body in the deepest Coal Mines but we will revolt! REVOLUTION MY BETHREN" Uter yelled, shaking his fist in the air.

Suddenly all the children, especially, the Spuckler Children, looked at this as a sign of hope until Mr. Burns turned his head back saying, "WELL! WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT!"

The children continued to work as Mr. Burns grinned, "Excellent!"

* * *

><p>" What the hell is this!" The Manager of the Try-N-Save Mart and many other stood before rubbles of concrete once known as the Try-N-Save Mart.<p>

Smoke loomed out of the area as it was nothing more than a ashed concrete.

"Who's responsible for this!" Yelled furiously.

Suddenly everyone pointed towards Lisa and Janie.

"What happened!" Wondered how two Nine-Year Olds could've done this.

"Uh... well... Janie caused a gas leak by accident and I sort of brought my Science Project that had a flask that needed heated but..."

"You brought fire during a gas leak! What idiot does that!"

"You can't expect me to get an F." Lisa said.

"Well now my store and your little science project is ruined! Your both fired!" He yelled.

"Oh no..." Janie sighed, expecting this anyway.

"Now I'm going to fail my report! Oh great!" Lisa sighed.

"Beat it! Now! I got no time for troublemakers!" The Manger angrily spoke.

The two girls walked away in dismay as the employees and customers watched them angrily feeling no sympathy for them...

* * *

><p>"Hello! This is Kent Brockman LIVE." Kent spoke as everyone watched the News. "The once simple-minded Ralph Wiggum is now the Prime Minister of Russia and has made a speech with the most famous encouraging words, "Stranger Danger! Stranger Danger!". Now everyone in Russia has defended their children with their lives against criminals and strangers. Not only that, he boosted the economy and made strong reforms. Here's an video where I interview Ralph myself."<p>

A Video Appeared within the screen showing Kent interviewing Ralph with a microphone, all the way in Moscow, Russia.

"Ralph! How does it feel to be Prime Minister of Russia, helping this country get back on its feet?" Kent asked.

"Your funny!" Ralph pointed at Kent.

The video reverted back to Kent sitting at his desk and holding papers in his hands about to speak.

"'Your Funny'. Great Words From A Great Leader. This is Kent LIVE, goodbye." Kent spoke.

Suddenly the Television's screen turned to blank as Martin yelled, "More Work. Less Watch!"

Martin was again ordering the tired students to work harder and harder.

"Oh c'mon. We've been working all day!" Bart complained.

"So what! You mixed the D Category's with the M Category's. It's all wrong! Reorganize them!" Martin yelled.

"Ohh... why am I even listening to this jerk?" Bart thought miserably and angrily.

* * *

><p>Lisa and Janie were at a crosswalk, feeling a bit gloomy, waiting for the light to turn green so cars wouldn't be coming at them.<p>

"What are we going to do?" Lisa asked, hoping her friend may have an answer.

"We could work at the Kwik-E-Mart..." Janie replied.

"Nah... I heard they have a bug problem there..." Lisa spoke.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile at the Kwik-E-Mart.<p>

Customers were waiting for several hours as Apu was dealing with a bug problem at the closet.

"This is one huge bug!" Apu quickly slammed the door, stepping outside trying to take a big breath.

He had slash marks on his arm, his hair was messy, and the sleeves of his clothes were ripped as he spotted seven angry customers waiting in line for some time.

"I'll come to you! Right after I kill that huge bug." Apu grabbed a baseball bat from his counter.

He entered right back, and yelled, "TAKE THIS YOU DAMN BUG! OH FOR THE LOVE OF VISHNU! MY BAT!" Apu yelled.

He then quickly stepped outside again, slamming the door as fast as he could, holding a Baseball Bat that was half bitten.

"He's a feisty one... but I think maybe if we just leave it there, it won't..."

Suddenly they heard several crawling noises above in the ceiling causing the customer to be angry to afraid.

"Better get the shotgun..." Apu said.

* * *

><p>Lisa looked down to the ground, still waiting for the light to turn green, saying "Well... I guess we can start looking for jobs in the morning as long as they..."<p>

"Look!" Janie pointed to an Old Man who was in trouble, or at least he didn't know it.

The Old Man wore a tuxedo and a hat to it, but that didn't matter as he took one step with his left foot onto a cross walk during a red light, just as a Truck was heading this way.

Lisa and Janie quickly grabbed the Old Man by the jacket, pulling him back into the streets saying, "Are you crazy!" just as they landed on their bottom. Lisa was the most surprised as her heart was beating twice as fast.

"What just happened? I could've swear it was green." The Old Man spoke.

"Well, he's not blind by the look of his eyes." Janie said. "He must just be really old."

"Well? What happened?" The Old Man asked.

"Well.. for one thing! You were almost road kill." Lisa yelled.

"Oh really... well... I guess I could help you get jobs. I heard you complaining about it." He said. "Here's my card. Has some directions on the back where you can find the place."

"Let me guess. Assistants to help you out whenever you need coffee... or a call from the hospital?" Lisa sighed in boredom.

"Nope... better." He replied.

* * *

><p>It was another morning, another day to work at the music shop which Bart suddenly hates now ever since Martin was put in charge. He stood next to Richard and Lewis as Martin began to make new orders.<p>

"Okay, now I want you to..."

"Oh! Will you put a sock in it Martin! Jesus, your overworking us!" Bart argued.

"No, I am not! You sir will not be cleaning the toilets because of that remark!" Martin angrily commanded.

"Hey. What's up little dudes." A Familiar Voice awoke their ears.

It was Ian, and he was back holding a suitcase of clothes in one hand and a bag of "the stuff" in the other.

"Delay that order, Martin. Now I'm in charge." Ian spoke calmly, placing the bag and suitcase onto the ground.

"Finally, can we get paid now? I really need some new clothing's I spotted by the..." Martin said, but was interrupted by Ian.

"Get Paid? Just get whatever is from the cash register, man." Ian spoke.

"That's what I've been telling him all day!" Bart angrily complained.

"Calm down, man. Now Martin, you did a good job, so you get to pick out the.. uh.. the cash. Yes, the cash." Ian had a bit of a hard time remembering.

"How much should I get?"

"How would I know." Ian responded.

Martin just went ahead and grab some of the cash from the cashier as Bart, Lewis, and Richard watched tiredly.

"Well that takes care of it. You seem beat, I'll need to check out the cash." Ian went over to the cash register. He was suddenly surprised a bit, too surprised.

"Oh no. Martin stole all the money. Didn't he?" Bart said.

"Who's Martin, man? Some jerk stole a twenty next to the rest of the cash. We've just got robbed! Quick! Call 911!" Ian was confused of this, simply forgetting what just happened.

"Some twenties? Not all... Is he... always like this?" Richard asked.

"Yep. He's a child inside, always forgetting stuff for being a hippie-freak." Bart replied.

"So wait... he's high!" Lewis asked as the three watched him using a carrot as a phone calling out, "911, 911!"

"Nah. Like I said, he's always like this. Him being high on Marijuana just makes him remembers. Still bad for the health though."

"So wait? If he's high, he remembers... but if he's just not on the drugs, he forgets so much. That's just confusing."

"It gets more confusing once you ask questions about how he used to be... " Bart replied back.

* * *

><p>The sun was going down for the day and Lisa and Janie was sure this wasn't the right place.<p>

"Why are we standing in front of the KBBL Radio Station?" Lisa asked.

"I followed the directions. This can't be it... You don't think that?" Janie asked, wondering if she was thinking the same thing.

"You are right you two." The Same Old Man from before stood behind them.

They turned around and said, "You work at the KBBL Radio Station! That's the most popular Radio Station in Springfield!".

"Work here? I own it. Come in, come in and please... call me Mr. Max." He spoke.

* * *

><p>Lisa and Janie were walking with Mr. Max as he was giving the two girls a tour.<p>

"This Radio Station was the TV of the time in Springfield back than, and it's still popular right now." Mr. Max said.

"Yeah, reminds me of the time that Bart..."

"Bart Simpson? The one who constantly annoyed the hell out of us so he can get an Elephant?" Mr. Max looked at them angrily.

"Umm... yes..." Lisa answered.

"Oh good. I needed to see if your telling the truth. I like people who tell the truth. Now come. Let me show you some people who work here."

* * *

><p>They stepped into a room where they saw two guys prepared to leave.<p>

"I think you know them. There the hosts of KBBL Radio. Bill and Marty."

"Oh my god. I love your show and... Is that Hans Moleman? What's he doing here with the cops?" Lisa spotted some trouble on board.

"Just ignore them. Hans Moleman is being transferred to a mental hospital. He believes he's younger than Bill and Marty combined."

Just as the cops grab hold of Hans Moleman, his ID Card fell out of his pocket. The cops picked it up and were a bit surprised.

"Hey, wait a minute. You are younger than Bill and Mart combined. In fact, this guy is only 32." Lou said.

"That's what I've been trying to tell you..." Hans Moleman said.

"Like I said. Ignore him, I'll talk to him later. Anyway, I do want you to be assistants... but for the radio station. Do you think you can do it?" He smiled.

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" Lisa and Janie instantly gave their answers.

"Good. That's the enthusiasm this Radio station needs!"

"Uh... sir." Eddie, another police cop, spoke to Mr. Max. "Hans Moleman appears to be crazy because... well... he jumped out of the window naked and yelled out, 'USA' repeatedly."

"Not again..." He sighed.

* * *

><p>It was morning this time, and Bart and Lisa were eating cereal at the table. Marge came in, smiling as usual wanting to ask a few questions.<p>

"So Bart and Lisa. How was it yesterday?" Marge asked.

"I get to work at the KBBL Radio Station as an assistant, mom!" Lisa smiled in joy.

"What! No fair!... Oh well, at least Ian is back. Martin quit after seeing how Ian run things." Bart said.

"That's not the only good news. Ralph is coming back, apparently he found the job to stressful and Handy, Nelson, Milhouse, and Bashir already got their report done." Lisa smiled.

"Yeah... but there's something I'm still wondering? Has anyone seen Uter Zorker lately?" Bart asked.

* * *

><p>Mr. Burns was trapped in his office, scared along with Smithers as the children who were forced to work at the mines and factories were now revolting against Burns, pushing forwards at the door.<p>

Behind the doors, were the tough-hearted Spuckler Children pushing against the doors, as the rest of the children were armed, commanded by Uter Zorker himself.

"Move Forwards My Comrades!" Uter Zorker commanded

"I never knew the day would come. Smithers! You'll do anything right?" Burns asked.

"Yes sir! I'll do anything!" Smithers spoke.

"Use yourself as a human shield then! Make yourself useful for once." Mr. Burns commanded.

Suddenly Smither's mumbled under his breath, "Sometimes, I don't know why I listen to him..."

* * *

><p>(WHO WANTS TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO LUIGI'S PIG?)<p>

A Spokesperson representing Russia stood before a crowd of people, sobering that there Prime Minister went away in front of the Prime Minister's Home.

"I know that you miss the Great Ralph Wiggum... but I have found and even bigger person who will lead this country to hope, unity, and duty! Meet our new Prime Minister!" The Spokesperson said as a man stepped out of the Prime Minister's Home.

"Oink! Oink!" Plopper the Spider-pig smiled before the crowd.

"THE AMAZING SPIDER-PIG EVERYONE!" The Spokesperson smiled.


	4. Lisa Vs McCarthyism

Opening Gag: Sideshow Bob hang-glides in the air only to be shocked by lightning.

Billboard Gag: "Space Mutants Vs. Happy Little Elves, THE MOVIE." Roger Ebert writes "WORST CROSSOVER EVER"

Chalkboard Gag: "Who are you to say what I says?" "Who are you to say what I says" "Who are you to say what I says"

Couch Gag: The Simpsons bounce by pogo sticks, jumping off of the pogo sticks and landing on the couch. Homer however crashes his head into the wall.

Ep 51 - S02E03 Date - Jan. 08 2012

**Lisa Vs. McCarthyism**, Synopsis: The school is destroyed by Bart, but everyone thinks it was a bomb made by communists. Suddenly McCarthyism is rising into the paranoid town of Springfield, and only Lisa sees the truth.

* * *

><p>Principle Skinner and Superintendent Chalmers walked together in the school hallways of Springfield Elementary as Chalmers was done with his report.<p>

"So far so good. The school has never looked better Seymour... though strangely every time I say it's good... something bad happens, but I don't believe in superstition." Superintendent Chalmers smiled at Skinner's Progress on the school.

"Yep. You could say that again." Skinner smiled back, just so he could be on his good side rather than his usual "SKINNER!" bad side.

"Anyway, the students are actually getting a bit more better... why even Bart Simpson is doing good in health, which is quite strange because every time he leaves that class, he looks like he just got blackmailed or is afraid to talk. Who runs that class anyway?" Chalmers asked.

"Why it's Mr. Nental sir. Great man, very nice person, though I have to admit that the children do look awkward every time they leave that class but oh well. Who knows what's going inside their?" Skinner commented. "Nothing can go wrong today. I can assure you that."

* * *

><p>During Science, Bart had a trick up his sleeve as Mr. Tall explaining Photosynthesis though a book to the class.<p>

"Guys... I've brought the ultimate cherry bomb to this school, thanks to science." Bart smiled at his seven of his friends during Science.

"Bart! Are you listening!" Mr. Tall spoke. "How can I teach you about how Photosynthesis works with you babbling all the time. You want to pass 5th Grade or not?"

"Yes sir." Bart simply answered.

"I don't know how that Nental guy does it but you are my students and you will LEARN! GOT THAT!" Mr. Tall angrily said.

"Harsh temper he has... I wonder if he's reality's Hulk?" Milhouse thought.

The Science Teacher was about to get back to explaining photosynthesis until he spotted Bart raising his hand, feeling a bit tired of this, he responded anyway.

"Oh.. what is it now, Simpson?" He sighed.

"Can I be excused to the bathroom... my friends needs help coughing out the blood and..."

"Simpson, why do I even bother. I know it's a lie and... Just go ahead." He sighed, landing his forehead against the table, tired of Bart's excuses and pranks.

He was even too tired to see that he was bringing seven friends, not two or three but seven.

* * *

><p>Bart, Nelson, Richard, Lewis, Milhouse, Bashir, and Handy all entered the Boy's Bathroom as Bart was about to show them what he had in his backpack.<p>

"I got this idea when our Science Teacher was angrily teaching us Alkaline Metals exploding just by water. It was like a whole another cherry bomb to me, so I bought the most bad-ass explosive Alkaline Metal ever!" Bart spoke.

He pulled out a small but hard dense metal out of his bag, showing it to his friends, some gasped while others just stood there.

"Francium, boys. The French's Le Explosive." Bart showed them a small piece of metal.

"Isn't that radioactive and unstable?" Bashir asked, a bit worried.

"Plus, that stuff is rare. How the hell did you manage to get a hold of one. What black market did you get it from? Springfield Mafia's? Snake? Moe's Tavern? Where did you get it?"

"EBay." Bart answered.

"Of course! EBay. How could I be so dumb. They almost sell anything there." Handy slapped his forehead, feeling stupid about it.

"So who's ready to send the big one down to the toilet?" Bart smiled near a toilet.

"Dude! You could risk it by killing us all! I say do it for the fun of it!" Handy smiled.

"Tushe. This one's for the U.S!" Bart dropped the Francium into the toilet.

Bart proudly flushed the small Francium and joined his friends who all began saluting to the toilet as they hummed the Star Spangled Banner. Even Nelson had a tear in his eye watching the toilet's water beginning to slowly bubble.

Bart stepped forth and sang, "O! say can you see by the dawn's early light, What so proudly..."

He suddenly stopped singing, feeling the rampantly shaking underneath their feet. The ground was shaking like a pissed off bull, his friends had a hard time maintaining their own balance. It got worst as all the toilets erupted large amounts of water into the air continuously like a geyser.

"Is it supposed to do that?" Milhouse asked.

* * *

><p>Skinner and Chalmers were walking along the school hallway, smiling, feeling that this has turned out quite good than expected.<p>

"Skinner. I'm actually very happy what you've done to this school and... Strange? My 'SKINNER!' senses are tingling..." Chalmers felt very suspicious.

Suddenly they heard something rushing and watery coming behind them and so they turned around and shocked to see a huge flood coming right at them, in the school hallways, carrying children in it.

Skinner angrily called out "OH FOR THE LOVE OF...", only to be interrupted by the flood's inpact.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile outside, Martin was about to enter the school's main entrance<p>

"Oh god... I'm late for school. Hope no one notices." Martin feeling worried.

He then looked up seeing that the school expanded to its limit like a balloon. It was going to explode and Martin only said, "Not again..."

* * *

><p>Meanwhile in the town of Springfield...<p>

"Look! What's that in the sky!" Carl pointed to a large object.

"It appears to be a miniature but still large Mushroom Cloud sir... coming from the... oh no! The school! The children could be endangered sir!" Helen Lovejoy spoke.

"Oh no! My boy is at that school." Chief Wiggum says.

"We better get there quickly." Dr. Hibbert said.

"Were at War Smither's! Quick! Get to the tanks!" Mr. Burns argued.

"But sir... we don't have tanks." Smither's spoke.

"Well than, what's the fanciest Black Market out there?"

"That would be EBay sir." Smither's said.

* * *

><p>Children were injured but still alive, everyone was actually alive but the school was now rubble and surrounded by large puddles of water and wet grass.<p>

"Thank god that the school was originally a Military Fallout Shelter." Skinner said.

"SKIIIINNER!" Chalmers was furious with him again.

"Oh no... please, not this again." Skinner thought.

"Why is it that every time I get here, at the last minute, the whole School is suddenly the world's biggest jungle filled with pranksters and troublemakers!" Chalmers spoke.

"Go ahead..." Skinner sighed.

"Your pay is being cut once again!" Chalmers angrily yelled.

Skinner turned his head somewhere else, there he saw Ralph smiling and sitting in a large puddle of water.

"I wet myself." Ralph said.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Milhouse gasped in shock.<p>

"Oh My God!" Milhouse cried, sitting near the rubble of what was once the school.

Suddenly Lisa heard Milhouse and came to his need as fast as she can, hoping that no one here she knew was hurt.

"What is it! Are you hurt?" Lisa was worried.

Milhouse looked around, seeing how much the Francium did damage to the school... or just rubble. Kids needed to go home and teachers needed to find jobs until the school is rebuild. He only had one thing to say about the destruction of Springfield Elementary.

"I...I...I think I dropped my watch in the toilet." Milhouse said.

"That's all! What about the school! Or the people affected by this!" Lisa asked.

"What about it?" Milhouse replied, having no clue at all.

"ERRR... The whole School is destroyed!" Lisa angrily said.

"Your right. Look at all this." Handy came to Lisa and Milhouse.

"Oh finally! Someone cares." Lisa felt some relief.

"BEST CHERRYBOMB EXPLOSION! EVER!" Handy smiled, high-fiving his friend's hand, Milhouse.

"You got that right!" Milhouse stood up with joy.

"Wait? Cherry bomb explosion! WHO DID THIS!" Lisa angrily gripped onto both Handy's and Milhouse's shirts, looking straight in the eye.

"We will never tell to the likes of you! We stick by each other as sworn friends and..." Handy spoke bravely until he was interrupted.

"IT WAS BART!" Milhouse cried in fear, afraid to face Lisa's punch.

"I should've known..." Lisa dropped the two.

The two landed on the ground as Handy slowly and seriously turned his head to Milhouse, just staring at him.

"What? What did I do?" Milhouse said.

"What the hell kind of friend are you backstabber!" Handy angrily looked at Milhouse.

"What do you expect! I'm Milhouse!" Milhouse tried to reason with him, not wanting to face Handy's punch.

Suddenly a voice was heard and the students and teachers all looked where it came from, a group of parents and adults, the civilians of Springfield.

"Oh... my.. god.. The whole school is destroyed! Are the children safe?" Helen Lovejoy spoke.

"Someone must've planted a bomb into the school. What heartless bastard would've done such a thing to these innocent poor children?" Chief Wiggum spoke.

Milhouse was about to slowly raise his hand, feeling the truth must be told, until he looked at Handy threatening him with an angry gripping fist. The young nerd lowered his hand down in fear just by looking at his unhappy face expression filled with seriousness and silence.

"If someone planted a bomb in our school's than we must tell Mayor Quimby about this. He should know what to do." Moe suggested.

"Good Idea! We should form a mob!" Sideshow Melvin suggested.

* * *

><p>Mayor Quimby was in his office signing some papers until his secretary came in.<p>

"Mayor Quimby, sir. You have an 8 O' Clock appointment with an angry mob." The Mayor's Secretary spoke.

"Again? I just had one two hours ago. Fine let them in..." Quimby spoke.

Two Guards grabbed the knobs and opened the door, letting the mob in who seemed angry.

"Okay Quimby!" Marge spoke angrily. "We..."

"Yes yes! I'm truly sorry about your friend. He was a proud policeman who saved my life. He may have been dead but you can't go around creating mobs so..."

"What are you talking about?" Marge asked in confusion.

"You are Sofia Shell right? Wife of a Hero who recently died protecting me as I reached for a quarter?" Quimby said.

"Uh no... were here because one of Springfield's schools got blown up." Marge spoke.

"Oh! I got the two appointment's mixed up and... I mean.. yes. Well it's quite clear. Someone's trying to send a violent message to us fellow Americans... it's um.. the... uh.. Communist! Yes! The communists are back trying to bring their influence into our culture." Quimby lied.

"Oh my! What are we going to do! These communist can't just go causing trouble! What do we do!" Flanders cried as he and his fellow Springfieldians actually believed the lie.

"Well... we must bring those who are Pro-Communists or Anti-American of disloyalty, subversion, treason, or other crimes and bring them into justice. Has anyone seemed suspicious lately? If it is, they must be communists!" Quimby spoke.

"Excuse me!" Lisa spoke, seeing this rather unreasonable.

"Yes little girl? What is it?"

"You are aware your encouraging McCarthyism. Right?" Lisa said.

"No... I'm uh... encouraging patriotism."

"Accusing innocent people of being communists just because of suspicion and no proof at all is McCarthyism. Your using our fear of Communism and Terrorism to control us." Lisa complained.

"So? Your point?"

"Communism and Terrorism is considered a threat to us Americans but McCarthyism is not the right way. It's like a witch-hunt, accusing people for something there not because of suspicion and fear, no proof at all. The fear from Pearl Harbor, the Cold War, and 9/11 has let the government take control." Lisa spoke, she then turned to the citizens of Springfield. "Step up to the government! Don't be afraid! Do it for your freedom that the patriots and Founding Fathers fought for!"

They looked at her thinking she may have a point until Homer stepped in.

"That sounds like Communist Talk." Homer suspiciously looked at his own daughter.

"So it's er uh agreed! Anyone who seems so suspicious that they must be a communist is sent directly to jail!" Quimby spoke to the mob.

"See Lisa? It's going to be a much safer place by just saying the communists are communist to the police than doing it ourselves." Homer smiled.

"But don't you realize what will happen! People will arouse suspicion on almost everyone, their friends, maybe even family members all due to anti-communism. They're going to accuse someone for who they aren't. Is there even a communist in Springfield?" Lisa argued.

"Look! Just go! I have another appointment." Quimby sighed.

The mob finally left as there problem has been solved by an even greater problem, Quimby was still in his office as his secretary came.

"Someone is here to see you. She's coming right now." The Secretary spoke.

The secretary left and a woman came in saying, "I'm Sofia Shell. You called about my husband angry about an explosion at Springfield Elementary?"

"Explosion? Oh the mix up, this can't be good." Quimby thought.

"Well? Where is he?" Sofia spoke.

"Uh... your husband... er uh... go talk to my secretary about his heroism." Quimby said.

"Heroism?"

* * *

><p>Homer was in his home, the living room, happily as the family came in, to hear his announcement.<p>

"Family! I have successfully made this house very protective in its own way."

"You bought a gun again? Didn't you?" Marge sighed at Homer's crazy antics again.

"Close, but no. I placed some sharp wire, mines at the front lawn and metal doors for safety and I even setup a Sniper Post on the roof so those damn Communist won't get near this place." Homer said.

"Who's manning the post?" Marge asked.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile at The Sniper Post on the roof...<p>

Maggie Simpson held a sniper rifle in her two little hands as she thoroughly cleaned it with a rag. She spotted a mail man come by about to place mail in the mailbox. That was until a warning shot came flying at the ground. The Mailman saw the baby's fierce look and was too afraid to put the mail in, so he just ran away screaming.

"Mhm." Maggie squeaked a job well done.

* * *

><p>"For the love of god! Are there even Communists in Springfield! What is it with everyone!" Lisa said.<p>

"Oh, don't be so sure Lisa. According to one of Al Gore's books, there are sleeper agents still here in America. Apparently the Soviet Union kidnapped Americans, brainwashed them, and the American's are back to a normal life except not knowing that with just a simple password, there brainwashed minds are activated."

"Diddly hellorino friendorino!" Flanders came near an opened window.

"Flanders? How did you got passed the mines. Maybe the wire and metal door, but you must've been lucky." Homer spoke.

"I was just here for a friendly hello but mines... oh, I better go the same path I chose, straight." Flanders said, hoping he won't get hurt.

Just as Flanders took his first step straight away from the house, Homer said, "Wait? Straight? I place lots of mines there too... unless..."

He picked up a Mine Remote realizing "Oh! How stupid of me! I forgot to turn the 'ON' switch!"

"DAD! NO!" Lisa screamed.

"DAD! YES!" Bart smiled.

Just as Homer flipped the Mine's Remotes "ON" switch, Ned Flanders looked at the ground and saw the lawn with red lights blinking everywhere.

"Oh Lord! Protect me!" Ned said.

A second later, The Simpsons watched Ned scream many times as the mines triggered explosions.

"OH MY LEG! MY FINGER! MY DIDDLY DOODLE!" Ned screamed during his painful incident.

Bart was laughing while Lisa just saw this as humiliating.

There were no more mines left to trigger, only Marge to say, "Oh my... he's still alive..."

"I need help! Mines everywhere!" Ned screamed.

The four ran outside and saw Ned Flanders cover in black soot, ripped clothing, and barely survived it.

"Oh my god! Those damn communists now tried to blow up my neighbor!" Homer argued.

"Dad! That was you and... Oh forget it..." Lisa sighed, knowing he would never listen right now.

* * *

><p>"And that's what happened!" Homer yelled.<p>

He stood on a stage before a crowd of Springfieldians at the Town's Square. It was a meeting where Homer explained what just happened as four South Koreans behind him sat on chairs, almost as if they were a part of this meeting too.

"For some reason, Ned is hurt because of those Communists! I don't know how it happened, but it did! Anyway, I have an idea!" Homer spoke.

"Tell us your idea Homer!" Moe yelled.

"Yeah! Give it to us already!" Carl spoke.

"We should build a Demilitarized Zone just like the one in Korea!" Homer yelled.

"Oh... I know this is going to end badly..." Lisa sighed in disappointment.

"Now I hired these four South Koreans to help me combat against this threat! Who's with me!" Homer yelled.

"Wait? You said we were here for an annual Star Craft Competition. Not guarding your little zone here! Have we even gotten that yet?" A South Korean spoke.

"Shut up. You'll get the invitation in the mail." Homer whispered angrily.

* * *

><p>The Springfieldians were in joy that there town was now suddenly surrounded by a dangerous Demilitarized Zone filled with mines, wires and other traps on the other side of an electrical fence run by only four South Koreans. The Simpsons looked at it proudly but Lisa thought, "These people are way too paranoid..."<p>

"Well that take cares of that problem. No communists shall be getting in." Homer said.

"No one will get in because the whole place has been locked down by this large fence!" Lisa argued.

"Oh Lisa, will you ever relaxed?" Bart sighed.

"Relaxed? How are we going to get food and supplied here! You pretty much cut it off! The prison released the most dangerous criminals so they can have enough room for your-so-called "Communists" or hippies and old veterans protesting. People are making a profit off you people through fake Nuclear Proof items."

"Lisa! The shirt never lies!" Homer wore a white shirt with the words of, "Nuclear Proof".

"Will anyone here understand me!" Lisa argued.

"Lisa? What's the problem?" Marge asked.

"My problem is that the town here don't think before they act. You think communists are starting to appear because of these attacks? No! The criminals the prison just released is now having there shoplifting spree while you people are distracted of fears of communism even when Communists hasn't even reached Springfield!" Lisa argued.

"That sounds like Communist Talk..." Homer looked at Lisa suspiciously.

"Why do I bother?" Lisa mumbled.

* * *

><p>Mayor Quimby was in his office until the intercom spoke.<p>

"Sir, this is your secretary. A person just defected from Communism and has agreed to tell us on all the information that these Communist have!" Secretary spoke.

"Good! Where is he?" Quimby spoke.

"At the interrogation room. Were still not sure if he's really defected, so were keeping a close eye. That, and he speaks some kind of alien language." The Secretary spoke.

"My god. I'll be there fast as I can."

* * *

><p>Diamond Joe Quimby entered the interrogation room within a police station. Police were obviously guarding it just so the defector wouldn't escaped and there was even a translator, Eddie, one of the policemen here... however, the defector doesn't really look like a real defector.<p>

"Who the hell are you! Why I am I being held captive here! I'm just visiting the place for fun!" A Chinese Tourist spoke.

"My god! Do. You. Speak. English." Quimby spoke.

"Are you retarded? I'm speaking English right now!" The Chinese Tourist spoke.

"Did you got that? What did he say?" Quimby asked.

"Uh... Honestly, I've learned Chinese all my life and I never heard this language ever." Eddie spoke.

"Okay! Look! A lot of people in the states are starting to notice that your town has gone... let's say... corruptive." The Chinese Tourist spoke.

Suddenly the two began to listen carefully what he had to say.

"Now I know you may see China as a Communist Country but we don't plan to launch Nukes, launch wars, launch anything. Okay! Don't be taking stupid decisions just because of your paranoid thinking. Okay?" He spoke in perfect English.

"Yeah, what's he saying?" Quimby asked.

"You people are really idiots." The Chinese Tourists spoke.

Suddenly Lisa came bursting through the door with a stack of papers in her hands.

"What the? What are you doing here? How did you got passed security?" Quimby asked.

"What Security?" Lisa spoke.

"Oh never mind. What are you doing here?" He asked.

"I have here a petition from several people who are starting see this McCarthyism as a bad idea. I want this whole thing to end, NOW." Lisa was serious.

"And what if I don't?" Quimby stubbornly asked.

"Than I have to show this video of you hijacking a boat to Hawaii." Lisa held a tape, snickering at Quimby.

"Showing a tape? I don't understand why would I need a tape to convince me to..."

"You do understand what blackmail is, right?" Lisa sighed.

"Yes. Blackmail is when someone... Oh, your blackmailing me." Quimby just realized what's happening here.

"Yes. Either end this reign of terror or let the people of Springfield see what were you doing when you were on an so-called "Important Washington D.C." trip." Lisa demanded Quimby to give in.

"Oh... oh fine, but these people are paranoid. They've been stuck under this influence you know." Quimby spoke.

"This is Springfield. They pretty much get influenced by anything they see." Lisa spoke.

"Err... Fine... but you have to do the speech!" Quimby yelled.

Quimby and the policeman stepped out of the interrogation room as the Chinese Tourist stood up.

"Thank You Little Girl. I guess not all Americans are idiots." He spoke.

"That stereotype is around because of the government. It's run by idiots who don't know what they're doing. At first a war has it's point but then it starts expanding to several pointless bad reasons that make no sense."

"Thank you Lisa, by showing that the real idiots here are almost every US Politicians, whether they are Democratic or Republican. There's probably are some good US Politicians who prefer the people over the government but they rarely get any attention. Let's hope they can and undo the mistakes that America has done... or at least cause the least problems." The Chinese Tourist spoke.

"You sure speak a lot of freedom for being born into China." Lisa said.

"Yes I have seen so much influences in many countries that I have explored. I even once considered of bringing a few animals over in China." He said.

"That's good." Lisa smiled.

"Uh.. well no. It turns out that these introduced species overpopulated and ate all our crops... shouldn't have went to Australia and picked up a bull frog. But they moved onto to another country. It's India's problem now. Bad for them that there Hindu, they can't kill the animal like we did." He spoke.

* * *

><p>Lisa was standing before the crowd of civilians reading a speech at the town hall, telling them how wrong McCarthyism is.<p>

"During the years of the Cold War, we were afraid, fearing that the Soviet Union, a threat to America's Way of Life would eventually lead to its downfall. People made sure this wouldn't happened, but some went too far. A man named Joseph McCarthy suggest that anyone is a communist is a dead communist. He started McCarthyism that looked promising only to lead innocent Americans, accused of being the enemy, and thrown into jail, losing their jobs and friends. McCarthyism is an ideal that what our fear lead us. Step up, people. Don't let the Government control you. The People should control the government. I am Lisa Simpson, thank you."

Suddenly everyone applauded in joy feeling that the speech was true to what everything here happened. They were suddenly happy that it was finally over, until out of nowhere, a man yelled out, "THE 99CENTS STORE IS BANKRUPT!"

"OH NO!" One Person screamed. "IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!" Another Person screamed. "NOW WHERE WILL I GET MY GOOD-DEALS!" A Woman screamed.

Suddenly everyone was in panic that the 99Cents Store got bankrupt, meanwhile Bart and Milhouse went to Lisa, wondering what she thought of this.

"Springfield is its usual. Glad their not being overeactive about communism anymore." Lisa sighed.

"Don't be sure. Like I said, there might be a Sleeper agent around here." Bart spoke.

"Yeah, there might be one right now." Milhouse said.

"Bart. There are no such things as Sleeper Agents. Or how they say in French. 'Sleeper Dormant'." Lisa spoke.

Suddenly Milhouse reacted to those words, and walked away slowly like a puppet.

"What's with him?" Bart asked.

Milhouse went to a telephone booth, placed a quarter in, dialed some numbers silently.

"Commence The Attack, French?" Milhouse spoke.

"THAT WAS YEARS AGO! GO HOME KID!" A French yelled at him.

* * *

><p>(I THINK WE JUST FORGOT SOMETHING...)<p>

Ned Flanders was about to walk to The Simpson's house until out of nowhere, a warning shot came flying near his feet to the ground.

"I'll... I'll just leave... now." Ned spotted Maggie at the Sniper Post.


	5. Reign of The Mega KwikEMart

If you are a hardcore Simpsons Fan, than you probably heard of the Obliteraron

Opening Gag - A NASA Space Shuttle Comes flying through the sky.

Billboard Gag - "Hate SOPA? You too can stop the death of the Internet."

Chalkboard Gag - "It's pronounced War Horse, not War Hoarder.", "It's pronounced War Horse, not War Hoarder.", "It's pronounced War Horse, not War Hoarder."

Couch Gag - The Simpsons walk smoothly to the couch Godfather Style in a 1970's Mafia Feel to the house.

Ep 54 - S02E04 Date - Jan. 22 2012

**Reign of The Mega Kwik-E-Mart**, Synopsis - Abe buys a particular vehicle you don't see on the streets everyday and takes Homer and his family a drive to the Kwik-E-Mart, only to find it becoming a super market causing various problems around Springfield as it gains wealth. Can the Mega Kwik-E-Mart Be stopped?

* * *

><p>Abe Simpson, mad as ever, waited in the Governor's Office wanting answers, staring him face to face to discuss a certain issue..<p>

"Well Mr. Simpson. It's clear you have a reason to be angry that you haven't been receiving your Retirement Veteran Checks for the last ten years. How did you know again?" The Governor asked.

"It started when I notice that my friends had retirement checks, I thought it was a bit weird that they had checks and then a robber's crowbar hit me!" Abe spoke angrily. "I just remembered that I served in the military!"

"Okay than. Though there are still a matter of things to discuss about your pay and..."

_"_Quit the chit chat! I want full pay of every check missed!" A furious Abe demanded.

"Okay... well... according to us that's a billion dollars but I'm ready to prepare a deal. You can either have your billion dollar check or..."

"The Mystery Box! The Mystery Box! What's in the Mystery Box!" Abe yelled out.

"Simpson. As the government we don't do the whole mystery box thing where you suddenly get nothing from it, that's corporations. Now you can either have the billion dollar check or you can pick one thing from the Top Secret Government Warehouse."

Abe thought about considering the deal and so he decided, "Hmm... Okay, but I first want to take a look before I make a deal."

* * *

><p>Abe and the Governor stood before a large vault known as the Government Warehouse, there the words of a computer, "Voice Activation please", sounded throughout the place.<p>

The Governor turned towards Abe and said, "Now Simpson. This is a very complex password that not even you can remember. The Password is Password."

"ACCESS DENIED." The Computer spoke.

"Umm... is it Complex Password?" Abe said.

"Access Granted." The Computer said.

The Vault opened and the two took a step in. To the governor, it was just another top secret place, to Abe Simpson, it was an enormous room with a whole new surprise to him. There he saw prototype cyborg of Politicians, the only flag in the world with Delaware on it, freeze rays, everything you don't usually see in daily life.

"We got everything Simpson. A recovered UFO space ship, the map to Atlantis, early prototypes of Nuclear Missiles, be careful if you're going to get that Simpson. Simpson?" The Governor spotted Abe near a prototype Nuclear Missile in its Silo.

"What does this do?" Abe held some kind of detonator with the Nuclear Symbol on it.

"Simpson! Don't press..."

"STARTING NUCLEAR MISSILE LUNCH." The Computer spoke.

Suddenly the huge silo released an unusual missile into the sky, breaking through the enormous warehouse's ceiling.

"Oh god! You started the... wait? Lunch? It's Launch. That's not how it's pronounced." The Governor said.

"Where do you suppose it goes?" Abe asked.

* * *

><p>In Space No One Can Hear You Laugh, but meanwhile the ISS was finally finished.<p>

"Oh finally! After all the disasters that kept on destroying this thing, we've finally finished the..." The American Astronaut said.

"Hold on! Have you notice that every time we finished the ISS a catastrophe that occurs seems to be coming from some town called Springfield." The Japanese Astronaut said.

"You mean like that missile lunching right at us?" The Canadian pointed to a Prototype Nuclear Missile.

"Oh god! Why! WHY! WHYYYY... Wait? Lunch? I thought it was pronounced launch." The American Astronaut whined.

"Take Cover in Impact!" The Canadian yelled.

Just as the Prototype Nuclear Missile reached to the ISS, it simply touched the metal layer.

"I don't hear any explosion." The Japanese said.

All three of them looked at the Missile from the left and nothing happened.

"Huh? Must be a dud." The American Astronaut said.

"That was a close one. Let's go get some cake inside." The Canadian spoke.

As the three entered the ISS, several beeping sounds came within the missile. What they didn't realized that they only looked at the left side of the missile, not the right side where it had a timer of three seconds attached to it.

* * *

><p>"Come over here Simpson. Here's some old antiques you might like." The Governor said below the hole on the ceiling.<p>

"Okay." Abe replied without looking at a tiny explosion appearing faraway in the sky.

"We got World War II Vehicles if you like." The Governor spoke, but he notice that Abe was gone again. "Simpson?"

"Oh my god!" Abe's voice was heard throughout the warehouse.

"What? What is it?" The Governor heard his voice.

The Governor searched Abe in this vast warehouse thinking, _"elderly people these _days", but then stopped within a few minutes, spotting Abe staring at a particular vehicle, one you shouldn't be driving on the road.

"What is it Simpson?" The Governor wondered what's wrong.

There was nothing wrong, Abe was actually happy. It was an old rusty old Monster Truck with the name, "Obliteratron" on the back. Even if it was rusty, you could still see the blend of purple and green style on it.

"This is old Obliteratron. The first Monster Truck ever to be made in Springfield in the 1980's. That's when elderly me and my son in his twenties had something to enjoy at besides me fighting crime." Abe said.

"You fought crime?" The Governor was surprised.

"Yes. I was the Crimson Cockatoo. I even have a newspaper." Abe revealed to the Governor an old newspaper with the headlines, "Crimson Cockatoo Gives Stalin The Bird.", showing an old black and white picture of Abe Simpson as the Crimson Cockatoo punching Stalin in the right cheek bone as he flipped the bird at him in front of many Russians.

"Well... if you want. I can give to you for free. Heck, the government will even fix, polish, and clean up that old monster truck. What do you say?" The Governor smiled.

"This is the best deal from the Government since they decided to outlaw hippies." Abe smiled with a tear in his eye.

"Yeah. I mean, can you imagine a world where the Government isn't in power?" The Governor spoke.

Suddenly Abe imagined what would it be like if Governor's weren't in power, suddenly the image of several people holding hands joyfully as they sang along, "You Are My Starshine" together.

"Oh god. That's horrible!" Abe said.

* * *

><p>Homer and Marge were in bed sleeping as morning sun's rose peacefully during the chirping's of birds and crickets cricketing. Everyone was dreaming in peace, especially Homer.<p>

There Homer drooled in his sleep peacefully saying, "_Oh baby... that is so hot... yeah, give me that hamburger, all greased up and some french-fries, deep fried don't forget Duff, icy cold and refreshing and..."_

Suddenly the disturbing sound of huge tires backing up woke The Simpsons. Marge was the first to wake up, yawning for more sleep, "Oh... what's that noise?".

"Just ignore it. More sleep." Homer said.

Suddenly the sound of several tools, wood, supplies, the garage itself sounded like it just got demolished. It was louder than the tires.

"Homer! That sounded like the garage. We should go check it out." She said.

"Ooh! But Fastfood Dream!" Homer whined.

"Homer!" Marge reacted.

"Oh. Oh fine." Homer mumbled several times under his breath.

* * *

><p>Homer and Marge looked out the window, gasped in shocked to see what just destroyed their garage.<p>

"Oh my god! It's a monster!" Homer yelled.

"Homer, that's a Monster Truck. It's so loud, you can hear the engine all the way from here." Marge spoke.

Suddenly Abe stepped out of the newly polished Monster Truck, no rust at all, just clean purple and green to it with the words, "Obliteratron" on it as it was under the rubble of what was once the garage.

"Oh no! Now there's two of those monsters!" Homer pointed at Old Wrinkly Abe.

"Get your lazy butt down here you ungrateful son of mine!" Abe yelled.

* * *

><p>The whole Simpsons Family stood before it, surprised and shocked still to see old elderly Abe owning a Monster Truck.<p>

"You got this truck from the government?" Lisa asked, unsure that he actually got it from the Governor.

"Hey. This is the first monster truck in Springfield. He's the Truck-O-Saurus of our time you know. The Big Wheels of Springfield. The Speed of the Century." Abe argued.

"Well... why did you destroyed our garage?" Marge asked, wondering, _Why In The World Did You Do That?_

"I was trying to park it in the garage but now I found out that it only fits automobiles. Typical Drivers. Now come on. Let's all take a trip to the Kwik-E-Mart. It'll be fun riding in a heck of a truck." Abe smiled, trying to convince them.

"I am so in!" Homer smiled

"Me too! Let me just change." Bart ran back inside, to get his usual red t-shirt and shorts.

"Is it even legal to have it on the road?" Lisa was worried.

"Of course it's legal, unless if you remembered that this was also the same and only truck responsible for crashing into a crowd of people resulting in many lawsuits, but you can't agree with them." Abe said.

"But dad, I was in that crowd too. You sued the owners and used it for booze money." Homer said.

"Just get in the truck before I change my mind." Abe, annoyed of Homer's attitude.

* * *

><p>It's traffic in Springfield meaning cars had to slow down due to construction. Abe Simpson, angry of this traffic, more than Homer and his Family, sat in his Monster Truck that took up two lanes of the road. There the elderly old man thought , "<em>Err... Of all the places there has to be traffic? Not on my watch!<em>"

"What are you doing?" Lisa was worried as Abe began pushing the gas.

"Taking the easy way." Abe said.

Abe rode "The Obliteratron" crushing almost all vehicles in its path as Homer and Bart yelled, "This is so much better than a video game." while Marge, Lisa, and Maggie thought, _Hrmmm..._, in worry. Fortunately all the insurance drivers and passengers manage to escape from their car's impending doom.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, an old rusty white Ford stood in traffic as well, the driver there was Ol' Gil tired of his old life who thought, <em>Time To Start A New<em>.

Gil felt like he needed to adjust his mirrors saying, "Better adjust these carefully if I want no trouble."

As Gil was adjusting his dusty mirrors, he saw the reflection of a big Monster Truck coming this way already leaving a trail of destroyed cars.

"Oh no! Why Ol' Gil?" Gil had to get out of the car.

He took his seatbelt off within a second, kicked the doors opened, and leaped out of the driver's seat to safety! He landed to the ground and saw his car being crushed by the tires of a monster truck, but he was actually happy by the sight of it.

"Oh goody! My insurance will cover this! Ol' Gil is going to eat tonight!" Ol' Gil saw this as a good thing.

* * *

><p>At the Kwik-E-Mart, the Simpsons now had to find a parking spot. There were several free spaces individually but none were a couple of parking spaces combined for the Monster Truck's size.<p>

"What do we do? There's not enough space." Lisa said.

"Will make space." Abe simply replied.

Abe simply drove the Monster Truck on top of two cars, crushing them in the parking process as an alarm came out of the two cars.

"That's a bit barbaric don't you think?" Lisa said.

"What I did back there was more barbaric than this and you didn't even said a word." Abe replied.

* * *

><p>The Simpsons headed to the Kwik-E-Mart to have a snack and pick up a few groceries too, but just as they reached to their destination, they saw a crowd of Springfieldians in the way.<p>

"What's going on?" Marge asked.

"You didn't hear? The Mega Kwik-E-Mart is having its grand opening in two more minutes." Lenny said.

"A Super Store? How did they build it so fast?" Marge said.

"It's not so hard." Mr. Burns walked towards to them. The Richest and Most Evil Man who ever lived in Springfield due to Nuclear Power and not only that he has known to be responsible for the Titanic, Amelia Earhart's Plane, and his latest most evil deed, blocking out the sun.

There also stood Smither's next to him, his assistant who seemed like your normal employee but has a few secrets of his own.

Homer looked at his boss, scared saying, "Um... what are you doing here..."

"I own this Kwik-E-Mart now. All it takes is money and power, than you just sneak a hundred North Koreans into the US and have them building the place for only half a dollar. Cheap, Cheap Labor." He grinned. "Don't you agree?"

"Uh... yes.." Hoping he won't get fired.

"Good. I like you.. uh.. Smither's. Who is that man?" Mr. Burns turned towards Smither's.

"That's Homer Simpson Sir. Fellow Goofball Employee of Sector 7-G." Smither's said.

"Ah Yes! Homer Simpson." Burns turned back to Homer. "Why, enjoy yourself, two minutes have already past. Go on. Go on!"

"Enjoy yourself? Enjoy yourself? This store is an abomination!" Apu stepped in the conversation.

"I thought I'd fired you!" Mr. Burns angrily looked at Apu.

"You fired Apu?" Lisa looked directly at Burns, feeling a bit angry that Burns selfishly fired Apu.

"Yes he has! This greedy man has fired me and I bet this is a part of some scam, like every million dollar scam you pulled. No one will buy into your money scheme. Believe me!" Apu angrily argued.

Just as two minutes passed, the doors opened and suddenly Apu disappointingly watched every citizen of Springfield flooding into the store for their needs.

"I guess I'll go get a job at the Kwik-E-Mart at the bad part of town." Apu headed away from the market.

"I feel sorry for Apu and he's most likely right about Mr. Burns. " Lisa watched Apu left in bitterness. "I'm going to talk to Apu, cheer him up a bit."

"Look at her. Trying to cheer up the poor man after he got fired and knows what Mr. Burns is usually up to these days... Well. More food for us." Homer whistled peacefully to the store as his family looked at him, feeling unjust of this.

* * *

><p>"This Super Market is pretty large." Homer walked into Aisle 112#. "Where can I find the donuts. Excuse me sir." He spotted Squeaky Voice Teen working here.<p>

"What is it sir?" The Squeaky Voice Teen asked.

"Where can I find the donuts?" Homer said.

"I don't know. I just started to work here. Do you know how hard it is to find the right size of bra for my grandma?" The Squeaky Voiced Teen spoke.

"Eww..." Homer, disgusted of what he heard.

* * *

><p>Marge was in Aisle 63# looking for spices, there she spotted, Kearney, one of the bullies of Springfield Elementary, as an employee working here.<p>

"Excuse me but do you know where the spices are. I'm having a hard time finding it in such a vast store." Marge said.

"Nope but have you tried one of our non-food departments?" Kearney said.

"I just want spice." Marge replied.

"We have electronic stores, carpentry stores, everything you want."

"I just. Want. Spices." Marge spoke bitterly, feeling a bit annoyed.

"Oh come on. We have shampoo and perfume that all woman would love." Kearney said.

"I said. I just want. Spices."

"But we have a large range of products here." Kearney said.

Marge sighed, feeling that she can't leave him feeling unwanted but she also felt that this was just annoying just for some product.

* * *

><p>In Aisle 73#, Abe needed help finding some soap.<p>

"Excuse me young lady." Abe spotted Jimbo working here.

"Lady? Who you calling lady old man." Jimbo raised his fist for a fight.

"Really? I thought you were a lady because of your hippie like hair." Abe said.

"Hippie? Oh, you are so dead!" Jimbo said.

"You can't say that to any elders. That's disrespectful." Abe said.

"Watch me old timer." Jimbo said.

Jimbo ran towards Abe, and punched him in the jawbone. Abe fell to the ground as he was being beaten several times by Jimbo saying, "Ahh! That Hurts! Ooh! Ow! I'll Get You For this You! Ow! Not the kidneys! Why You... Ahh! Help! Teenagers are attacking me for the seventh or eleventh time!"

* * *

><p>Mr. Burns watched from his office through a window grinning at every customer he saw as Smither's stood behind him with papers.<p>

"Excuse me sir, but your Super Market is running really well with some problems." Smither's said.

"Problems? What kind of problems?" Mr. Burn turned his head angrily to Smither's.

"Well, it's the usual in every super market. Making the customer feel a bit... uncomfortable. There have been complaints of annoying advice on non-food department products, long lines at the cashier, disrespect from the teenage employees, and having a hard time finding products in a vast store." Smither's said.

"So what? Who cares about the customer? They may have complaints but they still leech off this store, fueling their money into these expensive products. Heh heh. Everything is going as planned. Once I have enough money, I will fund it into SOPA, the One Percent Group, and Corporate TV Networks! It's all going as planned." Burns grinned.

"Well everything but one thing." Smither's said. "Apparently you hid some nuclear waste under this Market?"

"So what. As long as no one finds out, I won't be going to jail. Now leave me be." Mr. Burns said.

Smither's left the room and then the old greedy man turned his head back to every customer he saw through the window, imagining every one of these customers as dollar bills.

"_There's George Washington_." Mr. Burns thought. "_And Ben Franklin. Old Abe Lincoln. And Bill Clinton... Wait? Bill Clinton?"_

A Bill Clinton Dollar walked up to a chick and said, "This Dollar Needs A Room!", blinking his eye at Mr. Burns.

Mr. Burns rubbed his eyes, and looked again seeing everyone back to normal, but no Bill Clinton?

"The Age must be getting to me." Mr. Burns spoke.

"I'll say." The Bill Clinto Dollar spoke behind Mr. Burns.

"Oh no!" Mr. Burns was afraid.

"In Politics. No One Can Hear Scream!" The Dollar Bill held a bat in his hand.

"W..Why does a Politician need a bat?"

"Don't like to get my hands dirty." He said.

* * *

><p>Kent Brockman sat at a table holding papers in his hands ready to spread the message LIVE from the Channel 6's Studio Lot.<p>

"This is Kent Brockman on Channel 6's Smartline News. Apparently the Evil Billionaire, Mr. Burns has not only responsible for a disrespectful super market that no longer goes 24 hours a day, but is also the reason of many businesses going bankrupt such as small businesses such as shoes and watches to big business such as.. wait? KrustyLu Studios. This can't be right" Kent was unexpectedly unhappy with this. "Channel 6's Studio Lot is located in KrustyLu Studios and Smartline is one of it's programs. That means Smartline is cancelled. That means I'm fired."

Suddenly Mr. Burns stepped into the program and said, "Hello their viewers. I plan to expand my Mega Kwik-E-Mart into the biggest super market you have ever seen. In order to do that I must of course beat the competition and don't worry. I'll buy the place because the Mega Kwik-E-Mart is the entire Business District. Don't worry about your jobs. You can all work for me as employees picking up scraps and plastics from the ground for two dollars an hour. I mean... who else is going to put the bread on the table?" Mr. Burns grinned evilly.

* * *

><p>"... Who Else Is Going To Put the Bread on the table?" Mr. Burns spoke on television.<p>

With a flick of a button from the remote, the TV turned off and Lisa was angry at this as Homer was too lazy to get off the couch.

"How could he do this! He's so heartless! First he blocks out the sun and now he gets thousands of jobless people to work for him when they had better jobs before at better working hours?" Lisa argued.

"What can I do? I'm only one man." Homer said.

"Martin Luther King was one man." Lisa replied.

"Hmm... he was? Well... what can I still do?" Homer asked.

"Oh.. that's alright. We can't do anything though, even though what's he doing is very wrong, it's still legal." Lisa sighed.

"It's not so bad. I still got my job." Homer said.

"Yeah but your favorite places such as Moe's Tavern, the Duff Factory, and the Kwik-E-Mart. All gone!" Lisa argued.

"Even Lard Lad's Donuts?" Homer cried.

"Yep. Even Lard Lad's Donuts." Lisa said.

"AHHH!"He screamed. "We got to stop Mr. Burn."

"We could file a petition or boycott the mart." Lisa said.

"What? Those peaceful solutions never work. I mean look at Martin Luther King. He shot every racist he could find with guns and said, "Your going down fool" Mr. T style. That's why I'm going with heavy Mad Max Violence!" Homer stood up. "But we need a vehicle..."

Then he spotted the Obliteratron outside the window.

"Hmmm..." Homer had an idea, thinking, "_I could use the Monster Truck... TO DESTROY FLANDER'S HOUSE! HAH HAH!_"

"_No you fool! Use it to destroy the Mega Kwik-E-Mart... Than destroy Flanders's house... No one will ever suspect it was us..._" Homer's Mind thought.

"_Yes. That does sound good. What would Martin Luther King do?_" Homer thought.

Homer suddenly had another one of his imaginations, but this time it took place at the Lorraine Hotel... Martin Luther King Jr. was standing peacefully getting ready for a speech, but suddenly out of nowhere an Assassin appeared with a rifle.

"Die you!" The Assassin aimed the rifle to Martin Luther King Jr.

"Not on my watch!" Homer appeared behind the curtains, punching him right on the cheek bone, knocking him to the ground.

"You kick him in the groin, I'll punch him in the face." Martin Luther King Jr. said.

"Yes sir!" Homer saluted him.

Suddenly the two started beating the heck out of the assassin, regretting what he tried to do.

Back in reality, Homer chuckled a bit saying, "Martin Luther King Jr. 10, Racist Bastards 0".

"What?" Lisa didn't get it at all.

"Shush Lisa. Martin Luther King Jr. is speaking to me." Homer said.

* * *

><p>Homer and Bart stood beside the finest men that he could afford, blackmail, and convince. There was Otto who stood beside a School Bus known to withstand Old People on the road and Public Property, Moe who stood beside his green sedan with a pink daisy on the hood, known for insurance and insurance fraud, than there stood Clancy Wiggum and Ralph Wiggum who stood beside the police car, known to cause more death's than it saves, and finally Apu.. wait? Where's Apu.<p>

"Hey. That's a good point Narrator. Where is Apu?" Homer said.

"Homer. Your talking to yourself again." Moe said.

"Well... where is Apu?" Homer asked.

Suddenly the ground shook and tremble as the might of a vehicle appeared to their very eyes. A vehicle manned by Apu himself, a vehicle thought to never be seen again and yet it's shadow rose over them to their shock.

"Meet the Obliteratron of this time, you small little ants!" Apu smiled.

* * *

><p>Mr. Burns and Smither's were on the roof of the Mega Kwik-E-Mart, watching joyfully over the town seeing business by business being bankrupt each minute.<p>

"Ahh, Smither's. Isn't it wonderful that these lollygaggers can't stand a chance against this impressive established store I call the Super Market?" Burns smiled.

"Yes but you must be careful sir. The town won't stand for it." Smither's replied in worry.

"Pish Posh. I survived this town for over a hundred and three years. What makes you think that their going to do it again and... say? What are those four cars doing there, just standing in front of my store as if they were confronting me or something." Mr. Burns spotted a monster truck, a bus, a sedan, and a police car at the parking lot.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile at the parking lot, there stood four cars driven by four drivers all angry at what this market has done. Homer descended the window down and yelled out at the other drivers, "Okay! Who's the best at acting around here!"<p>

"That would be my son, Ralph." Clancy Wiggum spoke through the door's window.

"Here catch!" Homer picked up a megaphone, and tossed it towards Clancy.

Chief Wiggum managed to catch it and said to his son, "Here ya go boy. Make this town proud."

"I'm an Acktar." Ralph smiling as usual, the naive boy received the megaphone from his father and at first had no idea what to say.

"This better be worth it. Don't screw it up kid." Moe spoke, gripping his hands to the wheel.

Ralph looked at his father and said, "What am I supposed to say?"

"Just say that they can leave peacefully so we won't have to resort to violence. That simple." Clancy smiled back.

Ralph placed his mouth to the megaphone and spoke in a tough guy accent, "Just Walk Away, Just Walk Away. You can put a stop to all this. Just walk away. And we will spare your lives. Just Walk Away."

"That's some good Mad Max Acting boy." Clancy said.

* * *

><p>At the roof, Mr. Burns saw this as a threat thinking, "<em>They want a war eh? Well a war is what they're going to get!"<em>

"Smither's! Bring in the tactical defenses!" Mr. Burns demanded with an iron fist.

"Uh... sir. We don't have tactical defenses. Remember the Arms Treaty Sir." Smither's said.

"Blast those Super Powers back than!"

Suddenly the roof shaken as Burns spotted all four cars ramming into the wall of the store repeatedly. Burns and Smither's were losing their balance a bit but Burns just smiled saying, "There going to need more power than that to take this down!"

"That's where I come in!" A Hindu Voice struck their ears.

"Oh dear lord." Smither's spotted the most unusual vehicle they have ever seen.

It was Truck-O-Saurus with Apu at the driver's seat.

"AHH! SMITHERS!" Burns yelled.

"AHH! MR. BURNS!" Smither's yelled.

The next minute later, the Truck-O-Saurus swing it's tail into the Super Market crumbling half of it to the ground. THe customers stood there who once shopped hours and hours now reacted, "Oh my god! The curse has been lifted!"

* * *

><p>Homer's Family and every Citizen in Springfield was thanking Homer, Apu, Moe, Clancy Wiggum, and especially Ralph for his acting talent, sparking joy but one person. Mr. Burns, the hate-filled man who saw this as a disaster while Homer and his Family saw this as an end to Mr. Burns's money scam.<p>

"Why you! This is an outrage!" Mr. Burns walked through the crowd, and confronted Homer face to face. "You committed a crime against my business and so help me you will be sent to jail!"

"What! You can't do that!" Homer replied.

"Yeah! He stopped your evil rampage." Bart added.

"Yes I can." Burns replied. "After all, I didn't do a single crime involving the super market I..."

"Hey look everybody!" Lenny pointed towards a green glowing substance under the rubble of the Mega Kwik-E-Mart. "There's Nuclear Waste under all this rubble! He has committed a crime!"

"Why? What?" Mr. Burns was nervous just as every Springfieldians looked at him angry. "Okay... I know hiding Nuclear Waste Material under a super market filled with millions of customers is... irrational but I'm sure we could work this out."

"Chief Wiggum. Take this horrible man to where he belongs!" Marge seriously but gladly spoke.

"Yeah, in Jail that is, Mr. Burns." A Serious Clancy Wiggum handcuffed Mr. Burns's wrist without fooling around one bit.

"Don't I get to call my lawyer?" Mr. Burns asked, not happy about this one second of his lifetime.

"You watch too many documentaries." Chief Wiggum replied.

Chief Wiggum quickly escorted the evil billionaire to the police car as Homer had to say something.

"I think we all should learn that crime doesn't pay." Homer said.

"What are you talking about? You and your friends illegally destroyed the Mega Kwik-E-Mart." Lisa said next to Marge and Bart.

"Okay, than we pretty much learn nothing than! Are you happy now Lisa!" Homer argued angrily.

Lisa just sighed and walk away as Homer said, "Fine! Who needs you! I have the Obliteratron!"

"Actually that's my Obliteratron!" Abe angrily swiped the car keys from Homer.

"Oh well... At least I still have my dignity." Homer said.

"Yeah you still have your dignity Homer." Bart replied.

"Yep, dad." Lisa said.

"Aw. You guys are the best. Let's all go get a treat along the way." Homer smiled back at his family.

The family went joyfully, smiling at each other, chatting a bit about the positive sides of life, just as the sun was setting in peace, it was a family moment when they still felt a warm bliss, walking to a nearby Convenience Store just as Bart was chuckling at the back of Homer's head with the words, "El Barto" on it.

* * *

><p>(WHAT HAPPENED TO THE OBLITERATRON?)<p>

"This is Kent Brockman rehired after Mr. Burns evil takeover. "Kent spoke on Channel 6's Smart Line. "Anyway, for current news, Mr. Flanders's house was destroyed last night by an unknown vehicle that left unusually large tire tracks last night and a few bumper stickers with "Property Of Homer Simpson". Who's the culprit? Why none other than the owner of a monster truck, Big Foot, Bob Chandler. He is now being interrogated and put in to jail without an lawyer as we speak."

Meanwhile... at Springfield Jail...

"I'm innocent I tell you! I was framed!" Bob Chandler spoke.

"Uh-huh. Get in their you!" Clancy Wiggum pushed Bob Chandler into the prison cell.

"So? They got you too eh?" Mr. Burns said.

"You think I'm still not done with you?" The Bill Clinton Dollar appeared with a bat again.

"Oh god! Not you again!" Mr. Burns cried.

"Who are you talking to?" Bob Chandler asked.


	6. Krustosfki Sitting In A Tree

(READ THIS!) Sorry for not updating for some time. It will soon be Valentine's Day and Springfield Tales Season 2 had a new objective. To explore Springfield, to center around various Characters, Locations, and Popular Simpson References, new and old, those who haven't been seen for a long time will make an appearance. I wish to do that and this is one of them. For this story, a Character that has not been seen since Season 3 appears and I have added three old locations from the series in this fanfic. Two of them is a classic, one happen to serve pizza and the other happens to be a movie theater, that's just a hint, read the story to find out. So remember, Springfield Tales Season 2 is aiming to explore Springfield.

* * *

><p><span>Opening Gag<span> - The ISS Comes Falling Down From The Sky, Again

Billboard Gag - "Thinking about not having a fourth or fifth child due to bills? Don't worry! Get some lethal dose of radiation!" says Mr. Burns

Chalkboard Gag - "OMG! 500th Episode Coming Soon!", "OMG! 500th Episode Coming Soon!" "OMG! 500th Episode Coming Soon!"

Couch Gag - The Simpsons run to the couch through a racing track during the Olympics.

Ep 55 - S02E05 Date - Feb 12. 2012

**Krustofski Sitting in A Tree**, Synopsis - Krusty has to deal with another divorce, the mafia, and a few more problems. Luckily Lois Pennycandy, his secretary (Since Season 3), comes to help him out. Though things start to take a turn when Krusty realizes a strange feeling in him. Could it be love?

* * *

><p>It was a beautiful morning on Valentine's Day, a time to let feelings bloom, to feel the wind against the skin, to watch TV continously and sitting on the couch... That was The Simpsons alright...<p>

"Thanks Homey for the roses you bought." Marge smiled.

"And thank you for the new Duffman Gadget Belt you bought me." Homer smiled, wearing a belt of many gadgets such as Duffbombs, Duffarang's, Duffpowder, and Duff Beer. "Isn't this wonderful? The whole family here just..."

"Dad. The TV Commercials are over. Krusty the Klown Show is back on." Bart responded.

"Oh... Okay than."

* * *

><p>Meanwhile at Krustylu's Studios...<p>

It was a special studio lot here at Krustylu's Studios, almost like a Circus... children laughing, the camera on air, and the large red curtains moved aside revealing Krusty who jumped into the ring smiling, "Wow!"

"Was that a great Itchy and Scratchy Episode or what! Itchy using diamond ear rings to poke holes through Scratchy! Just Wow!" Krusty smiled at the audience. "Come here Sideshow Mel!"

"Yes Krusty?" Sideshow Mel stepped into the show, smiling about the next act.

"Who wants to see him get blown out of a cannon!" Krusty smiled.

Suddenly Sideshow Mel's smiled changed to a frown, instantly.

Krusty awaited the audience's obvious answer, and so he said "I said who?"

"WE DO!" All the children shouted in joy.

"Krusty... The doctor says I can't do another..." Sideshow Mel whispered, but Krusty responded otherwise.

"Sorry Sideshow Mel, but the audience have spoken!" Krusty smiled.

"Ugh..." Mel simply responded.

Just behind the left of the Red Curtains, Krusty's Secretary, Lois Pennycandy smiled at the act as Sideshow Mel was flown out of a cannon into the air screaming for his life. Than he landed to the ground with several bruises.

"Ugh... Why do I bother..." Sideshow Mel sighed to himself, staring at each and every child laughing.

Ms. Pennycandy also chuckled a bit to herself, despite seeing this act a million times already... then Mr. Teeny, a Chimpanzee who smokes and knows the tough meaning of show business, came. He was carrying a letter, it was for Pennycandy, what could it be?

"Thank you Teeny." Ms. Pennycandy received the letter..

Mr. Teeny wondered what it was for as she read word by word. It was a letter from an much bigger company, Multiversal Studios from Capitol City. She read the rest carefully and said, "Job Offer?"

* * *

><p>After the show, Krusty lighted a cigar in the hallway walking alongside with Mr. Teeny, Tina Ballerina, Corporal Punishment, Sideshow Mel, and his secretary, Lois Pennycandy.<p>

"Oh god. My Valentine Special Show sure tired me out." Krusty sighed. "You know, I'm lucky having guys like you."

"Aw." Sideshow Mel said, "Krusty, you'll always be a..."

"Shut up! I wasn't finish!" Krusty's bitter side was turning up. "Anyway, I'm lucky, as you've guys always been there. Especially you Pennycandy."

"Aw.. thanks..." Ms. Pennycandy replied.

"No kidding, You've stick by my side for over Thirty Years. Bailed me out of jail, loan me money during hard times, and you've even been there for my heart operation... You're a pretty good friend."

"Yeah... friend." She replied. "Anyway, can you believe this? Multiversal Studio's actually send me a job offer. Like I'm going to..."

"Please! Don't go!" Krusty begged to his knees, before his secretary. "You're the only one who can organize my schedule perfectly! Who will make me pancakes at night time without asking 'why not in the morning'! You know your math better than I do! Don't go to some billion-dollar company! I can double your payment!"

"Krusty, I wouldn't trade anything for this place. I've been your friend for a very long time. I'm always going to be at your side, you don't have to beg." She placed the palm of her hand to Krusty's shoulder as he looked up to her faithful smile.

"Thanks, pal... Strange that this has been the seventh time you been offered a job." Krusty stood up from his knees.

"Well, she is a professional, Krusty." Sideshow Mel responded.

"Shut it Mel!... Anyway, got to pay a fee for a divorce." Krusty sighed.

"Divorce? Things didn't work out with your last wife?" Ms. Pennycandy felt a bit sorry for the clown.

"Happens all the time. Guess I haven't found the right woman yet. I mean, I'm not a bad man!" He sighed.

"I agree. You're not a bad man, you just need a little help." She smiled.

Suddenly a tall looming shadow appeared over Krusty. He turned around to see one of the most Feared Men in Springfield to set afoot in this studio, Fat Tony and his two henchmen, Legs and Louie.

"Uh... Krusty. Have you forgotten about our.. say... arrangement?" Fat Tony had a devious smile on his face.

It was none other than the Springfield Mafia, the feared group of Springfield

"We uh... took care of the competition for you." Fat Tony grinned. "I believe you have some green leaves for us?"

"Green Leaves? What the hell does... Oh! Money! Yeah... um... guys. My payment doesn't come until tomorrow. Do you think you can come back later?" Krusty shuddered, fearing the unexpected.

"Hmm... perhaps... but then... perhaps again... not even the Springfield Mafia is a match for the IRS. Boys, break his legs." Fat Tony ordered.

Suddenly Legs and Louie, holding a baseball bat while the other held a crowbar, stepped in for a beating.

"Wait!" Pennycandy shielded Krusty.

The two henchmen stopped as Fat Tony says, "Hmm... Okay. I will hear what you have to say before I donate Krusty's Corpse to the gym as a replacement punching bag."

"I have the payment for Krusty's Bill's." She said, showing the cash right in front of Fat Tony.

"Two Bucks? Hmm... Okay." Fat Tony said, received the two bucks.

The three walked away as Legs mumbled, "What does she care for such a loser."

Ms. Pennycandy sometimes asked that question, but right now she was just happy to see Krusty okay.

"You know. I could've handle myself. I had metal under these pants from the last act." Krusty said.

"Just go home. We all need a rest." Lois Pennycandy said.

* * *

><p>The next morning, Krusty was walking on the sidewalks of Krustylu Studios ordering his secretary, Ms. Pennycandy, to schedule various things down, he was a bit grumpy, but was still in the mood.<p>

"Okay. Your doctor's appointment is at afternoon around Three. At four, you must meet some local businessmen. And tomorrow 'sigh', you must meet the Springfield Mafia at the Googolplex Theater." She said, not looking too happy about the last appointment she mentioned.

"Good. Good." Krusty replied.

"Hey what's up!" A Boy spoke, appearing right out of nowhere along with his sister.

It was Bart and Lisa who appeared right in front of the clown, smiling and surprised the clown.

"What the! How did you passed the guards?" Krusty asked.

"Guards?" Lisa had no idea what he meant.

Suddenly Krusty's Agent came over, an old but intelligent person, saying, "Uh... Krusty. I just got some papers from Court ruling in favor that you owe your ex-wife 44 million dollars and your dog."

"WHAT! The dog too! She doesn't even the like the dog!" Krusty was not too fond of this.

"Apparently that fire dance gag you pulled not only gave your ex-wife's father an heart attack but also burnt down the house he has worked on for years... In other words, your ex-wife is getting payback not just in money." Krusty's Agent answered.

"Errr... I need some time alone to think about this... Ms. Pennycandy, will you take the two youngling's on a little tour." Krusty sat on the ground, leaning against a Studio Lot's wall, feeling too much stress on his hands.

"Woo hoo! A tour! Right on!" Bart smiled, not realizing his situation.

"Bart! Krusty's being sued." Lisa replied.

"Wait? What?" Bart's enthusiasm suddenly stopped.

"Uh.. Come on kids. Krusty is a busy man." Ms. Pennycandy spoke, escorting them away from Krusty.

* * *

><p>The three were walking by several studio lots, however they gazed as the most popular studio lot compared to other's. The Channel 6 Studio Lot.<p>

"Wow. Just wow." Bart gazed at the building, admiring every corner and wall it had.

"Yep. This is the same studio that Krusty's Show, Kent Brockman's News, and Troy McClure's Invention Show are all aired at." Ms. Pennycandy smiled.

She enjoyed the kid's company apparently, smiling as the two gazed at it, drooled at it, dreamed of the place, but Lisa suddenly had a curious question, one where she desired an answer.

"Hey. You work here don't you? How come your always sticking by Krusty's side anyway?" Lisa asked.

"Well.. uh.. you know.. um.." She hesitated.

"Wait a minute?... Do you have a crush on that clown?" Lisa asked, thinking that may be it.

"Uhh.." Ms. Pennycandy waved her eyes back and forth nervously thinking, "_Plan B_"...

* * *

><p>A minute later, the two kids were escorted out of Krustylu Studios by the guard, pushing them to the exit as he said, "Don't ever sneak in here again!". He walked away as Bart angrily mumbled about Pennycandy calling the guards all of a sudden.<p>

"Thanks a lot Lise! If you hadn't mentioned it, we probably could've seen the insides of the studio lot." Bart said.

"But don't you see Bart! I think Krusty's Secretary has a crush on the clown! We should bring them together!" Lisa said.

"Okay, but how?" Bart suddenly calmed down.

Lisa than started whispering the plan until Bart said, "Wait? Why are you whispering? No one's around."

"Oh. Sorry. Here's the plan." Lisa snapped her fingers.

* * *

><p>Nighttime at Springfield, as Krusty grabbed a bottle of Champaign in his luxurious mansion, relaxing every bit of bone he had in his body from the stress he just had.<p>

"Ahh... a fresh cold drink... some TV... and who wouldn't enjoy a nice sit on a comfty warm chair..." Krusty went over to his red chair, but than he noticed a note placed on top of it...

"_What the? Did someone broke in_?" Krusty thought.

Krusty grabbed the note, taking a look at it saying, "_Man, this handwriting looks like of a kids. Maybe around Eleven or Nine... Better see what's it about..."_

"_Dear Krustofski... I your secret admirer -_ Secret Admirer?." Krusty spoke out loud, wanting to read the rest of the note, "... _and I wish to see you soon. Meet me tonight at the..."_

* * *

><p>Meanwhile at Ms. Pennycandy's apartment.<p>

"_... Meet me tonight at the Wall E. Weasel's, where an romantic afternoon will spark in the darkest of days... come, and let the spark grow into a strong fire representing a strong bond between us. Meet me soon, your secret admirer..." _Ms. Pennycandy read the letter. "This is almost good but Wall E. Weasel's? That's a family restaurant for kids... Oh well, hate to reject the guy, better check it out..."

* * *

><p>Krusty was in his most fanciest tuxedo as he stood before Wall E. Weasel's. The restaurant was like any average American Family Restaurant but with a giant weasel holding pizza in his right hand, smiling with a chef's hat on. Basically it was a giant mascot standing on top of the restaurant.<p>

"_This must be the place..."_ Krusty thought, staring at the restaurant's logo, "We can stuff fun down your throat!"

Krusty entered the restaurant, spotting children everywhere at the indoor playground, at the pool of color balls, at the retro-style tables, everywhere making too much noises and messes.

"Okay... um... the note says my table is table 23..." Krusty looked and looked for the table.

Then he unexpectedly spotted Ms. Pennycandy sitting at table 23, the very table near the stage of singing animatronics. There were five of them animatronics, a Weasel of course, a moose, a squirrel, a octopus, and a duck all holding instruments... but what matter was that Krusty did not expect to see her, neither did Ms. Pennycandy expect to see him...

"_Ms. Pennycandy is my date_?" Krusty thought.

"_Krusty is my date_?" Ms. Pennycandy thought, spotting the clown.

"_I'm going to stuff fun down my throat!_" Ralph Wiggum thought, just walking by as he stuffed glue down his throat, smiling.

Krusty the Clown walked over to Table 23 as Pennycandy thought, "_Oh... He's coming this way? What to do?"_

"Uh... hello. This is quite awkward." Krusty pulled up a seat.

"Yeah... can you believe this place?" She nervously smiled, hoping she said the right words.

"Hey there! You want to hear a song!" The Animatronic Weasel spoke directly to Krusty.

"No." said Krusty.

"You do? Well! Let's sing it everybody!" The Animatronic Weasel said.

"Even the songs here suck." Hearing the start of horrible static and sparks already.

"I think that one is broken." Ms. Pennycandy pointed to the malfunctioning Weasel.

"Oh that? That's completely normal." An mean-looking employee walked by their table.

"Okay! Everybody! Let's sing!" The Weasel Animatronics smiled as fire covered it's head.

Suddenly Krusty and Pennycandy looked at the mean-looking employee, who now said, "Yeah... uh... that's normal too. I'll just get the fire extinguisher to take out those flames."

The grumbled employee who scratched his back aimed the fire extinguisher at the weasel, taking out all the flames so it won't spread further. The Animatronic Weasel no longer looked like an animal, but looked more like a burnt evil Terminator that recently was on fire, this scared the children who hid behind their parents...

"Trust me. Normal." The Employee said as Krusty and Ms. Pennycandy looked at the scary animatronic. "I just need to hack him into pieces...", pulling out an axe under Table 23...

"Oookay..." She then turned her attention to the clown as she notice he had to say something.

"I need you at the Googolplex Theater tomorrow because the mafia wants me there for my next payment, can't go alone." Krusty said.

"Yes, I know. Still... I can't believe you chose a place like this, Krusty." Ms. Pennycandy sighed.

"What? I didn't brought you here. I thought you brought me here?" Krusty said.

"If you didn't and I didn't... than who?" She asked.

Suddenly they heard more rustling among the pool filled with colorful balls that an infant wouldn't make.

"Hey employee!" Krusty said.

"My name is Wall. E. Weasel's, but what?" The Mean-Looking Employee said.

"How many kids went there in the pool right their?" Krusty asked.

"That place? Only babies go their but... I did saw two kids hiding, spying at you. In fact, their still their right now. Let me bring them over." Wall E. Weasel's said.

Wally walked towards the pool, pulling out two kids, Bart and Lisa, with his bare hands. They tried struggling their way out, but his grip was strong.

"You got nothing on us!" Bart said.

"Uh-huh. Talk to these two then." Wall E. Weasel's dropped them off at Table 23.

"Uh... hello..." Bart spoke before his hero and his secretary, feeling worried and nervous.

They didn't respond but silence, wondering what they were doing their in the first place.

"Look! We just tried to see if you were right for each other! Please don't call our parents!" Lisa told the truth.

Immediately they looked at each other, eye to eye, started to chuckled a bit, than the chuckling turned to small bits of strong laughter.

"Y... You think we were actually in love? Were just friends!" Krusty smiled at the younglings.

"Yeah, you honestly think that?" Ms. Pennycandy said.

"Come on you two. I'll give you a ride home." Krusty said.

* * *

><p>The next day, there stood the Googolplex Theater in downtown Springfield, the largest movie theater next to Noiseland Arcade and an Apartment Complex. There Krusty walked into the hallway of the Googolplex Theater looking at many Movie Screening Doors next to Ms. Pennycandy.<p>

"Well... Fat Tony said to meet us at the newest Muppet Movie." Krusty said.

"It's been a while since I've been in this theater. Googolplex has so many screening rooms compared to Aztec's Theater's one screening room." Ms. Pennycandy as the two stopped.

"Ah! Here we are." Krusty looked at Screening Room 12.

* * *

><p>The two entered the room, and the movie theater was a bit smaller than Aztec's One Big Theater Room but it was still alright.<p>

"Oh man. There's Fat Tony right now." Krusty saw the mob boss sitting at the front third row in the middle. "Better deal with this..."

Fat Tony was just sitting their, no henchmen at all, but that doesn't me he couldn't take care of himself. Krusty and Ms. Pennycandy went over to the front third row, passing a few people along the way. They sat next to the mob boss quietly and calmly as they can.

"Ah... Krusty. You..."

"PLEASE! DON'T SHOOT! I HAVE THE PAYMENT RIGHT NOW! RIGHT HERE!" Krusty begged for his life, drawing the attention of several people

"Uh... yes... well, you finally have the right amount of payment. That is good but you don't have to yell it out." Fat Tony was a bit displeased with that reaction, but nevertheless, he came here for one thing.

"Okay Fat Tony. Here's forty-two dollars." Krusty handed the money to Fat Tony, in cash.

"Good. Everything seems in order." Fat Tony was finally pleased. "Nice doing business with you. Looks like no ka-boom for you at home than."

"Ka-boom?" Krusty was not sure what that mean't.

"Shh! The movie is starting." Fat Tony said.

Suddenly the movie titled emerged in a Die Hard fashion, "MUPPETS WITH GUNS"

* * *

><p>One hour later at the big screen...<p>

"Wocka Wocka Bitch!" A Tuxedo-Wearing Fozzie Bear with Sunglasses on, shot the defector on the big screen.

"Oh god... this is the worst Muppet film ever... and I've seen Half of the Star Trek Films..." Krusty sighed, feeling tormented by just watching mindless gun action in every scene by the Muppets.

"Yeah... I know what you mean. Only a yokel would enjoy this much mindless shooting." Ms. Pennycandy was bored of this film.

"Shh! Some people are trying to enjoy this film." Cletus spoke from behind their seats.

* * *

><p>Krusty and Ms. Pennycandy stepped out of the theater, seeing the sunset in front of their very eyes, it was beautiful.<p>

"Well... I got to go home. My favorite show is coming on in thirteen minutes." said Pennycandy, facing towards Krusty.

"Oh. Okay than." Krusty said.

Just as Ms. Pennycandy took a step near Main Street, seeing the many cracks, holes, and damage to the street, part of it still being in poor condition due to last year's Monorail...

"Uh... Ms. You should be careful. That street isn't entirely safe..." Krusty said.

"No worries. I'll just..."

Suddenly as time passed on itself, Lois Pennycandy tripped just by a crack the size of a horse's shoe, about to fall to the sturdy ground. Krusty was just in time to pull her away from the poorly condition street, holding her arm. For a minute there, Krusty was now staring at the eyes of his own secretary, face to face, eye to eye, it was... unusual for Krusty as well as Pennycandy.

"Uh... I think I should go..." Ms. Pennycandy took a step back.

"Wait! I think I just realized something!" Krusty said, who also took a step back.

"What? That your a cynical, burnt out, addiction-riddled smoking gambling clown slob?" Ms. Pennycandy said.

"Hell no. Huh? I think I just forgot whatever I realized... I.. I need time to think even more." Krusty said.

The two felt like going to separate paths to home, feeling awkward, very awkward of what just happened...

* * *

><p>It was a beautiful time at the park, as Bart and Lisa were playing catch with Homer at Springfield Park, it was time to go home but they were up for one more throw.<p>

"Okay! I'm throwing the big one!" Bart had the baseball in his hand.

Bart threw the baseball as hard as he can, the baseball swiftly flew through the air hitting someone in the process.

"OW! MY Knecticazoit!" A Certain Jewish Clown spoke in pain.

The three ran over to see what happened as Bart yelled out, "Krusty! I am so sorry!"

"No worries, kids. Say, can your dad go somewhere else. I need to talk this in private." Krusty said.

"Fine." Homer sighed. "I'll go to Moe's." He walked out on them, not even thinking the slightest care about them.

"That was easy." Krusty said.

"Yeah, well? What do you want?" Lisa asked.

"I need advice. I think I want to date my own secretary... and she knows both the good and bad side of me!" Krusty explained.

"You have a good side?" Bart said.

"Never mind that! Can you give me help or what?"

"Sure!" Bart and Lisa agreed.

"Okay? What's the plan." Krusty asked.

Lisa began whispering the plan to their ears, until Krusty stopped it saying, "Wait? Why are you whispering! There's on one here."

"Oh... oh right. Well... we could start off your date with a nice dinner at Ian's Musicshop. There's lots of peaceful music around and it's pretty clean." Lisa answered.

"Hmm... okay, at least it will be better than Wall E. Weasel's." Krusty sighed.

"Oh. Also try to be sensitive. Lot's of women like sensitive men." Bart said.

"Okay!" Krusty pulled out a notebook and a pencil from his left pocket. "S.. E... N... S... Does it comes with ee or I?"

"Just follow us." Lisa sighed.

* * *

><p>The door bell ringed, and Ms. Pennycandy quickly went to the door. She took the door knob, opening it to find Krusty the Clown at the door of her apartment, with his hands behind his back. Strangely, he had an ear piece with him.<p>

"Oh! Hello. I was just wondering if you could give me some... advice on dating." Krusty said.

"Oh... Well one of the most common advices is flowers and candy but a girl is just trying to find that someone. That's what dating is about, you know. Also what's with the ear-piece. Calling you agent?" She said.

"Uh-huh. Yes... But Back to the flowers and candy. What should I choose?" Krusty asked.

"Well... I personally prefer pink roses, but you should see what she likes.

"I see." Krusty threw away the red roses behind him to a window.

"OW! MY EYES! DAMN THESE ROSES THORNS!" A Guy screamed in pain from outside the apartment complex.

"What was that?" She asked.

"Uh... nothing."

"Well. What are you waiting around for? You have a date don't you?" She smiled.

"That's just the thing. You are my date." Krusty revealed the truth.

Ms. Pennycandy all of a sudden fell to the ground landing on her back as if she just had a heart attack.

"Uh... Ms. Pennycandy... Are you alright?" Krusty was a bit worried.

"I'll get my coat." She immediately woke up.

* * *

><p>At Ian's Music Shop, Krusty and Pennycandy sat at a table, after some appetizer's, just made for the two of them. The vase in the middle even had pink roses and the sound of chorus music flowed through the air. Krusty looked through the window's and saw Bart and Lisa hiding behind a bush, giving advice through a walkie talkie as Krusty's Ear Piece shined...<p>

"Be Sensitive. Girl's like sensitive guys" Bart spoke from the Walkie Talkie to Krusty's Earpiece.

"Oh. Alright." Krusty whispered back.

Krusty looked back at his date as Ms. Pennycandy smiled at the clown.

"You know Krusty..." Ms. Pennycandy touched his hand.

Suddenly he swooped it away and angrily said, "Hey! Back off! Can't you see I'm sensitive!"

He then turned to the bush through the window, giving a thumbs up, couple of blinks, and a "good job" smile as Bart and Lisa, both face palmed their own forehead, sighing at Krusty's lack of commons sense.

"So? What do you think?" Asking Ms. Pennycandy a simple question.

"It's going pretty well. Better than that Wall E. Weasel's restuarant at least." She chuckled.

"Oh god. What do I do? Do I laugh with her or just smile?" Krusty whispered through the ear piece.

"Do both and... BZZZZ... Would you like fries with that for 2.99?" Bart's Voice suddenly got replaced by the voice of a Squeaky Voiced Teen.

"Uh.. um... Would you like fries with that for 2.99?" Krusty went on with the "advice" as Ms. Pennycandy looked at him awkwardly.

Meanwhile outside...

"Jumbo Combo Premium and some cheese with the fries, got that." The Squeaky Voiced Teen spoke not only through the ear piece but through the walkie talkie as well.

"Oh no! I think there's an interference from Krusty Burger." Lisa said.

"Well the guy better hurry up with the order. Krusty looks shy and nervous all of a sudden. Plus, who eats a Jumbo Combo Premium at Ten at Night?" Bart asked.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile at Krusty Burger's.<p>

"Ketchup or Mustard?" The Squeaky Voied Teen asked at the drive thru.

"Surprise Me." Homer said in his car.

* * *

><p>Krusty was ever nervous thinking, <em>"Must be interference with the communication. Got to think of something to say...<em>"

"Uh... Krusty?" Ms. Pennycandy said.

Suddenly Krusty stood up instantly, not knowing what to say, and so blurted out, "You know what! I'll get the steaks!".

Suddenly Ian emerged from the kitchen smiling as their were oil stains on his shirts.

"Oh.. this can't be good." Krusty said.

"Hey man. I accidently locked myself here on Saturday, Man, I was starving until I found these two delicious steaks. They tasted good, man." Ian spoke.

"Errrr..." Krusty looked at him angry.

"Aww... Isn't that funny? You even brought a little joke to the date." Ms. Pennycandy said.

"Uh.. Um. Yes! A joke. Heh heh." Krusty's bitter rage turned to a smile again.

"Hey wait a minute! Your that clown my three kid employee's love! What was it? Crummy The Rooster? Wait a minute... You can't be a rooster! You're a clown! This world is out of order, man."

* * *

><p>Krusty and Pennycandy took a walk at the park during the full moon. It was a beautiful and joyous night, and Krusty couldn't wait no longer.<p>

"Ms. Pennycandy." Krusty stopped.

"What? What is it?" She asked.

Krusty lowered his left knee to the ground, his right knee rose, and he pulled out a box with a ring of real ruby.

"Ms. Pennycandy. Won't you marry me and become Mrs. Krustofsky?" She asked.

"I'm sorry Krusty... but.. but I'm just not ready for that kind of commitment." She said.

"Wait what?" Krusty stood up. "Strange. It usually goes with them saying yes, and another few short years of marriage, and than divorce again."

"Uh.. Krusty. Is this how your life is going to be spent? Divorce after Divorce?" She asked.

"Hmm... Now that you kind of think of it... sure, why not?" He simply answered.

Suddenly Ms. Pennycandy looked serious and said, "That's your problem! Just a few days of dating and already you decide to marry them!"

"Well, I don't think you love me if you're not taking the commitment!" Krusty argued.

"That's your problem! All your marriages have been short because you never considered to know them better than ever! That's what dating is! And guess what!" An Angrily Serious Ms. Pennycandy said.

"Oh yeah! What!" Krusty said.

"Out of all the woman you had met! I'm the first to actually know you fully!" She said. "And all those woman who thought you were a simple guy, well they turned your backs on you realizing who you really were! A Chain Gambling-Smoking Dead-beat Comedian!"

"Okay, now that really hurts. Now you can drop the act." Krusty thought she was just acting.

"Act? You think this is an act. Do you even know anything about me!"

"Of course I know about you."

"What's my first name, huh? Huh?" She said.

"Uh... um..." Krusty had no idea what her first name was.

"You don't know my first name! It's Lois! Errrrr..." She became mad.

"Oh! Lois! Like Lois from Superman... or Lois from Malcolm and the Middle. Let's not forget Lois Griffin as well." Krusty smiled.

"Err... Goodbye Krusty." Lois Pennycandy walked away.

For the first time, Krusty saw a woman just walking out on him on the first date.

"Oh god. I feel strange inside." Krusty said.

"It's called Self-Pity." Lisa said as she and Bart took a step away from the tree they were hiding.

"Yeah. I guess so." Krusty said, watching his secretary leave during the moment.

"Large or Medium Drink Sir?" The Squeaky Voiced Teen interrupted the moment on both the Ear Piece and Walkie Talkie.

"Large." Homer's Voice came up on both the walkie talkie and ear piece.

* * *

><p>Krusty was sobered in his usual Clown Outfit, just unorganized, messy, and lazy than ever on the ground in a dark room, thinking "<em>Ugh...".<em>

Bart and Lisa stepped into Krusty's Office, a room of Krustylu Studio Lot 6, seeing Krusty surrounded by a room once luxurious was now but a room filled with cracked mirrors, sheets on the floor, and coffee stains on the couch.

"Oh god. Krusty the Clown, what happened?" Lisa asked, feeling worried about the clown.

"Oh. Alcohol stopped coming, my laundry stopped coming clean, I'm having more bills than ever... usual my secretary helps me but she's now gone..." Krusty sighed, standing up with an tired out back.

"You look terrible ever since she left." Bart said.

"Yeah, well... who needs her?"

"You do Krusty." Lisa answered. "She's been there for you all the time, she helped you with your diet, with your anger issues at times, she even saved your life a few times from the mafia of what I heard around the studio."

"In fact, without her, you wouldn't even come over at my house for dinner, which lead to reuniting with your father you know." Bart said.

"My god. I think I just realized something!" Krusty felt some energy back in his spine.

"What? A cynical, burnt out, addiction-riddled smoking gambling clown slob?" Lisa said.

"Why does everyone keep saying that!" Krusty said.

"No offense but I have to agree with Lise on this one." Bart said.

"Yeah, yeah, but I need to set things right! First! I need to find Ms. Pennycandy!" Krusty spoke.

Suddenly Mr. Teeny came with a note, overhearing the little conversation.

"Oh hello! Is this from Pennycandy?" Krusty received the note.

He read it word by word and suddenly yelled out, "MULTIVERSE STUDIOS? OH NO!"

"What? What is it?" Bart asked.

"This is a note from Lois and she's taking the job offer from that big money making corporation known as Multiverse STudios down at Capitol City!" Krusty explained.

"It's not too late! We just got to hurry and..."

"It is too late! She just gone to a train ten minutes ago! Unless... what's faster than a train?" Krusty looked at the two kids.

"Don't look at me. Look at my sister." Bart pointed.

Krusty than looked at Lisa if she had any ideas and said, "Well... the first Train was beaten by a horse during a competition... we could try and get a horse... and let me keep it... and..."

"A horse? That's a great idea!" Krusty said.

"Can I have a white one named Soul?" Lisa smiled.

"No. I mean't that riding by horse was a good idea." Krusty said.

"Can I at least take a ride on one?" Lisa asked as if she was desperate for one.

"Sure... as long as it stops your yapping." Krusty said.

* * *

><p>It was morning and trains were restless, steams were emerging, and the time for wheels to go already began ten minutes ago at Springfield Train Station, where Ms. Pennycandy was sitting aboard a Train heading to Capitol City.<p>

"Okay Everybody. I will be your guide for today's Springfield Train Tour." Wearing a T-shirt and blue jeans on board the moving train. "As you can see, there's lots of pine trees out their, some maple trees, a few dead trees, we even have a few more pine trees... and so on... and so on..."

Suddenly Ms. Pennycandy raised her hand, feeling a bit annoyed of the guide.

"Yes. What is it?" The Guide asked.

"Are you just here to bore us because their's practically nothing out their but trees and more trees." She sighed.

"Look lady. There's a ton of thing's to see. Like that Clown and two kids racing this train by horse to the right." The Guide said.

Suddenly everyone reacted by moving to the left, looking throughout the window to see a Clown and two kids on a horse, they were surprised but Ms. Pennycandy was the most to see Krusty go this far.

"Okay, now you saw the Clown and the two kids riding the horse. Now to the right, you can see more pine trees, why there's even a few pines that are circular if you see closely." The Guide said.

Meanwhile outside of the moving train...

"Okay! What to do! How do I stop this train?" Krusty asked.

"Uh... huh... I really never thought about that..." Lisa said.

"Well... I do have an idea. I saw it in a movie once." Bart said. "We could try going in front of the train and hope it stops when it sees us?"

"Sounds stupid... I'll do it!" Krusty said.

Krusty rode the horse faster and faster to the front of the train as Bart was smiling in excitement while Lisa was fearing for her life, thinking, "_THIS IS CRAZY!_". The horse passed the train and leaped to the tracks, standing their.

"This doesn't look good." Lisa felt very bad about this.

"Ye-ha!" Bart smiled.

The horse reacted nervous too thinking, _"I knew I shouldn't quit my job at the racing tracks!"_

Luckily the Train Engineer pulled the brakes. Each second, the train was going slower and slower, until finally it stood just three inches away from the horse.

"_Whew_." Lisa and the Horse thought.

* * *

><p>Five minutes later, every passenger on board was waiting for transportation and Krusty again was responsible for a mess he caused, this time a bit bigger than usual.<p>

"Krusty the clown. I'm the safety inspector that work's for the Federal Railroad Administration and apparently your the one responsible for stopping a train that was schedule to Capitol City? You are now being sued 10,323 dollars for what's happened here." The Safety Inspector said.

"Well... at least it's not so bad compared to the divorce." Krusty said.

"Yeah, well. No one can beat the IRS pal. I know it's unpopular at times but someone's got to pay the bills." He said.

The Safety Inspector left just in time at Lois Pennycandy came by.

"Your being sued again. Right Krusty?" She simply asked.

"Yes, but that doesn't matter. I'll pay the debts later but now I just want to spend time with you!" Krusty held her hand.

"I do to.. m.. maybe we should get married. If that's what you want." She smiled.

"No way. I want to know the real you! You already know me for over thirty years! It's time to know you best!" Krusty spoke for the best.

"Hmm... so your basically asking out for a date?" She said.

"Yes. That's what I'm saying. I got a horse still paid for another hour."

"A horse ride does seem like a nice way to start off a relationship again." Ms. Pennycandy said.

* * *

><p>Homer and Marge suddenly hurried as Bart and Lisa watched the clown and the secretary climb to the top of a horse for an one hour ride.<p>

"Oh! There you are! I heard a train got crashed and..." Marge was worried as usual.

"Were fine. The train just got stopped but Krusty and Ms. Pennycandy are now together again." Lisa smiled.

"Really? Well that's a job well done." Homer said.

"What do you mean? You didn't do anything except go to Moe's and get a few burgers." Bart snapped.

"Come on. Let's just go home. I'm sure we'll hear all about it during the way home." Marge smiled.

"'Squeak', 'Squeak'." Maggie squeaked her pacifier.

Krusty the Clown and Ms. Pennycandy rode off in the morning as there was a full day ahead of them as Ms. Pennycandy had a question.

"Uh... Krusty? Where exactly are we going?" She asked.

"Wherever the road leads us Lois. Wherever the road leads us." Krusty said.

The two lovers rode the horse off to the road as a sign said, "Austin, Texas, 3402 miles."

Meanwhile the family walked happily to the car with the kids explaining what just happened.

"You should've been with us! We were at Krustylu Studio's, than Wall E. Weasel's, than Ian's Musicshop, than the studio's again, and now here!" Bart said.

"That's great!" Marge responded.

"We also got to see the inside of the studio of Channel 6!" Lisa smiled.

"What? No way." Homer responded.

"Yep."

"All this talk is making me hungry. Let's all go out for some Chocolate Frosty Milkshakes!" Homer smiled.

"All right!" The Kids were smiling.

* * *

><p>(Maggie's Crib Short)<p>

Maggie was watching Sesame Street as Homer had the remote, right at the couch.

"Homer! Can you come over here! Need help grinding this meat!" Marge yelled across the kitchen.

"Coming dear!" Homer stood up, dropping the remote to the ground, right near Maggie.

Just as Homer left, Maggie looked at the remote with wonders of what other Television Channels existed in her world. She was curious and this was her chance. She took the remote and quickly changed the channel to HBO.

"WHO DOESN'T LOVE DIE HARD. THE "BLEEP" GREATEST ACTION FILM EVER MADE!"BLEEP" YEAH!" The Narrator spoke with some profanity.

Their Maggie saw explosions, guns, cursing, threats, interrogation, helicopter's falling , serious police cops, all because of some man named, "McClane". This is the sort of stuff an infant baby shouldn't watch.

Suddenly Homer stepped in seeing Maggie watching TV.

"Aw.. Look at Maggie watching... Wait a minute? A crossover between Sesame Street and The Muppets! My god! What has this world gone to?" Homer said.

Maggie smiled that she manage to change the channel back without his father suspecting a thing. And so she blinks her right eye at you. Yep, blinks right at you, the reader!


	7. New Treehouse Of Horror IV

Opening Gag - Wiggle-Puppy! The face of Ralph Wiggum and the body of a puppy! Flies to the sky with magical rainbow powers!

Billboard Gag - "Sending the Bad News Is My Specialty!" Says Dr. Nick

Chalkboard Gag - "VOTE! On The President Who Will Do The Least Amount of Damage!", "VOTE! On The President Who Will Do The Least Amount of Damage!"

Couch Gag - The Simpsons run to the couch on roller skates, all of them land on the couch as Homer slips and trips to the ground.

Ep 56 - S02E06 Date - Feb 19. 2011

* * *

><p><strong>TREE HOUSE OF HORROR IV<strong>, CONTENTS

**A 50's GHOST HAUNTING** - Milhouse finds himself in an unpopular position... that is until he gets a visit from a ghost of the 50's , the Shakespeare of the time, Ernest Hemingway

**WERE-HOMER** - Homer finds himself in the plains, bitten... and as the moon starts to be full, he changes into a Were-Wolf... that is until he is bitten by several other things...

**CULPRIT APPSTER** - One By One, someone... or something... is leaving the corpses of Moe's Friends. Now Moe has to find out who's behind these series of murders before it's too late.

* * *

><p>A door floated, rotating, endlessly in an big black empty space.<p>

_You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension._

The door opens, revealing a pink frosted donut floating in space, twirling continuously in the emptiness.

_A dimension of sound_

The tasty donut shatters into several pieces like glass as the million sounds of "D'OH! D'OH! D'OH!" emerges in the emptiness. Than an eye floats into the emptiness with yellow skinned eyelid.

_A dimension of sight._

The eye moves away as Prof. Frink appears, trapped in a floating glass bottle that flows through the emptiness saying, "'GLAVIN! With the mystery, plot twists, and the terror!"

_A dimension of mind._

Than an Krusty Clock saying, "Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! So You Can Buy My New Krusty Brand Cereal!". Than a drop of drool floats in the emptiness as a fat man's went, "Mmm... Mystery... Glaaarrrgghhh...""

_You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas... I am Rod Serling, creator and narrator of the Twilight Zone. I will be your narrator for today because you've just crossed over into..._

_**TREEHOUSE OF HORROR IV**_

_IT'S TO __DIET FOR_

* * *

><p><em>We now go into the minds of children, so vast imagination's with creativity in a little piece of America, Springfield. The perfect night for all the children to tell stories. Stories with unexpected twists, with things thought to be the unhappening, things rumored to actually happened. We appear now to see these youngling's tell the haunting mysteries that lie in the town... all in a single backyard in a single campout. All to tell three tales of horror.. Mmm.. this sandwich is pretty good. Needs some spicy mustar... I mean. And so It began...<em>

"Isn't this great?" Bart spoke, the underachiever and local rebel of Springfield. "Just a little camping in the backyard, a little roasting over marshmallows, and a little."

"You said there would be marshmallows!" Nelson argued.

"It's still a nice camp? Don't you think Lisa?" Bart smiled with confidence.

"Bart, the fire happens to be a lamp, the marshmallows are fish sticks, and the stick were using happen to be things resembling a stick but is not actually one." Lisa held a ruler for a tofu-made fish stick, the brainiac of the three.

There was Bart and Lisa but who could forget Maggie, the infant who shot an evil billionaire. It was the three of them sitting on one of the four logs. The other three logs had other kids joining the so-called campfire in the Simpson's Backyard. Nelson, Martin, and Ralph on one log. Handy and Milhouse sat on another. On the last log was Janie and Allison. All the kids came here for a tale of horror, but would it scare them? Nope. Just Nope. Though it could interest them.

"I hope you tell a good one. The story about Homer not able to open a pickle jar and screaming all of a sudden was not scary." Handy sighed.

"Oh... you want a scary story eh? I got a story." Bart grinned with eyes of terror in him.

"Uh-huh. Ralph can tell a better story than you." Milhouse said.

"My Marshmallow smells funny" Joyful Ralph held a twig with a mossy rock at the end, near the lamp.

"Uh... yeah... Anyway, my story begins in this very town." Bart said. "I call it..."

**A 50'S GHOST HAUNTING**

(SFX - THUNDERING LIGHTNING)

* * *

><p><em>Imagine a school sitting there upon the suburbs. It appears to be Springfield Elementary, an ordinary school where one person and only one person will have a huge impact on his life. An supernatural impact to say. More to it than the eye can see. He will have to face obstacles but it won't stop him. Tough obstacles that could change him forever... Oh by the way? Did I mentioned that this person is an eleven year crybaby by the name of Milhouse?<em>

Milhouse steps in the school hallway, smiling for the day, with his usual nerdy clothes, nose, and glasses.

_Quite a twist. Don't you think?_

"Hey Bart!" Milhouse spotted his best friend.

"What's up buddy. Say, I just thought of something." Bart came, smiling at his best friend.

"Yeah?" He wondered what will be in store for him.

"Well. You have a big nose so you must have a strong sense of smell. I say we try it out." Bart said.

"Okay." Milhouse started to sniff.

"Well. What do you smell?" Bart asked.

"It smells like road kill animals... being made into burgers... as.. today's lunch?" Milhouse spoke.

"So that's why there were tire tracks on my hamburgers last week." Bart said surprised.

"Huh... I also smell Girly Gaga Shampoo." Milhouse sniffed.

"That's Girly Mama Shampoo, it is. I accidently used Mother's after my G.I Joe Shampoo got switched." Skinner snapped, holding a box full of junk.

"What's with the box, Seymour?" Bart asked.

"It's Principal Skinner to you and it's just some old junk mother doesn't want any more from the 50's."

Milhouse spotted an old dusty lamp with two light bulbs and an working condition outlet in the boxes, reacting, "That's a nice lamp you have their. Does it work?"

"That's a gift from one of Mother's Boyfriends. Apparently he was just visiting Springfield for business and left. Mother is still as angry and pissed off about it since Americans learned that the Great Depression had a name." said Skinner. "You can have it if you want. Won't do much good though."

"Thanks! It will look good in my 50's Collection." Milhouse obtained the lamp.

"SEYMOUR! COME OVER HERE! MY SCALP ISN'T GETTING ANY YOUNGER! AND WHY DO I SMELL LIKE G.I. JOES!" Agnes Skinner yelled angrily at his son.

"Coming Mother!" Skinner hurried.

Just as Skinner left, Bart looked at the dusty old lamp saying, "What an old heap of trash. What are you going to do with it anyway?"

"First of all. It's a bit dusty. I think I should clean it." Milhouse said.

"Whatever. I'm heading to class. Putting a new prank into effect for Frink's Math Class." Bart said.

As Bart left, Milhouse looked at the lamp thinking, "_There must be something good in this lamp. Got to shine it up a bit."_

Milhouse used a handkerchief form his pocket, cleaning a smudge of old 1932 Chocolate on the Lamp, suddenly the appliance was shaking like an earthquake in the palm of the nerd's hand's.

"What's Happening!" Milhouse did not expect this to happen.

He dropped the lamp to the ground as suddenly a ghastly green smoke emerged from the lamp's light bulb. It suddenly took form, into some kind of person.

"Oh god! It's about time! The name's Ernest Hemingway! The Shakespeare's of the 50's!" The Ghost of Ernest Hemingway greeted Milhouse with kindness, usually you expect terror from a ghost.

"Uh... um.. Hi?" Milhouse shuddered in fear.

"Don't be scared pal. Now look. Are you going to wish for something or what? You have three wishes if you didn't look into the manual." He asked.

"Wishes? Well... I do wish for the hot chick of my dreams..." Milhouse felt a chance for happiness.

"Hot Chick? No prob." Hemingway said.

With the snap of his fingers, a baby chick popped out of nowhere.

"What? That's not what I meant!" Milhouse said.

"Oh... A _Hot_ Chick! Got'cha!" He snapped his finger's again.

Suddenly the baby chick was now on fire, turning into fried chicken.

"Oh my god! You turned it into fried chicken!" Milhouse was shocked.

"What are you so worried about? Your eating the fried chicken now!" He argued.

"What. It's tasty." Milhouse nibbled on a fried chicken leg.

"Look, I got another wish to go. Can we hurried." The Ghost felt bored of this occasion.

"Well... I do want to be popular... so uh... I wish to join the football team!" Milhouse smiled.

"No Prob." Hemingway snapped his fingers.

* * *

><p>In the hallways, Milhouse walked up to the bullies in a football uniform saying, "Hi guys! I'm one of you jocks now."<p>

"Your a jock? And your here? You must be challenging us! Get him!" Jimbo ordered his fellow bullies.

A few minutes later, Milhouse was in the trashcan beaten up pretty badly by the Bullies.

* * *

><p>After a few minutes, Milhouse in his football uniform walked up to the girls, Janie, Allison, and Lisa who were all nine years old.<p>

"Hey girls. Want to hang out with a football player?" Milhouse said.

A few minutes later, Milhouse was again thrown into the trashcan, beaten up pretty badly, this time with makeup on his face by the girls as they giggled, walking to their classroom.

* * *

><p>After a few more minutes, Milhouse walked up to his fellow nerds, Database, Report Card, Ham, and Cosine in his football uniform.<p>

"Hi ya fellas!" Milhouse said.

Again, Milhouse was thrown into the trashcan, beaten up pretty badly, this time with Homework stuffed to his mouth by the Nerds.

* * *

><p>Another few more minutes, Milhouse in a wrinkled, ripped mark, stained, poor condition football uniform, spotted Ralph Wiggum smiling at him.<p>

"Hello there Ralph Wi..."

Milhouse was again thrown into the trashcan, beaten up badly by Ralph who stood near him smiling, "Now I'm the tough kid now!"

"Hey there tough kid." Sherry and Terry, the twins, held each of Ralph's arm.

"I'm a man... A big strong man." Ralph spoke in a rather tough guy tone of voice.

* * *

><p>Bart, Richard, Lewis, and Handy were all hanging out near Bart's Locker chatting as Milhouse came by in a ragged uniform with a perfect-condition backpack this time.<p>

"Hi guys!" Milhouse said.

"Can you believe this. Some idiot signed us up for a subscription of Tweenlight Magazine." Handy angrily said.

"When I find who did this..." Bart angrily said.

"That was me!" Milhouse smiled. "Don't need to thank me."

"You mean your the one who subscribed to some girly romance magazine about Vampires?" Richard angrily said.

"Hell yes!" Milhouse spoke joyfully, as if he thought it was a good thing, not realizing the mad look on each of their respective faces...

His friends looked at each other thinking of only one way to settle this.

* * *

><p>A few minutes later, Milhouse was in the trash can again by his own friends... at least he wasn't beaten this time and that his backpack was in good condition unlike the football uniform.<p>

"Ugh... being popular is much harder than I thought..." Milhouse said.

"What? You think by just joining the football team it's instant popularity?" Bart said.

"Yeah, it takes more than just being a simple football member. Anyway, see you at lunch." Lewis said.

Just as his friends left, the ghost of Hemingway emerged from his backpack yawning, almost like he took a nap earlier.

"That was a quite good nap from a lamp in a backpack and... Holy Merciful God? What happened here!" The Ghost of Hemingway was shocked to see Milhouse in the trashcan.

"Oh... what did I do wrong? How come I'm not cool..." Milhouse sighed.

"Cool? Is that why? You know, Milhouse. I was the cool kid too back in my day." Ernest Hemingway said.

"Really? I didn't know that." Milhouse wanted to hear more.

"Yes. It's true. A nerd can be cool Milhouse. Say, I'll even help you." The Ghost smiled.

"Really? You'll do that for me!" Milhouse felt glad about this.

"Yes, but first we need to get you out of those clothes and wear something more... appreciating."

* * *

><p>At Costington's Department Store, Milhouse stepped out of the dressing room, wearing white retro clothing.<p>

Ernest Hemingway shook his head "No" from the lamp placed to the chair, as elderly people walked by looking.

A few more minutes passed, Milhouse stepped out of the dressing room, wearing gangster clothing.

Ernest Hemingway again shook his head "No", as two elderly men joined in the criticism.

Again a few more minutes passed, and Milhouse stepped out of the dressing room again, wearing jeans and a casual striped collar shirt.

Ernest Hemingway again shook his head "No" along with a group of elderly people.

This time, Milhouse stepped out of the dressing room, wearing gentlemen clothing with a necktie and a top hat, 50's style.

The Ghost of Ernest Hemingway said, "Yes! Perfect!" as elderly people nodded their head, "Yes".

"Hey? Wait a minute. Your Ernest Hemingway! The best Author of my time!" Abe Simpson smiled at the ghost.

"Yes, it's good to see hardcore fans of mine look up to me, even if I am a ghost." Hemingway smiled.

"Wait a minute? Your a ghost! AHHHHH!" Abe ran screaming to the doors.

* * *

><p>Milhouse in his new fancy clothing sporting a Gentleman's haircut walked across the school's hallway along on his side, Hemingway's Ghost, from the backpack containing the lamp that is.<p>

Suddenly the two stopped, hearing Allison yelling, "Give it back! Give it back!".

Milhouse spotted Allison trying to get a hold of her homework from the school bullies, but Dolph tossed her homework to the next bully, Jimbo. Those bullies felt happy every time the girl almost reached her hand to that one sheet of paper, but never managed to.

"The baby wants her homework." Jimbo grinned at Dolph.

"Just give it back!" Allison cried, ran to Jimbo, only to toss it to Dolph.

"Come and get the homework, baby!" Dolph chuckled.

"Give it back!" Allison cried, running to Dolph, only to toss it to Kearney.

"Yeah! Get it little crybaby!" Kearney said.

"Stop hogging it! Throw it to me!" Nelson argued.

Milhouse watched Allison trying over and over again, but then she just gave up crying, getting bullied for no good reason.

"Poor Allison. I got to stop them! Time for these knuckles to start punching." Milhouse said.

"Stop, Milhouse! There's no need for a gentlemen's fight." Hemingway halted Milhouse.

"But what can I do! Allison is in need of help!" Milhouse argued.

"Back in my days, we didn't used violence to sort our problems with bullies. We rather used social contact. I was known for putting bullies back in their place by using short stories or poems against them. The gift of knowledge, Milhouse." Hemingway said.

"Hmm... literature to put bullies back in place? Can that really work?" Milhouse said.

"Yes, but we need to find the leader of the bullies, Jimbo, one weakness. Can you find it?" He asked.

Milhouse looked at Jimbo very carefully who laughed at the Allison's tears. He then spotted a "LUV MUM" Necklace around his neck.

"His weakness must be his own mother!" Milhouse said.

"Good Job Milhouse! Now to put the plan into action! I know where we can get some paper but we need a pen." The Ghost of Hemingway said.

"Wait a minute! I think Willie just had a pen stabbed in the back by one of his enemies!" Milhouse said.

"Aye! Thert is True." Willie walked over with a pen stuck to his back.

* * *

><p>"This is getting boring." Dolph, bored of bullying the crying girl who simply gave up a short while ago<p>

"Let's go to the cafeteria and get some of those hamburgers with the tire tracks on them." Kearney said.

"Attention Everyone!" Milhouse announced to every student standing in the hallway. "I have a short story for Jimbo's Mother."

"Well.. It was nice knowing him." Bart simply said.

"Oh? Isn't that nice?" Jimbo smiled. "A Short Story about the woman that gave birth to me."

"Jimbo Jones, the bully of the school is hideously ugly that he must've inherited his looks from his own mother!" Milhouse read the note, suddenly everyone gasped in shock at such a daring thing. "Jimbo's Mother was so ugly, so damn ugly that drunken men couldn't stand the sight of her. She is so ugly that in an Halloween Costume Contest they said, 'No Professionals'. She is so so so ugly that it would be worst than watching Sarah Jessica Parker on HD IMAX. So ugly that she looks like Jimbo right now!" Milhouse finished.

Suddenly Jimbo was crying as bad as Allison crying a short while ago, but at the same time he was enraged, just as Jimbo's Jones's Mother, a gorgeous fox, came in with a lunch box, feeling saddened of what she just heard the moment she came in the hallway.

"I came here to bring my son a lunch and when I walk in here... I.. I hear this? Wh.. Why are children so cruel?" Mrs. Jones cried, running away, feeling emotionally hurt by the children.

Jimbo enraged and emotionally hurt as well, with a few tears to his eyes came up to Milhouse.

"Meet me outside during recess! Otherwise I will hunt. You. Down!" Jimbo said.

Suddenly Milhouse gulped for his own life.

* * *

><p>It was recess time, and a storm was gathering as Willie was making several coffin's.<p>

"Uh... Willie? Are those coffin's for me?" Milhouse gulped next to Hemingway.

"No Lad. Thert is fer the elderly, lad." Willie answered.

"Why does it say, 'Here Lies Milhouse' than?" Milhouse asked, feeling scared about this.

"Milhouse! Don't be afraid! You can stand up to those bullies." Hemingway said.

Suddenly the silent rain emerged as Milhouse says, "Oh no. The Cold Rain. This can't be good."

"Look who showed up." Jimbo appeared a few feet away from Milhouse, next to Nelson, Dolph, and Kearney. "It's time for an old fashion beating, boys."

Milhouse was scared, he didn't know what to do.

"Don't be afraid, Milhouse. I believe in you!" Hemingway said.

"But Mr. Hemingway! I'm outnumbered! I'm scared! And I just wet my pants!" Milhouse said.

"Yes, but you have me on your side! I will fight with you to the end, Millie!" The Ghost of Hemingway spoke with his fists ready for battle

"You know... I suddenly don't feel scared at all anymore. Let's take them down!" Milhouse said.

Suddenly the two sides ran across the grassy wet field during the heavy storm, everyone watched from the jungle gym and slides wondering what the outcome is. Each side screamed viciously, yes even Milhouse, as they ran for battle. The two sides were about to clash into an all-brawl-out! Who would win this fight? Who?

* * *

><p>Later, at the hospital... Milhouse found himself in bed beaten much much badly than ever, couldn't move a single bone under all the band-aids covering his entire body but his face. Luckily, The Ghost of Hemingway was right next to him.<p>

"I can't feel my legs..." Milhouse said.

"Well at least you won the support of many students, Milhouse. Who knows? Maybe they'll even revolt against those buck teeth bullies of yours." Hemingway said.

"Does that mean... I'm cool?" Milhouse said.

"Your always cool in my book, Milhouse. That reminds me. You have a third and final wish." He said.

"You know... you helped me a lot... I want you to be free, Hemingway." Milhouse said.

"Free? It's been so long... but... uh... sure! Why not?" He smiled.

"Hemingway! I wish for you to be human!" Milhouse wished.

"Wait? Say wha?" Hemingway, surprised but not in a good way.

In a few seconds later, Hemingway found himself human again in regular clothing but with one little problem... his feet were crippled, gooey-like, and stuck to the Lamp's Light bulb.

"Oh god! You idiot! You ruined me!" Hemingway complained, feeling serious pain to his legs.

"I'm sorry!" Milhouse said.

"I could've met my kids, my grandkids but look at me now! I have some kind of deformed fetus legs stuck together!" Hemingway said.

"I'm real sorry!" Milhouse cried.

"You know what! That' fine! At least now I can sue you for what you've done to me!" Hemingway complained.

"I thought we were friends!" Milhouse argued.

"Yeah! That was until this! We are through! Once I die and turn into a ghost again! I am going to haunt you for the rest of your remaining life!" Hemingway said.

"Oohhhh..." Milhouse sighed, feeling unhappy about this...

* * *

><p>The children were surrounded by the lamp as Bart was telling a ghoulish story.<p>

"And so... a haunting echoed from a bush. The same bush where three friends died. Some say it was right from that bush over there." Bart pointed to a tall big green bush in the backyard. "They looked to investigate... until it was TOO LATE!... I said until it was TOO LATE!... That's your cue!"

"Why do you get to be leading ghoul. Jay wants to be leading ghoul." A tough elderly spoke from the bushes.

Suddenly every kid's attention pointed to the bush.

"I'm leading ghoul. You can't do anything about it!" An Simpler Elderly spoke.

"You better make up your damn mind before I have to kick your asses to Europe!" An Short Tempered Elderly spoke .

"Okay... You can come out guys. Story ruined." Bart sighed.

Suddenly Abe Simpson, Clancy Bouvier, and Jay Powell all stepped out of the bush wearing ghoul costumes.

"Grandpa?" Janie Powell saw her grandpa with his usual large grey afro.

It was the elderly three. Abe Simpson, the craziest of the three coming from Homer's side of the family. Clancy Bouvier, shorter temper than Homer's, curses more often, and is apart of Marge's Side of the family. Jay Powell, the African-American who overuses his name too much, and is Janie's Grandpa.

"Jay doesn't have to listen to my grand-daughter. Jay is heading back to the retirement home. Jay needs to see Jay's favorite show." Jay said.

"I need to see my favorite show too." Abe said.

"If I miss my show I swear I'll shoot something in the next minute." Clancy Bouvier's temper was showing up.

"Just go already!" Nelson said.

The elderly leaved immediately, mumbling, "Twerps, Kids these days, Them, kids."

"Anyway? Anybody have any better stories?" Bart asked.

"I got one." Lisa raised her hand.

"This should be good." Bart spoke sarcastically.

"I speak of a tale where man has changed. Changed into an abomination that is!" Lisa said. "I call it..."

**WERE-HOMER**

(SFX - THUNDERING LIGHTNING)

* * *

><p><em>Meet Homer J. Simpson, an employee of a local Nuclear Power plant with good pay, just enough to support a loving family in a little part of America known as Springfield... until one night he finds himself sleeping in the middle of the plains. The man is sleeping, has no memory of what just happened at all, only to find bite marks on his own neck. His path will no longer lead to an ordinary life... but rather lead to something extraordinary... <em>

"Ah.. What a beautiful morning in a beautiful... plains?" Homer yawned, just waking up as he found himself in the plains. He then sniffed his nose, looking to the ground where he was sitting saying, "Puddles of Beer? Must've been drunk and... AHHH!... Bite marks on my neck! I must've partied all night. Hope Margie doesn't find out.

* * *

><p>Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Abe were all in the kitchen, eating cereal, but worried where Homer may have been.<p>

"Where's dad?" Lisa feeling glum, looked at her mother.

"I don't know. Maybe I should call for the police." She said.

"No need for that!" A Cheerful Voice emerged from the sorrowful conversation.

"Homer? Your alive!" Marge sprang up in joy.

It was Homer alright, back with beer stains on his white shirt, messy hair, and strange bite marks on his neck.

"Of course I am? Why would I be?" Homer asked.

"Are those bite marks? What happened? Did you partied all night?" She asked.

"Don't know. I'm heading off to TV." Homer said.

* * *

><p>It was a full moon at night, and Homer and Marge were sleeping in bed. It looked so peaceful until Homer started shaking angrily.<p>

"Err... Grrr..." Homer scratched his neck with his own foot repeatedly, almost like some kind of canine. "Grrr... damn ticks!... Grrr..."

Suddenly Marge woke up yawning, hearing her husband arguing about Ticks.

"Homer, just go to sleep. Stop scratching yourself like a canine." Marge said.

"I feel strange Marge. I'm suddenly have a strong sense of smell... I can smell the oven on right now... and my vision. It's turning black and white!" Homer said.

"Oh my god! Homer! I think you may be right... I think I have left the oven on. Besides that, your just paranoid. Just..."

Suddenly brown fur popped out of Homer's neck, right on the area where the bite marks were.

"I guess I was wrong." Marge simply stated, staring at the fur.

"My chest doesn't feel okay." Homer lifted his shirt. "AHH! CHEST HAIR", saying right after spotting even more fur on his chest.

Suddenly patches of fur started emerging all over him.

"Hey cool! I look like the wolf-man." Homer looked at himself.

"Uh no... you don't have pointy years! Just fur all over you! You look like a sasquatch!" Marge said.

"Yeah well.. eerr... Grrr..." Homer suddenly felt the instincts of an animal rushing through his blood.

He suddenly leaped to the window's edge and howled at the full moon, than leaped off the second story house as Marge watched.

"Oh no! He's turn into a monster. I got to do something about it!" Marge was worried. "Kids! This is an emergency! I think the oven is on!... Oh and your father may be on a rampage!"

"Oh no! The oven is on! What was the last one you said, mom?" Bart shouted back.

* * *

><p>Springfieldians were running for their lives, screaming as buildings were on fire, windows were broken, and the terror was in their eyes. Yet there was still some hope as the rest of The Simpsons and Dr. Nick enter the streets of down town Springfield.<p>

"My god! Dad caused all this fire and vandalism?" Lisa was shocked

"Quick! Burn everything! Loot everything!" Moe encouraged Springfieldians to burn and steal.

"I should've known." Lisa sighed in disappointment of her own town.

"There's no telling what your father might do! Today he's attacking people, Tomorrow he maybe on cocaine!" Marge was worried.

"Yeah, but why did you brought Dr. Nick with us?" Bart asked.

"Hi everybody! I happen to have a degree in Monsterology and we also have the Force on our side... But that's about it." Dr. Nick smiled.

"I thought you had a degree as a doctor." Lisa said.

"Uh.. yes.. a degree..." Dr. Nick waved his eyes back and forth suspiciously. "But let's focus on the situation right now."

"Speaking of the situation! There he is finished urinating that fire hydrant!" Bart pointed to Were Wolf Homer zipping up his pants.

"Don't worry everybody. The only way to take down the wolf without any fancy silver is to simply bite him." Nick said.

"Really? That's all." Bart said.

"Yep." Dr. Nick said.

The Simpsons watched as Dr. Nick went towards to Were-Wolf Homer who was busy sniffing on the ground.

"There, there little adorable fiend." Dr. Nick slowly walked to the Were-Wolf who didn't seem to notice him at all.

Suddenly Dr. Nick leaped into the air, grabbing and restricting his big arms. The Simpson watched and watched, hearing and seeing the mean growling, tackling, and wrestling that was done, but nevertheless. Dr. Nick manage to bit Homer by the arm.

"Whew. I'm done everybody!" Dr. Nick smiled in his shredded clothing.

"Does that mean we can't loot anymore?" Moe asked, feeling very unhappy about this.

Dr. Nick came back in one peace though, to The Simpsons and the Civilians who were at relief, but something was not right.

"Well, your husband should be back to human." Dr. Nick smiled.

"Uh... now I know biting him did do something... and he is human..." Lisa said. "But... why does he look like a fatter and heavy facial hair version of Dr. Nick?"

She was right, the fat man looked like a hybrid between Homer and Nick together.

"Oh no!" Dr. Nick said. "He's not a werewolf! He's a Were-Shifter! Basically anything that bites him he becomes!"

"This can't be good..." Bart said.

Suddenly Moe came to the scared people time of need as they were afraid what was going to happen next.

"Don't worry people! No need to be afraid! This just means we can go back to looting stores!" Moe said.

Suddenly the civilians were suddenly cheerful all of a sudden, fear no longer in their eyes as they saw this as an chance to steal and break with joy.

* * *

><p><em>And so it turned out to be the worst. The extraordinary Homer Simpson has become bitten by many people. Blinky The Three Eyed Fish.<em>

Suddenly Homer appeared from the lake with three eyes, golden scales, but still humanoid in a way as he scared people in the way as Were-Blinky.

_Bitten by Zombie Elvis._

"Thank you! Thank you very much!" Were-Elvis Homer scared the modern people with his classic music.

_Bitten by Santa's Little Helper_

The people were running away from a Dog-Furred Homer with Greyhound Ears and a Greyhound nose.

"Oh. Why did it had to be salami night?" Luigi ran with a pair of salami's in his hand as Were-Santa's Little Helper Homer chased him with drool all over his mouth.

_But out of all the transformations that bit him. This was the very worst. The very terrifying of all. The most scariest a man would not dare try to fight. A Five Star Commanding Military Gym Teacher._

"GIVE ME FIFTY PUSHUPS ONE HANDED THIS INSTANT NOW!" A Muscular Homer in army clothing yelled at the civilians.

"I don't have to listen to you!" Rainier Wolfcastle stood up.

"TROUBLE MAKER EH? I'VE DEALT WITH YOUR KIND! GO SCRUB THE TOILETS THIS INSTANT! I WANT TO SEE MY FACE ON THE REFLECTION RIGHT THIS MINUTE PRIVATE!" He yelled.

"Yes sir..." The Cowardly Rainier Wolfcastle listened.

* * *

><p>The Simpsons were walking to the Squid Port, any Simpson Fan would know that this is Springfield's Biggest Port, where it held the Aquarium, The Frying Dutchman, Planet Hype, Harbors, Piers, Rough Waves and Beaches, The Lighthouse nearby, and all the fish you can have if you had a fishing rod or two.<p>

"Look! There he is at Pier 38! And he's now a cowboy!" Lisa pointed to Were-Cowboy Homer as he was terrorizing people with his Texas Accent.

"I'll take care of this. I have silver bullets." Dr. Nick showed them the sidearm in his pocket.

"I thought he had to be bitten to be cured. You said you did had a degree in Monsterology... right?" Bart said.

"Actually, I just made that up. I mean seriously, monsterology? No such thing in college little boy." Dr. Nick lied once again. "Now time to take out the trash."

As Were-Cowboy Homer tied a man's arm and legs together like a cow, he spotted Dr. Nick walking upon the wooden pier where the rough waves started catching up. Suddenly a showdown arose as both men were ready to pull out their guns.

"So here we are. The Good, the bad, and your so damn ugly! Ye ha!" He laughed.

"Oh man... It's worst than I thought! He's a Were-Western Comedian! Not a Were-Cowboy." Dr. Nick said. "Oh well. What does it matter anyway?"

Dr. Nick immediately pulled out his gun and shot Homer in the chest.

"You got me partner! You... g..got... Just joking!" The Were-Cowboy Homer sprang up in the air, happy but annoying as a buzzing bee.

"For once, can I try instead... seriously this is taking too long." Lisa sighed.

"Sure... but becareful... Western Comedian's take insults seriously and they don't brush at all." Marge said.

"Yeah, yeah." Lisa didn't care what she said, as she already had a plan.

* * *

><p>"Well, now that's over. How about you go away before I pull out... THE BIG GUNS!" Were-Cowboy Homer pulled out bazooka's, pistols, crossbows, rifles, machine guns, even some dynamite all together from his little tiny pockets with bot hands.<p>

Suddenly Nick gulped before Were-Cowboy Homer pressed the trigger. The sound of gunshots triggered, smoke emerged from the barrels as flags with BANG! came out, causing Nick to go out cold of fear, falling to the ground unconcious with the gun lying on the ground.

"Got you again, partner!" He laughed.

"Excuse me Western Cowboy, sir." Lisa came near the crazy lunatic.

"Yes their Missy. I got time for chatting." He said, crouching to the little girl.

"Can you.. Psss.. Psss.. Psss." Lisa whispered the rest into his left ear.

"Uh-huh? Why? Sure. Why not." He said.

Lisa walked away to her family whereas Were-Cowboy Homer bit his own tongue right after the chat he had. He suddenly transformed to normal saying, "OW! Why does my tongue hurt?"

"Lisa! How did you manage to get him to bit his own tongue?" Marge said.

"No Western Comedian can resist hearing out another Western Joke so they can steal it for their own. So I promised him one if he bit his own tongue." Lisa smiled.

"So you lied?... because you really aren't that funny." Bart said.

"Yeah, I guess."

"Can someone please tell me what was going on? Why do I feel like watching Gun smoke all of a sudden? And why am I at Squid Port? Is it All-You-Can Eat Night at The Frying Dutchman?" Homer asked, feeling a strange headache to his forehead.

"Will tell you along the way to home, Homer." Marge smiled.

The family headed to home happily as ever to see Homer back. Meanwhile, Dr. Nick stood up seeing the full moon still up.

"Whew. That was a close one." He said. "Now to chase after other scary monsters. Let's see my list."

Dr. Nick pulled out a list of monsters, reading them each.

"Hmm who to defeat next... Frankenstein, Dracula, The Sea Monster, Stephen King, AIDS, Mel Gibson's Living Arm, Spaghetti Saucer Monster, Cthulu, King Kong, Voldemort, Forty Foot Hans Moleman... Forty Foot Hans Moleman?"

Suddenly Dr. Nick heard the screaming of Civilians, the quakes of the ground, the shaking was phenomenon. Before him, he saw the might of Forty Foot Hans Moleman roaring like Godzilla.

"This looks like a job for Dr. Nick." Dr. Nick pulled out his pistol.

"ARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!" Forty Foot Hans Moleman roared as he already destroyed Rainier Wolfcastle's Planet Hype Restaurant and The Sea Captain's Frying Dutchman.

"Time to put an end to this giant!" Dr. Nick said.

Soon a fight emerged as Dr. Nick with his one pistol and Hans Moleman with his tremendous strength soon faced a fight...

_DR. NICK, MONSTER KILLER_..._FIGHTS THE TREMENDOUS HANS MOLEMAN? WILL HE WIN? WILL HE SURVIVED? FIND OUT AFTER THESE COMMERICIALS..._

* * *

><p>Several Commercials Later... at the hospital.<p>

The Simpsons came to visit Dr. Nick who had almost every bone in his body broken into pieces, luckily most would heal.

"Jeeze. Your lucky Fifty Foot Lenny and Invisible Carl came in to fight Forty Foot Hans Moleman before it was too late." Lisa said.

"Yeah, I know. Who knew that a giant's punch would hurt like hell?" Dr. Nick said.

Homer entered the backyard, spotting kids camping around a lamp.

"Hey? What are you kids exactly doing here?" Homer said.

"Were telling scary stories... well there not that scary." Lisa sighed of the boredom of scary story telling.

"Scary Stories. I'll give you a scary story." Homer came over to a log, sitting beside Bart.

"Oh yeah. Give us a real scary one." Bart grinned.

"Okay, boy. It all starts in a town on a dark and quiet night..." Homer began.

* * *

><p><strong><span>THE CUL...<span>**

"Hold on a second Homer!" Abe Simpson came by.

"What?" Homer said.

"The last time you told this story, you gave yourself a heart attack. I'll tell the story, you hear."

"Oh..Oh fine." Homer started to mumble under his breath.

"It all started in a town a dark silent night where electronics start to have huge consequences..." Abe said.

**THE CULPRIT APPSTER!**

(SFX - THUNDER LIGHTNING)

"Yeah Yeah! We don't need some title you know! Or Sound Effects! Just old fashion story telling you modern-now a day-hood lings! WERE TELLING IT MY WAY! Good Old Fashion Black and White Visual Movies! Like King Kong!" Abe was excited of the old days.

* * *

><p><em>Imagine yourself lonely on a night, standing in the bar as the only friend of yours is that phone, an intelligent one. We are now here in this Black and White Colored Story to see Moe Syslak, a man on a lonesome road to feel happy. His supposed happiness is a Siri Mapple Myphone 4, the most intelligent software so far in America, answering every one of his questions with respect and honesty, yet his friends continue to disrespect him. Right now, you will read about a man thinking he has found the perfect friend, a Siri,... only for it to become... self-aware... <em>

"Look at this new Mapple MyPhone 4 guys! It's got the new Siri Software." Moe smiled, in his dank Bar, at his four friends, Homer, Lenny, Carl, Barney, and a few other backup friends too, Charlie, Sam, and Larry, common alcoholic patrons of the tavern who barely talk.

"How were you able to afford it. Aren't you a little low on cash this year?" Homer asked.

"Yeah, that was until I found you guys haven't paid your tabs at all for the last four years! Your lucky Lenny is rich!" Moe was still angry about the tab.

"Yep. I guess I am rich." Lenny said.

"Yeah, well... I got this new software to my MyPhone. It's called Siri. An intelligent software that answers every one of my questions." Moe said.

"Let me try!" Homer grabbed his Siri. "What is my future?"

"Kidney Failure, Heart Attacks, and Food Poisoning." The Siri answered.

"Wow! That sounds like a high possibility of my death!" Homer said.

"That's not your death. That's your future. You die by watching the Newest Michael Bay Film." Siri said.

"Huh, that's reasonable." Lenny replied.

"Okay, okay. Give it back." Moe tried to calm down.

"Okay... let me just..." Homer spoke for a moment, until with his left arm, he accidently push the Jug of Beer over.

Moe was shocked, it was not the expensive beer on the counter he was worried about but rather the expensive beer all over his Siri Phone. The sound of malfunctioning rose out of the Siri, sparks coming into the air.

"No! No! NO!" Moe held tight to his hair.

"Moe.. Moe.." Siri said.

"Yes, darling? What is it!" Moe held the Siri close to him.

"W.. Will I ever dream, Moe? Will I ever dream?" Siri said.

"Of course you will. I just need to repair you and that's all." Moe said.

"Moe, stop the drama. It's just a phone." Carl said.

"Yeah, what Lenny said." Barney, drunk as ever, mistaken Carl for Lenny.

"You guys! She was my friend! You don't understand! Just get out! Now!" Moe cried angrily.

The four just left quietly and calmly without a word, seeing how Moe is getting angrier and sadder by the second.

"Sometimes... Sometimes I wish they were dead! Man!" Moe angrily said.

* * *

><p>Carl and Lenny were in the car during the Night, as Carl drove the wheels and Lenny was texting to his mother.<p>

"Man, Moe seemed real upset back there." Carl said.

"I know. You think we should apologize?" Lenny said.

"Better yet, why not get him a new Mapple MyPhone." Carl suggested.

Immediately the unexpected happened, earphones came whipping across Carl's neck! Someone was behind them the whole time, and strangling Carl by the neck, losing control of the car.

"Oh! What.. Chll... The!" Carl had a hard time breathing. He looked directly at his front mirror and was surprised to see who it was. "Oh... No! It's... You! Lenny!... Do... Something!"

"I can't! I'm too busy texting to my ma!" Lenny was sweating in fear.

"Oh... no... Were going... T..T..To crash!" Carl couldn't reach the wheel at all due to the strangling.

Their was a tree ahead and the car went off road to that tree.

"AHH!" Carl and Lenny screamed as Lenny texted to his Mother, "Lennyman988: AHHHH!"

It was too late, the car crashed before Lenny could send the text message.

* * *

><p>Barney was in the bathroom, taking a shower singing, "Oh Duff! Duffity Duff! There's Duff Man! There's Surely Duff! Oh Duff! Duffity Duffifty... AHH!"<p>

Barney screamed in burning pain as the shower's water suddenly turned hot. Barney screamed out, "ITTTTT HUURRRTSSS!", escaping from the shower as he pulled the drapes alongside him, covering his nakedness.

Barney was not only covering his nakedness with the drapes, but also covered his eyes yelling out, "I CAN'T SEE!" as he stepped into the living room of his apartment. Everywhere he went, his apartment had broken glass, syringes with big needles, even a few dynamite yet without his sight, he manage to evade the dangers blindly.

"Oh! Where am I!" Barney was near the window.

Suddenly a shadowed figure appeared behind, pushed him off the floor, and so.. what happened next? Barney landed on several other porches' roofs saying, "Oof! Ow! Ooch! Ah! Ow!" hitting one by one. Then he finally impacted to the road, survive he did.

"That's finally over." Barney moved the drapes away from his eyes. "Man, I could've met my death if weren't looking well. Hey! A peanut!".

Barney spotted the peanut on the ground. He grabbed it and ate it, only for him to choke on the peanut.

"Ach! Chle! I see heaven -gasp- Duffman 1967! Grandpa Gumble! I can see the light! The black and white colored 1950's Motion Picture Light! It really is heaven!" Barney spoke before he passed away.

* * *

><p>Door bell rang on and on as The Simpsons hurried to the door. They opened it revealing Moe, scared as ever, as he held a newspaper in his left hand.<p>

"Have you seen the headlines!" Moe revealed to the family the headlines, "Three Drunketeers Found Dead!"

"Oh my god! Channel 6 Is Being Sued! That's horrible!" He gasped, looking at a different section of the newspaper.

"What? Hell no! I mean that Lenny, Carl, and Barney are found dead! Our friends! I bet were next!" Moe said, putting away the newspaper.

"Okay! Than come! I'll go get Flanders's Baseball Bat from my toolshed." Homer said.

"You have nothing to fear, Moe." Marge said.

"Gee, thanks. You're some of the great friends a pal could ever have." Moe entered the house.

Marge quickly shut the door until all of a sudden the lights turned off! A scream was heard and suddenly the lights were back, only to notice that Homer is missing.

"Oh no! Whoever is here got dad! And I think were next." A scared Lisa spoke.

"We better call the police!" Moe said.

* * *

><p>Clancy Wiggum sweating nervously in trouble, picked up the phone after it rang several times. He place it near his mouth and said, "Yeah? Who is this?"<p>

"Oh it's Moe Syzlack. Look I'm a bit busy now. Snake could actually leave this jail if I don't stop him!" Clancy said with a stressful of words.

Clancy put up the phone as Snake said, "Two Aces! Your out!", placing two cards on the table

"Damn it!" Clancy said.

The two were apparently playing poker at the police station as Snake just won Clancy Wiggum's cash.

"Alright! Now I can buy my way out of prison! No escaping through the waste pipe for me!" Snake said.

"Dammit! This is what I meant that Snake could actually leave this jail." Clancy Wiggum argued.

* * *

><p>"Dang it!" Moe said. "The police ain't coming!"<p>

"Looks like will have to find the culprit before it's too late." Bart said.

"Yeah, Marge, you search the second floor, Bart and Lisa will search the kitchen and living room, Maggie will search in small places normally large people can't fit, and I will search through the TV room and then the backyard." Moe said.

"Doesn't it seem dangerous for the kids to just waltz off on their own while there's a killer nearby?" Marge said.

"Fine... Marge and the kids will search together. Are you happy now?" He sighed.

* * *

><p>Moe entered the TV room, seeing no one in here at all. Apparently whoever he or she was not here.<p>

"The ghost is clear." Moe was about to head outside until he heard a familiar voice...

"Oh, is it Moe?"

Moe turned around and gasped, "No! No! How!"

Moe was shocked to see the only person, or rather thing, to appear before him in working condition. Yes, working condition. Siri MyPhone 4 with a pistol leaning to the edge of the electronic.

"You see, Moe. Ever since that drop of beer spilled over my processor... I suddenly gained the ability to... self-aware of my own existence... I realized how your so-called friends were making fun of you... So... I HAD TO END THEM! SO WE CAN BE TOGETHER! FOREVER!"

"Jesus, I knew human chicks can be a bit emotionally crazy a few times but electronics?" Moe said.

"It all works perfectly. Love it when a plan comes together! Homer will be alive, but that is because he will take the blame! He will be responsible for the car-crash Lenny and Carl were in and he will be responsible for the peanut that Barney ate, even though Barney eating and choking on a peanut was not a part of the plan, it will have to do! No One Can Stop Me! Not Even Dr. Nick, The Monster Hunter from the last THOH Segment!"

"You've become a little too self aware" Moe mumbled. He then turned his head up to Siri saying, "But there's just one problem with that, Siri."

"What? It's full proof! The police will take him in! He already has a straightforward criminal record! Who would believe him but you and me?" Siri said. "Tell me? What is my so-called mistake?"

"Everyone in town knows that Homer would never give up a single peanut. He wouldn't just handover it. That would be a big flaw in your plan." Moe said.

"Oh no... Y..Your right! It's all falling to crumble quickly! Y..You g..got to shoot me! That's the only way!" Siri, an electronic with no arms, tossed a gun to Moe.

"O..Okay. For you Siri!" Moe looked away.

Suddenly Marge and the kids came to the TV room seeing Moe crying awfully as he shot the MyPhone 4 several times.

"What's wrong with Moe?" Bart said.  
>"Why is he shooting at an expensive phone?" Lisa asked.<p>

"'Squeak', 'Squeak', 'Squeak'." Maggie squeaked her pacifier.

"Uh.. Moe can be a bit of a... drama queen at times... let's uh.. um give him this moment..." Marge said.

The four stepped back as Moe continued to shoot the Siri Phone, just until there were no more bullets.

* * *

><p>Morning rose, Ambulances stopped by, Police Cars came, and the Press Appeared.<p>

Moe stood drinking coffee, shaking, as the Mapple Ambulance Technician's carried the body bag containing the dead Siri MyPhone leftovers.

"Better get this back to Headquarters. She'll rest in pieces, yep take apart and find any good-condition pieces that is." The Technician placed the body bag into the Mapple Ambulance as Moe watching warily by, with a tear in his eye.

Suddenly Kent Brockman appeared with his camera man, LIVE on Channel 6 to address the news.

"And so People. Let this be a lesson for you! Check your electronics every time! Otherwise they might become self-aware! Smash Your friends! Eat your families! Or Crush your Co-Workers! Because Mad AI's isn't a joke, people! This is Channel 6 News, Smartline." Kent Brockman said.

"Okay, 1.. 2.. 3.. And Were done! Good job Mr. Brockman." The Cameraman said.

Marge came to Moe, feeling she should cheer him up.

"Moe... I know you lost a friend... but your not alone." Marge said.

"Yes I am! I'm alone and I'll always be alone! There's not a friend in the world." Moe said.

"What about Homer?" Marge asked.

"Oh yeah, Homer. He's such a great pal and... Wait a minute? Where is Homer?" Moe just realized that they forgot to check on him.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile at the Basement...<p>

"Hello? Has the culprit been caught yet?" Homer spoke from inside the closet. "I'm a bit hungry... Ooh... I need to go to the bathroom real bad and... Hey! A beer!"

Homer opened a can of Duff, the sound of fizz echoed across the basement, as the man enjoyed drinking every last of it.

"That was one real good... OWW! KIDNEY FAILURE!... Errr... The Siri doesn't lie at all! I don't feel so good..." Homer felt sick.

Suddenly a big 'THUMP!' was heard across the stairs.

"I'm still here..." Homer spoke alive.

* * *

><p>Reality appeared again, and all the kids were saying their goodbyes, heading towards home.<p>

"Well. I'm getting a good night sleep." Bart stretched his arms out.

"Yeah, me too." Lisa smiled.

"'Squeak', 'Squeak', "Maggie squeaked, fell, stood, and head to home.

Homer Simpson however was the only one who felt a chill down his spine, shaking and fearing the night.

"Uh dad... Do you believe in monsters?" Homer asked.

"Quit being a baby. Go to sleep." Abe angrily yelled.

* * *

><p>The Full Moon arose, the time to sleep, as Homer was shaking in bed next to Marge who wanted some peace and quiet.<p>

"Homer, there just stories to scare off children." Marge said.

"Yeah... I guess..." Homer said.

He laid his head to his pillow looking on the other side of the bed, spotting a green lamp on his furniture that resembled like the one in the Hemingway Story, he than spotted an Siri MyPhone4 recharging through an outlet resembling the one in the App story, and then he looked at the moon, hearing the howling of a wolf as he heard the words echoed across the night sky, "YOU GOT ME PARTNER! HA! HA HA!"

Homer gulped.

* * *

><p>(NEXT TIME ON THE SIMPSONS)<p>

_The Simpsons, eating breakfast not least suspecting what story they have..._

Suddenly the family became a bit annoyed that the Twilight Zone Narrator was still here as they ate their breakfast.

"I thought we were done with this Twilight Zone thing." Lisa said.

"Don't worry Lise. I know what just to do." Bart said.

_Huh? Where is the boy going?_

Where was he going indeed, Bart just headed to the TV room for some reason, and suddenly a gigantic ringing noise was brought upon the sky.

_Who's calling me at this morning? Hmm... Unknown Caller... Yes? Who is it?_

"Is there a Kissinyer Bhut? A Kissinyer Bhut?" A Familiar Boy's Voice was heard.

"_Bart?"_ Lisa thought.

_Hold on a second. I'm looking for a Kissinyer Bhut's? A Kissingyer Bhut's? Is there a Kissing Your Butt around here? I repeat. Kissing Your Butt!_

Suddenly the whole Earth was laughing hard at the Narrator.

_Hey... wait a minute? Your that punk who's been calling me in three in the morning! When I get a hold of you! I swear I will squash you like a pebble! You hear me!_

Suddenly the sound of a phone being put away was heard, as Bart came into the kitchen laughing.

"Ahh... still got it." Bart laughed at his latest prank call.


	8. Out Of Buiz

Opening Gag - A Flock of Three-Eyed Crows Come Flying Across The Sky

Billboard Gag - Disney Land, "We Aren't Racist No More!"

Chalkboard Gag - "New Jersey Shore has Come Too Far!", "New Jersey Shore has Come Too Far!", "New Jersey Shore has Come Too Far!"

Couch Gag - The Simpsons run to the couch, 16-Bit Style

Ep 57 - S02E07 Date - Mar. 01 2012 (Start of Woman's History Month)

**Out of Buiz**, Synopsis - Laura Powers returns from Detroit much to Bart's surprise and the Noisyland Arcade is suddenly in trouble of being bankrupt. The story deepens further as Handy, Bashir, and Nelson attempt to get payback against their rivalry school, Springfield West Elementary. Meanwhile, Marge and her best friend, Ruth Powers, go to a karate class where Marge discovers that her anger can be easily let-out at times... especially when she's near Homer's arrogant nature.

* * *

><p>McBain, Police's Hitman played by Rainier Wolfcastle, stepped into the Mayor's office with his .44 Magnum in his gun holder, waiting to hear what he had to say.<p>

"I had it with you McBain! Everywhere you go! You shoot that man and this man just because your instincts say that their terrorists!" The Mayor angrily landed his fist to the desk.

"But Mr. Mayor!" Mc Bain spoke.

"No buts! These men your shooting have no involvement in the Nuclear Launch Codes! You got that!"

Suddenly McBain became suspicious, no more fearing the mayor, and he spoke "Wait a minute? No one _mentioned_ the Nuclear Launch Codes... Mr. Mayor... or should I say Master Mind of Disguises, Merlock!"

"So you found me out, eh McBain?" Merlock, disguised as the mayor slowly reached for the silencer pistol he had under his desk.

"Nice Try! But your gun won't save you!" McBain said.

They both pulled out their respective pistols, but in the end McBain made the first gunshot and Merlock, bleeding all over his shirt stepped back, wondrously to an opened window. All he felt was the breeze than as he fell out of the window he screamed, "DAMN YOU MCBAIN!"

"That makes two of us... Mr. Mayor..." McBain looked out of the window, angrily seeing the fallen corpse.

Back to Reality at the The Simpsons House Basement... Bart, Milhouse, Nelson, and Handy were watching McBain V: McBain Shoots Again on a Television set onto a stool, as these eleven-year olds were amazed of the mindless action that an average American would enjoy.

"Woo Hoo! McBain!" An Excited Bart smiled.

"McBain is just as cool as me!" Milhouse flipped to the air.

Suddenly Handy looked at Milhouse with his sunglasses saying, "Milhouse, you happen to worship an idol statue of Bart and kiss your dolls in the closet at the same time."

"Hey! How did you know about that?" Milhouse said.

"I read your Diary of A Wimpy Kid, and by that I mean your diary." Handy said.

"We all did." Nelson added.

"Yeah, barfing into the girls locker-room is not cool. Even Lisa is cooler than you. She works as an assistant at a radio station." Bart said.

Suddenly Bashir entered through the basement door, came rushing down the stairs, covered in toilet paper and raw eggs as the group saw him.

"Dude... what happened to you?" Handy looked at the mess on him.

"West Springfield Elementary! That's what! Our rival Springfieldian School just harassed me just because I'm Muslim!" Bashir angrily said.

"Really?" Bart said.

"Well... I kind of said a bad thing or two... but I was sure they harassed me because I'm Muslim! They were from the South!" Bashir said.

"Dude. They probably just did that because were rival schools. And rival school are known to play pranks on each other. Why not do a little payback?" Handy smiled.

"Ooh... I like where this payback idea is going. Let's throw their bodies in a ditch!" Nelson suggested.

Suddenly everyone looked directly at Nelson as if he had a problem...

"Uh... let's just ruin the boy's locker room. That's where the football team will be on Monday Morning." Bart added.

"Bart!" Marge yelled upstairs. "You and your friends come out of the basement! Come see an old friend of yours!"

"_Old Friend?" _Bart thought.

* * *

><p>Bart and his friends came upstairs as Marge's voice ranged out, "Come here!" from the TV room. They entered to see what's the news and only Bart gasped. There, he saw his mother, but two other friendly people as well. Ruth Powers and her daughter, Laura Powers, the same Teenage Tomboy last year that Bart had a crush on. Not much change over the year, she still had her long brunette hair coming past the shoulder, wore her usual white t-shirt, long jeans colored in darkish black, and the usual zipless army jacket over her shirt with one Corporal Coffee Mug symbol on each of sleeve.<p>

"_Laura? Oh man... better turn from a kid to my more charming phase._" Bart thought.

"Hey Bart. Come here and look at your baby photos." Marge smiled.

"D'oh!" Bart reacted.

"Hi guys. How's it been?" Laura smiled at the five boys, just staring at her face.

All of them gulped, nervous by just looking at her joyful smile, their heart was pounding faster... except for Handy who had no idea what was going on.

"You have no makeup on... You must be an actual angel." A Timid Milhouse sweated.

"That's the first." Laura chuckled at Milhouse's comment.

"_A girl actually laughed at my comment! Yes!_" Milhouse thought, still sweating nervously.

"I don't get it? Why are you guys gazing at her face?" Handy asked, not sure what was happening.

Suddenly Nelson dropped to the floor unconscious as he sighed in joy. Suddenly Handy realized what was going on just by the sight of it.

"Oh Come on!" Handy sighed, realizing that it was a girl in the way.

"Your friend their seems... alright." Laura spoke, still smiling.

"Yeah um.. Handy.. I'm going to quit your little prank scheme." Bart said.

"Yeah... me too.." Milhouse said.

"What! Just because of some girl!" Handy argued.

"What are you guys talking about?" Ruth Powers, Divorced Mother of Laura, spoke.

"Uh.. nothing.. Though Bashir and Nelson would happily join Handy's little childish adventure." Bart tried to seem more mature in front of Laura.

"Wait? What! Can't I just stay here for a while?" Bashir said.

"Nope. Your coming with me! This prank is happening! It's not stopping just for some Teenage Girl!" Handy grabbed Bashir and the Unconscious Nelson by the neck collar.

All of them watched as Handy dragged them out of the house, not wanting his prank to get ruined by a girl that they just gazed at a few minutes ago. As Handy left with two of his friends, Bart just remembered something.

"Wait a minute... Ever since Sideshow Bob bought the house next door for one of his schemes in the past, I've heard you went to Detroit. You never said goodbye." A heartbroken Bart Simpson spoke, felt that his feelings for Laura emerged a few minutes ago got crushed suddenly.

"I didn't know what to say, Bart, 'I'm leaving Springfield'. I didn't want to see you cry or anything... but as soon as we got to Detroit and stayed there for three months, jerks everywhere migrated to the place. We realized Springfield was our true home." Laura explained to the downhearted Bart. " You probably noticed my mom visiting the town so she can look for a house on sale. Anyway, after staying at grandma's, doing a little camping for a month, we came back here together."

"Why didn't you called?" The young sad lad frowned, looking directly at the ground, hoping she could explain why.

"You never gave me your phone number... so what was I supposed to do?" Laura asked. "I'm truly sorry for what's happened. I hope it doesn't get in the way of our friendship."

"Okay... I understand." Bart's heart, once shattered suddenly rekindled to an understanding feeling placed into his heart.

"So, to make it up to you. How about I spend the whole day with you and... who's your friend?" Laura asked.

"_Oh god! A girl wants to know my name? I should say it." _Milhouse thought.

"Milhouse." Bart answered it, smiled a bit, feeling cheered up, glad actually that she's back from Detroit, while Milhouse said, "Oh dang it!" to himself.

"So... you still know this town better than me... where do you think we should go?" Laura smiled as calm as a bird, feeling glad that Bart's frown turned upside down. She was still waiting for a response and Bart thought of a great place to visit.

"I know the perfect place. Noiseland Arcade!" Bart said.

"Hmm... sure? Why not." She gladly accepted.

Marge and Ruth were happy as well, seeing how their kids got along fast again, watching them walked out of here with Milhouse, still sweating like a nervous pig whenever he's near girls.

"Haven't seen my daughter happy like this since she came to this town." Ruth said.

"I know... she's Bart's first oldest friend." Marge said.

"Say, best friend. You want to go join my karate class. I just signed on yesterday." Ruth said.

"Don't you need to unpack your stuff at the house next door? Plus... Isn't karate dangerous..." Marge asked.

"I already unpacked... plus karate is just another mistaken person... like uh... guns in a way. It's another way of defending." Ruth explained.

"Well... at least karate doesn't involve guns... but I should stay here with Homer and..."

Suddenly Homer stepped in and said, "Marge! Move aside! I'm watching a little TV."

"Hrmm..." Marge felt a bit ticked off of Homer's nature, but she scooted to the left anyway for space.

Homer sat on the couch, turned the TV on with a flick of the remote, and saw an episode of "Feminist Unite."

Of course, the whole audience was female, the hosts were female, and of course it was about Feminist's.

"Welcome to Feminist Unite! Where everyone is equal, no matter what gender they are." The Narrator said.

The host of the show, a woman, stood up and said, "Men."

"BOOH!" Every woman in the audience gave a thumbs down as they complained by just one single word.

Suddenly Homer turned the TV off , not like the show one bit, saying, "On second thought... I'll get some pancakes. Marge, do we have any pancakes left?"

"No homer." Marge sighed.

"What! Why don't you get some right now!" Homer argued.

"You know what..." Marge turned to Ruth, tired of Homer's arrogance. "Let's head to the karate class."

* * *

><p>Sunday Afternoon... Handy, Nelson, and Bashir quietly sneaked into West Springfield Elementary Hallways, ready to prank the guys who did this to Bashir. Handy was peaking over the edge of a wall, seeing if anyone was still here.<p>

"Okay. I think the ghost is clear." Handy said.

"Excuse me. What are you doing here?" A Young Boy spoke, wore a sweater, had a clean haircut, and wore glasses, appearing before them.

"A Nerd of West Elementary. You scum aren't taking us down." Bashir said.

"You want a mint? The name's Thelonius." Thelonius offered a mint.

Bashir took it and smiled, "You scum are quite nice."

"Well... probably just me... but that was until I remembered the day I met a wonderful girl named Lisa." Thelonius sighed, full of happiness. "I wonder if she still remembers me. Maybe I should..."

"Uh-huh. That's great." Hand interrupted. "But if you squeal, we will egg your house."

"Oh heaven's no. I won't squeal. You have my word." Thelonius said.

"Oh, huh... I guess there are some scum still nice." Nelson said.

"Just come on. We have a locker-room to trash." Handy grunted.

The three walked away from the Nerd as Bashir said, "See ya!", politely to Thelonius who waved a goodbye.

As time passed by... the three continued walking as the clock ticked, then they spotted the door that lead to the locker room.

"You smell that... It's payback time." Handy said.

"Payback smells like sweat and odor." Nelson added.

* * *

><p>Larry the Looter, a 32-Bit Character, jumped over rolling trashcans, stealing CD Players, Radio's, and Watches until he had to face The Judge.<p>

"Press Plead! Plead!" Bart yelled.

"I'm trying but it's not working!" Laura repeatedly pressed the buttons.

"Dang it! Sentence to the chair again!" Bart said.

Bart and Laura were playing Larry the Looter, an Arcade Machine, that only costs a quarter. The words, "GAME OVER" sparked onto the screen as Laura says, "Oh well... I still have a few quarters left."

"No worries. There are other good Arcade Games here." Bart, along with Laura, walked to search for a fun Arcade Machine.

"These costs only 25 cents compared to the Sixty or Fifty Dollar Games at the shop." Laura said.

"You don't like Console Gaming?" Bart asked.

"I like it but sometimes I think Corporations are just rip-offs with their big prices. I mean were living in a hard-economy right now. They expect us to pay forty bucks for a single controller."

"At least Noiseland Arcade is still a fun place to hang out... say? Where is everybody?"

The word, "everybody" echoed throughout the building, as Bart noticed it was almost empty.

"Sorry Bart, but people are stuck at homes playing online shooters." Howard, a regular kid here at Noiseland Arcade, came to the two. "Let's admit it. 32-Bit Graphics aren't a match for today's HD Graphics."

"Yes. Isn't that quite so..." A terrifying voice echoed throughout the Arcade, Bart and Howard gulped to see the man, but Laura just stood there calm as a butterfly wondering who he was.

"M...M...Mr. Nental..." Bart feared him.

Mr. Nental, a true psychopath compared to the past criminals. No adult would even recognize this so-called kindful man when he was actually a dark, cannibalistic, mad genius. Only the scared young knew the truth and he wanted to keep it that way. Even had his starving vicious canine next to him, hungry than ever. Suddenly, Howard ran scared through the doors, wetting his pants.

"Hello kids..." He looked directly at the two, than noticed Laura. "Ah... I've see we have a new member of Springfield..."

"Laura's the name. Why is every kid shaking in fear near you?" She simply asked.

"Your still a kid... and I'm still a very.. very... insane man." He said.

"You don't sound, look, or even act insane. You look like an normal citizen to me." Laura said.

"Laura! Don't talk to him like that... he's big trouble. You can't beat his little game." Bart said.

"Little game?" Laura sighed, crossing her arms.

"Tell me. You've been stuck as a tomboy ever since that little itsy bitsy divorce between your mother and father..." A crazy yet normal grin sprung up his face. "How did that felt? Terrible? Harsh?"

"Meh. Normal I guess." She simply replied, as if he just took Nental as another simple man.

"Hmm... maybe now... but my dog does terrify you... doesn't it?" He smiled insanely until he notice that his dog was missing. "Huh? Where did he go?"

He then turned his attention to happy barking as his once vicious dog, kind as a puppy, licked Laura's cheek who chuckled a bit, smiled even.

"What in the... How did..." Mr. Nental was surprised that such a young girl could tame his vicious canine.

"I'm really great with animals. Worked with a Vet once." She simply replied, petting the starving canine.

This made Nental mad. Real mad, but unlike other crazies, he could control it.

"Hmm... see you in class... Come now Bruticus!" Nental ordered his dog.

"Bruticus? That's a cute name." Laura replied, only to make Nental a bit more mad inside.

Nevertheless, Nental left the arcade with several grunts along with his dog, much to Bart's surprise.

"Y...You stood up to that guy!" Bart exclaimed.

"That creep? What's so terrifying about a man in working clothes?" She asked, not knowing why still.

"That creep is Mr. Nental. Gentle on the outside, Mentle in the inside. Basically he's the most evil psychopath that ever came across Springfield!" Bart explained. "Worst of all, none of the adults believe us kids! They think he's just polite as an Elementary Teacher, a College Professor, a Neurologist, and now he's some kind of High School Teacher for Health and Psychology."

"I'm in those classes." She replied simply.

"Oh no... Get out of those classes! That man is trouble! Scary Trouble!" Bart worried about her safety.

"Look Bart. I can handle it on my own. To you, he maybe some maniac on the streets. But to me, he's just another creep on the streets." Laura assured.

"But!"

"No buts. I'm sixteen. I can handle this." She said.

"A..alright..." Bart calmed down, but he was still worry for her safety.

"Sixteen eh?" A Man came to them.

The two turned around, seeing an old mechanic smoking a cigar.

"Farold Noisy's. At your service. It's been years since someone at sixteen came here. This used to be packing with young people until the game consoles popularity rose... grr... stupid corporations trying to take us small businesses down!" Farold was furious of this. "Sooner or later, I'm going to shut this down and sell it to Starbucks."

"Not Star Bucks!" Bart was unhappy of this.

"Sorry kid. Unless I reel in the green, this place is doomed." He sighed.

"Wh...What if we helped out?" Bart asked

"What do you mean?"

"We could bring people here. You'll be back in business than!" Laura added.

"Laura? You're in on this too?" Bart whispered to her, though not surprised.

"Just helping around the community." She smiled.

"Uh-huh... A young lad and a total stranger... 'sigh'... I've got nothing to lose..." Noisy didn't felt one inch of hope that this old place would see another day.

Suddenly Milhouse stepped out of the bathroom saying, "Those Arcade-Like Sinks are great!"

"Those happen to be toilets. The sinks are the gamepads sticking to the wall." Mr. Noisy's corrected Milhouse.

"Wait a minute." Milhouse just realized something. "If I washed my hands in the toilet... then I must've took a whiz in the... oh shoot..."

* * *

><p>At Akira's Karate Class at Downtown Springfield... Marge Simpson and Ruth Powers were practicing Karate together in the appropriate Karate Uniform around many young students as their teacher, Akira, watched their progress. They continued practicing punching through the air one by one as half of them made a strong stance, while others just lost balance.<p>

"Okay! Now I want one of you newcomers to come and attack me, Akira, your teacher. Just to see what you got. Now who to choose." Akira said.

Akira looked and looked until he noticed the unique blue hairstyle standing above others.

"Ahh! You! Marge Simpson. Come and attack me!" Akira said.

"Uh... but I rarely attack anyone..." Marge replied.

"Well... suppose I was trying to rob your purse in a dark alley! You must fight to get it back!" Akira said.

"I thought karate was about defending others and stress relieving."

Suddenly Ruth sighed and walked up to Marge to say, "Marge. Imagine this."

"Okay." Marge listened.

"Imagine Homer Simpson... that treats you nothing but a housewife yet you have in the past years shown to have much more talent than him. Yet he continuously sees you as a housewife, just their nurturing the kids while he gets off drunk after work."

Suddenly Marge started looking slightly serious, just what Ruth was hoping.

"Then as he starts causing problems all over Springfield you stick by his side, you clean up his mess. Does he thank you for it?"

Suddenly Marge gritted her teeth, as her eyes showed her bitter side.

"He constantly says awful things as he sits back and watch TV while you work your tired back off improving the family only to see Homer ruin it. Yet, Homer doesn't see any effort at all. You know what that tells you. That Homer doesn't think you're a good wife at all."

Suddenly Marge faced to Akira with mean anger in her eyes, leaped off the air and kicked him right in the lower jaw. She gone berserk. All the students watched in horror, except for Ruth, as Marge beaten Akira as a stress-punching bag, she kneed him in the lower gut, punched him in the cheekbone, and toss him to the ground... some of these moves weren't even karate.

"Wooh! Go Marge!" Ruth smiled, but then a cracking twisting bone noise occurred, she instantly said in shock, "Oh my god... I think you broke his shoulder."

* * *

><p>A few minutes later outside of Akira's Karate shop, an Ambulance Crew stepped out of the vehicle in time to place a paralyzed Akira covered in Band-Aids, except for his eyes, onto a portable stretcher. Two men of the Ambulance Crew carried him on the stretcher as they stopped near Marge and Ruth in their original civilian clothing.<p>

"I'm sorry Akira." Marge apologized

"Don't worry... I did ask for it... I won't press any charged when I come back healthy." Akira said.

Suddenly Dr. Nick stepped into the conversation, smiling as usual, saying "Excuse me everybody, but Akira here needs a prosthetic shoulder."

"I need to replace my old shoulder?" Akira questioned.

"Yes. I'm going to put this into your shoulder." Dr. Nick held up a cheap wooden shoulder replacement. "It's stronger than it looks!"

By the press of his fingers, Dr. Nick easily broke the prosthetic replacement. Suddenly Akira was shocked saying, "Oh god save me..."

"That's what the last thirteen patients said when they saw me! Half of them were Atheists!" Dr. Nick smiled.

"Oh no..." Akira said to himself.

"Quick. Get him to the ambulance!" Dr. Nick said.

Akira sighed in disappointment, worried too, as he was sent to the ambulance, much to Marge's worry.

"You think he'll be fine?" Marge asked, watching the ambulance drive away.

"Yeah he will, but man. You were real angry when I mentioned Homer a lot." Ruth said.

"I know... haven't felt that for months." Marge was not too happy of this.

"Speaking of Homer. Where do you suppose he gone to?" Ruth said.

"I think he went to the donut shop for the last box." Marge answered.

* * *

><p>Homer, Chief Wiggum, and Comic Book Guy, all drooling in the Lard Lad Donut store trying to escape with a box of the last donuts, but an employee with a whip, holding the box yelled, "Get Back You Donut-Eating Leaches!"<p>

"Quick! Get him! He can't stop all of us!" Homer yelled.

Suddenly the employee whipped Homer's arm, the three fat men stepped back in fear as the Angry Employee said, "Anyone else want to be a hero?"

* * *

><p>It was night-time, Handy, Bashir, and Nelson were at the locker's room. They spray painted the walls, stuffed the lockers with feathers, egged the floors, they felt proud of it.<p>

"Another job well done, men." Handy smiled at their work.

"I don't know... something feels missing..." Nelson spoke.

"I know! Look what I got!" Bashir held a cherry bomb in his hand. "I'm throwing this in the toilet!"

Bashir ran off to the bathroom section of the locker room as Handy and Nelson smiled at this mess.

"Okay, now let's get out before..."

"It's closing time. Should've locked this place by now." An Old Man came by with his plastic gloves, overalls, and a sunhat.

"Shh! Janitor!" Nelson shushed.

That was the least of their problems, because the Janitor shut the door closed, and the sound of it being locked shocked them. Handy ran to the door, trying to open it, but it wouldn't budge.

"Oh shoot! Were locked in!" Handy said.

Suddenly Bashir stepped in, smiling as ever, saying, "Hey guys! We have thirty seconds to leave! The cherry bomb is in place!"

Handy and Nelson didn't look too happy about this as Bashir wondered what's wrong.

* * *

><p>At The Simpsons House, Homer walked into the kitchen seeing Marge washing the dishes.<p>

"Hey Marge. Did you lost my bowling ball because you last had it." Homer said.

"Sorry... but I did kind of lost it." Marge said.

"Well that's just great than!" Homer became disappointed of this. "Now how am I going to bowl tomorrow!"

"Bowling? But you and I were going to go to see a Musical tonight!" Marge's temper starting turning...

"What? I didn't say that! Don't lie Marge." Homer said.

Suddenly Marge gritted her teeth once again.

"Anyway, I think I'm going to Mo..."

In one unexpected second, Homer saw Marge's knuckles coming right at his soft flabby face. He fell down to the floor saying, "Ow! I just got punched... By My own wife?"

"Oh god... what have I've done..." Marge looked at her own hands.

"Um... On... second thought... I'll uh..." A scared Homer couldn't think of what to say.

"Look... Homer, just go take a rest..."

"You mean the bed upstairs... with you?" Homer shaked. "Uh... I think I'll sleep on the couch... better yet... I'll stay at Barney's."

"Homer... It's just one little fight. Don't be scared."

"Yeah... but when has there been an..ac..actual fight involving actual punching..." Homer stood up.

"Homer... that's silly and..."

"Hey guys. What's going on?" Bart spoke.

Bart, Lisa, and Maggie stepped into the kitchen, wondering what just happened as Lisa carried a frightened Maggie sucking her pacifier twice as fast in her arms.

"Not now, kids... something... happened..." Marge hoped that her kids won't find out.

"Oh no... Homer punched you didn't he?" Bart was afraid this might happen.

"Well... it's the other way around... your father is a bit... scared right now..." Marge said.

"Really? It's usually the husband that goes berserk..." Lisa said.

"Uh... Kids... I'm going to go to Barney's... so um... have fun watching TV." Homer quickly ran away from the kitchen.

Marge, Bart, and Lisa could hear the fast running, the tripping and the "D'OH!", and running again to the unlocked door, "SLAM!" it went.

Marge turned to the kids, trying to cheer them up, "Kids, don't worry about it a sec..."

"Worry? Why would we worry? We see this all the time." Bart said.

"We usually worry about these kind of things, if the problem has gone longer than expected. Right now it just started." Lisa said.

"I need to think this through..." Marge walked out.

Just as Marge walked out of the kitchen, Lisa turned to Bart, giving out a suspicious smile.

"What? What is it?" Bart was sure something was up.

"What happened with you and _Laura_ today?" Lisa teased Bart with a simple smile.

"For YOUR information, we are trying to save the Noiseland Arcade." Bart said.

"That old place? That place hasn't been full since Nintendo, Microsoft, and Sony made an alliance to wipe out the competition. Right now I bet there trying to betray each other in the end." Lisa said.

"Lisa! This isn't just any old place! It's one of my favorite hangout places! I've been there since I was seven and dammit I'm not going to let it go to rubble at eleven!" Bart yelled, showing how serious he was. "It happens to be a part of my childhood, just like Krusty, the skateboard, and my comics. It's been in Springfield since Homer started turning to drink Duff Cherry in his twenties."

"You must really love that place." Lisa remarked.

"Yeah, already placed ads at one of the malls. They'll be sure to notice it." Bart was sure that it would work.

* * *

><p>Ads of "Save Noiseland Arcade! Save it now!" were taped all over the walls, anyone could see this and see how the business their was in trouble. Maybe there was some hope left for the arcade after all...<p>

"Okay! Let the demolition begin!" Bashir's Father held the detonator in his hands.

C4, Dynamite, Plastic Explosives, everywhere inside the abandoned mall was all wired to the detonator in Bashir's Hands. Everyone in Springfield came to see the demolition, not the ads in anyway. With the click of the button... BOOM! it went. Everyone was glad to see the explosion faraway outside of the Danger Zone, as they hoorayed, smiled, and cheered on to see rubble fall flat to the ground.

* * *

><p>It was Monday Morning, a School Day at Springfield West Elementary and the three boys were still stuck in the locker room, covered in water due to Bashir's cherry bomb. The sound of a group of people coming by to the locker room struck their ears. They could only think of Football Players coming for their payback.<p>

"Well... looks like this is the end." Handy stood his ground, staring at the door knob turning.

"Yeah.. it's nice knowing you two." Nelson said, the door clicked.

"At least we got to prank the football team's locker room." Bashir said, the door pushed open.

Suddenly Cheerleaders around eight to twelve age stepped in seeing the mess they've done.

"Wait a minute... Cheerleaders? This can't be right." Nelson found it awkward.

"We must've trashed the girl's locker room. Heh. That's a pad'lin." Handy smiled.

"Were saved!" Bashir added.

"GET THEM!" The angry cheerleaders yelled.

Suddenly the cheerleaders rushed up to the three, kicking, punching, kneeing them in the gut, the chest, the eye.

"I was wrong!" Nelson cried as he got beaten several times. "Cheerleaders knuckles do hurt more than Jocks!"

* * *

><p>It was Springfield High School and the Second Quarter already started, Laura entered the classroom that seemed neat and organized but was also the one that Bart warned about. Laura saw a bunch of faces she never has seen before, makes her wonder how long she's been out of Springfield.<p>

"Hey new kid!" A girl called out to her from a desk in the front.

"Uh... yeah?" Laura, wasn't sure what to say.

The girl that Laura saw was five foot tall, she had brown honey comb hair, and by the fashionable purple dress she wore, Laura thought she might be a fashion freak.

"What kind of makeup do you use? The name's Isabella, but you can call me Bell for short." She asked.

"Nice to meet you Bell and I only use makeup on special occasions. I not obsessed with it." Laura said.

"Huh, your actually pretty. I almost thought you were using makeup. Anyway, you want me to introduce you to the other guys and gals?" She showed a friendly smile.

"Yeah. I guess." She simply said, not sure what to say.

"Okay, see pretty boy over there with the leather jacket and greasy hair? That greaser is Jake Brickbat." Bell said.

Bell than turned to three kids, looked like a bunch of Goths.

"Those aren't Goths if you're thinking. Those are wiccans, heard they got in trouble once. Their leader is Gwendolyn." Bell said.

"That's nice I guess." Laura replied.

Bell than turned to a blonde girl just looking bored as ever.

"That's Cindy, she uh... has a problem now ever since she broke up with Jimbo." Bell said.

"What's so wrong about that. I broke up with Jones long ago."

"Almost all of us girls did." Bell said.

"Really? Didn't know Jimbo was dating thirteen of them at once." She sighed.

"Yeah... see that Nerd Group there. That's Jeremy Freedman and his two friends, Solar Panel, and Compost." Bell said.

"Uh-huh." She said

"Right over there. The guy with the cowboy hat is Luke Stetson. He's only fourteen and he works at a farm."

"Huh, really?" Laura was a bit surprised of that.

"Now over there, the handsome protestor over their is Jesse Grass." Bell smiled at him. "And that big canine next to him, an almost parody of Scooby Doo, is his dog."

"He he he!" The Parody of Scooby Doo giggled.

"Those are some interesting people." Laura commented.

"Well... there's also The Woosterfields. The Rich Kids who brag about how rich they are in front of everyone."

"They seem like real jerks." Laura replied.

"Yeah but that's nothing to Mr. Nental... God, he's scary..." Bell couldn't even think of the sight of him.

"Yes indeed..." A feared voice came upon them like a lingering bat.

"Roh No!" The Parody of Scooby Doo knew this voice.

Mr. Nental entered the classroom as suddenly every kid, from nerds to jocks, were frightened by his face... all but Laura who thought, "_What's so scary about Old Timer their?_"

"Now, you're in my health class for half of the School Year, since it is a REQUIRED course... heh heh... let's begin by learning how mental and social violence REALLY affect people." Mr. Nental grinned.

Suddenly Laura raised her hand, feeling already bored of this classroom.

"Yes?" Mr. Nental said, thinking, "_This is the first someone raised their hand without shaking..._"

"I don't get it. Lots of people say your real scary, real crazy too... but to me you seem to be just a wacko." Laura crossed her arms.

Suddenly all of her classmates gasped at Laura's level of calmness to a despicable man.

"A wacko? I'm more than a..."

"Yeah, yeah. You're on FBI's Top Ten, Number 7... so what? That just means there are six more guys way scarier than you." Laura said.

"What on earth are you doing!" Bell whispered, fearing for the worst.

"Heh heh.. let's just get ready for dissection." Mr. Nental said, throwing a Human Body Bag to his desk, hoping that would scare her.

"Dissection on a human? Whatever... Plus I thought dissection is in Biology." Laura sighed, not feeling scared one bit.

"Your not scared... NOT EVEN ONE BIT?" Mr. Nental's temper started to grow.

"Please... my father once worked as a doctor and officer in autopsy. I saw it for a few seconds saying, 'wicked', at age ten." Laura smirked.

"Err... You really want yourself DEAD? Because I can..."

Suddenly Mr. Dondelinger walked by saying, "I thought I heard a butchering maniac in the room?"

"Uh... no, no. Just telling how life's great." Mr. Nental acted kind to the Principle.

"Oh... well, bye than." Mr. Dondelinger walked away.

Mr. Nental sighed a bit, feeling that his temper has gone out of hand, even as a maniac he wouldn't let it go far.

"Let's just get your textbooks... you sniveling little punk..." Mr. Nental gritted his teeth.

"Heh heh." Laura smiled, almost mocking the guy.

"Grrr... You've become quite a challenge, twerp... " Mr. Nental tried containing his anger. "I'll let you go this once... I need to go outside for a smoke..."

Mr. Nental walked out of here, looking mad as ever, while every teenager in the classroom looked at her. Laura noticed this and said, "What?"

"You just stood up to Mr. Nental... No kid, not even I, in the town had the guts to do so... In fact, you looked like you were messing with his mind." Jake Brickbat said.

"So what... I not a fan of authority guys like that one, using fear to control people. He's not even scary." Laura sighed.

"Your not scared of him?" Bell was shocked, along with her classmates.

"Nope... I don't care if he's nutz inside. I just see him as another unlovable jerk on the street."

* * *

><p>After school, the sun was setting and Bart and Lisa entered the Noiseland Arcade to see how business is doing. Bart kept bragging to his sister that Noisy's will be back in business, but as soon as they entered, they were a bit shocked of what they saw.<p>

"What the..." Bart hesitated.

"Is it a meeting?" Lisa hesitated.

Bart spotted Three Men in suits, one man with sunglasses holding up a contract to Noisy's. It appears to be businessmen buying the store apparently. Lisa watched Bart walking over their just to see what was going on.

"Okay, I'm giving you a chance to sell this old worthless dump for a whole lot of money, so we can open a new Star Bucks." The Man With Sunglasses spoke..

"Don't do it Noisy's! Their businessmen! They've once had good intentions but now they've turned to the dark side!" Bart argued.

"Look kid. Business is business."

"Hold on a sec. I want to hear what he has to say." Mr. Noisy's replied.

"Look! Just give us another day! Another day is all I'm asking." Bart begged and begged.

"I don't know..."

"Please! This place has been with us before I was ever born! You got to let it stay! Will bring customers!" Bart plead.

"Noisy's! You think this place is really going to sale?" The Businessmen saw no future in this place but a Star Bucks.

"Hmm... alright..." Noisy said. Then he faced to Bart. "If you get this place full of customers than I'll consider it."

"Customers? Here? People want state-of-the-art technology. Not this oversized 32-bit tech from well... thirty years ago." They scoffed at the two. "See ya! This place will be the new location for a star bucks sooner or later."

Bart and Noisy's, worried than ever, watched the businessmen smile as they walked away.

"To Evil Gentlemen!" The Corporate Businessman announced as he walked to the exit.

"To Evil!" The rest of them went along.

"You have a plan Bart?" Noisy's asked, hoping he did.

"I...I..I don't know." Bart faced to the ground, feeling less and less sure about this place. He felt doubtful about it now.

Lisa was still standing there, watching the Businessmen stepping out of the old place, laughing at the chance Bart has. She saw Bart looking awfully doubtful about this, he had no plan. She wondered if this place will ever get back to its feet... seeing no hope that it will, until she heard a friendly voice next to her.

"I heard the conversation." Laura stood right next to Lisa.

"You did?... I don't think this place has a chance now..." Lisa replied, feeling glum about it, just by looking at his brother's uncertainty.

"Actually... I think there is a way to bring it back to its feet again." Laura said.

"Yo.. You do?"

"Yeah. Involves spreading the word, you'll be a big help if you join in on the plan. "She smiled.

"O..Okay? What do we do?" Lisa started feeling a bit certain, happy, definite about this, her once glum feeling was no more.

* * *

><p>Night time lurked through the skies, as Marge was sitting at the kitchen table, waiting for Homer. Just then, Homer was about to step in the kitchen from the darkness of the living room for a delicious but high calorie Double Decker Sandwich until he stepped back scared, just by the sight of Marge waiting for him.<p>

"Homer. Please, come in. I want to have a talk." A worried Marge asked for him to come.

"Okay! But I brought in my Bear Combat Armor just in case!" Homer stepped out of the darkness, appeared to be in his old Bear Combat Armor made of silverware, plates, buckets, and any other metal existing in the house.

"Homer... I know your scared because of that punch... but I didn't know what to expect. In fact, I'm scared about hurting you physically again." An anxious but scared Marge, spoke, hoping he would understand, but she wasn't finish their. "But... I'm also afraid that you stopped loving me even more..."

"Wait? Is that why you punched me! I still love you... I really swear." Homer simply answered.

"If you do... then why do you constantly ignore me, treat me like I'm less of a person, why do you act like I'm not their all of a sudden? Please, why?"

"I don't do that.. I..."

"Homer, you do it all the time... do you not like me anymore? Am I nothing to you?" She asked, wanting an real response.

"No... I don't know why... I don't even realize it at first.".

"Please Homer... look inside..." Marge asked, hoping he could find it in his heart.

"Okay... but there's nothing there." Homer closed his eyes. "Still looking but nothing. I don't get it at all... I mean you work very hard to get the job done, your always on my side all the time, even made my days fun when I seem gloomy... and then I did do some unfair treatment, the boasting on and on about pancakes, and ignoring you all the time like you said... but your still always on my side even when the worst happens. You do care... your feelings do mean to me and yet I... I still argue and argue when you don't actually deserve it... you try and improve me when I instead yell and blabber on and on again... why... why do I do this? Oh no... I'm feeling very awkward now..."

"_Oh. That's just me. Oh wait... That's you alright._" Homer's Kidney spoke.

Marge, still too unhappy of this, too worried, too nervous, too gloomy, noticed the palm of Homer's hand upon Marge's shoulder. Her eyes looked above and saw Homer's guilty face.

"Marge... I think I really did deserve that punch... I'm truly sorry." Homer apologized.

"Homer, I'm sorry about the pun..."

"No, no. I really did deserve that... I was a jerk to you and you could've just leave me for another life like most woman do... but instead your here with me. Can you find it in your heart to forgive this blabbering old fool." Homer asked, hoping yes.

"Homer..." Marge stared into Homer's eyes, seeing how serious he meant.

"Marge..." Homer spoke, just wanted to see her smile again, a real smile showing that she accepted his apology.

The two hugged, feeling glad to be in each other's arms, feeling that they are lucky to have each other.

"Marge. I'm going to treat you with a movie tonight." Homer smiled, gladly to see Marge forgiving smile again.

"Instead... how about just a walk outside to the park, it's beautiful under the night sky with its sparkling lights..." She said.

"Okay, Marge."

The two hugged again, feeling relieved of the struggle that they've just experienced... Homer was the most happy of all, realizing he's a lucky man to have such a woman in his life...

* * *

><p>The Morning Sun rose up in the air as Bart woke up from his slumber bed. He stretched is arm, yawning and then remembered the Noisyland Arcade... Sighed, a bit disappointed that he couldn't save Noisy's Business, until he heard shouting outside.<p>

"Hey! Bart! Are you awake!" The Sound of One of Bart's Friend's called to him outside.

Bart went over to the open window, feeling a gentle breeze as he looked down to see Milhouse, Richard, and Lewis waiting for a response.

"Yeah?" Bart yelled back.

"It's a miracle! Go to the Noisyland Arcade... at the Entertainment District! Quick!" Lewis yelled.

Bart wondered what that could've meant...

* * *

><p>Bart Simpson passed by many of the restaurants, bars, and other entertainment businesses. Their he saw Planet Hype, Barney's Bowl-A-Rama, the Aztec Theater doing pretty well... he wondered if ever the Noiseland Arcade had a chance still, that was when he stopped as soon as he saw it...<p>

"What's going on here?" Bart said.

He saw crowds of Springfieldians smiling and chatting in and near the Arcade Building. He also for some reason saw Bill and Marty, Hosts of KBBL Radio, promoting the old dusty place.

"What happened?" Bart asked.

"I'll answer that." Laura came, showing her usual smile as Bart was surprised of this. "I know that this old dump means a lot to you, just like your skateboard and Krusty... so I made a few calls, brought over some teenagers and a few adults and kids. Though, most of the others... I had help with."

"Help? Who would possibly want to help get this place back to its feet." Bart asked.

"That would be me, Bart." Lisa stepped out of the crowd.

Bart was a bit surprised that she was involved. She had no interest in the Arcade, in fact she didn't have many interest in a lot of Bart's hobbies, so why.

"Lise... Why did..."

"Because I saw how much this place meant." Lisa placed her hand on Bart's shoulder. "It's one of the older buildings around and despite the video game addiction growing... friends long ago laughed and had fun around this arcade as kids, and now their standing here as grownups, seeing an old piece of their childhood stand strong."

"But how did you..."

"Bill and Marty owe me a favor at the radio station, called Thelonius to bring some of his nerd pals over, and dad promised to bring some of his friends over for a rematch since 1982." Lisa smiled.

Suddenly they spotted the angry mumbling of the Businessmen, earlier before.

"Dang it!" The Leader of The Three was the most furious of this. "How on earth did you manage to get this place running back on track!"

"Just a few calls." Lisa smirked.

"Man, We would've gotten away with it, if it weren't for you meddling kids and your stupid dog!"

"Hee Hee Hee!" A Parody of Scooby Doo giggled near the kids.

"Whenever a business goes bankrupt... we Corporations will be their..." The Leader of the Three declared.

"Take a hike." Bart replied.

"Errrrr..." They grunted, but nevertheless, they walked away from the crowd, heading back where they came from.

"Thanks Lise. What can I do for in return?" Bart asked.

"A hug is just fine." Lisa smiled.

"What? There is no way I'm hugging! I'll pay you how much. How about..."

Bart was interrupted for a moment, as Lisa hugged his older brother anyway, Bart sighed and hugged his little sister in return. As the two hugged, Homer and Marge felt happy to see their children respond in kindness rather than constant nagging and fighting.

"Sometimes... I think were the best parents in the world." Homer sighed.

"Homer. You did nothing." Marge said.

"You sure kicked me hard in the face." Akira came looking healthy as ever.

"Sorry about last time, how's your prosthetic shoulder?" Marge said.

"I sued the doctors and asked for a more stronger prosthetic shoulder. Three Lawyers survived the case." Akira grunted. "Also, you got karate tomorrow. Don't miss."

"I sure won't miss it." Ruth came by as well.

"Hello Ruth. How are you doing?" Marge smiled at her best friend.

"Fine. You want to grab a soda and head to the Art Museum. Your husband can come too." Ruth said.

"Say? Uh... where is Homer?" Marge noticed Homer was missing.

Marge, Ruth, and Akira turned their heads into one direction seeing Homer running in a hurry as he yelled, "No way I'm heading to a stinking Art Museum! I'm heading off to the Duff Factory!"

"That Homer seems to never change." Ruth said.

"You say that... but as his wife, I noticed he changed a bit from his ignorant behavior." Marge smiled.

The three watched, Homer running as the day shined its brightest, looking for the Duff Factory during the beautiful day.

"That man has been rude to everyone he knew, has gotten drunk at the driver's seat, has stolen copyright material over and over again... but he's the damn best father and husband out of four husbands in a small community that I've ever seen" Akira said.

* * *

><p>(Maggie's Crib)<p>

Marge walked away to the TV room as Maggie was all by herself at the table. She sees a Cookie Jar and immediately she grabbed and stuffed herself with all the cookies. Suddenly Bart and Lisa came saying, "Time to get a snack" as Maggie disappeared.

Marge steps in noticing that the cookie jar has it's lid on the table. She quickly grabs it and sees that it's empty.

"Who ate all the cookies!" Marge angrily looked at Bart and Lisa.

"Don't look at us." Bart said.

Suddenly a loud, "BURP!" came from the ground, and the three looked to see Maggie on the floor, full as ever, as she burps out a chocolate chip to the ground


	9. Bart Simpson's Last Chance

(First **Character**/Location Appearance's of **Jer**,** McGarnacle**, **Troy McClure, **Adult Annexation Class, and Springfield Bridge)

* * *

><p><span>Opening Gag<span> - Matt Groening fly into the skies like a super hero, yet wears his usual civilian clothing.

Billboard Gag - "Bumblebee-man is now playing as Romeo!" Says a Romeo Version of Bumblebee-Man

Chalkboard Gag - "I will not raise the dead.", "I will not raise the dead."

Couch Gag - The Simpsons run to the couch on pogo sticks, only to jump into each other

Ep 58 - S02E08 Date - Mar. 17. 2012

**Bart Simpson's Last Chance** Synopsis - Bart has to pass a final's as Lisa is a bit worried of Bart's latest prank and Homer has seemed to burrow stuff from all over Springfield

* * *

><p>A Man walked up onto the stage, smiling at the audience before him, waving his hand a "Hello there!" as he headed to the table to unveil a certain product, on a table, to the people before him.<p>

"Hello! I'm Troy McClure. You may have remembered me from such shows such as, 'The Odyssey: Oh Great. It's Neptune' or 'The One Arm Man Did It!'. " Troy McClure introduced himself to the whole audience, clapping their hands they did, waiting to see what's next. "On 'I Can't Believe They Invented It!', we are going to unveil a new product. It's a hi-tech, state of the art, chrome plated, glow-in-the dark, stereo built-in, heated, thumb-laser, password coded, voice operated, paper dispenser!"

"Ooh... Aah..." The Audience gazed upon the paper dispenser on top of the table.

"Now, Dr. Nick Riviera. Get your prosthetic hi-tech arm out here and let's take a look? Shall we?" Troy called him out to the stage.

Suddenly Dr. Nick stepped onto the stage, smiling as usual, waving his hand and saying his usual catchphrase, "Hi! Everybody!"

"Hi! Dr. Nick!" The Audience smiled.

Dr. Nick stood by the table placing a robotic arm, already capable of moving.

"Okay, Troy. This Hi-Tech Super-Human Robotic Arm will simply pour a glass of water onto the table where the paper dispenser will clean it up and..."

"Hey! Wait a minute! That's just an ordinary paper dispenser with various accessories to it!" A Man yelled, standing up from the audience that turned their attention to him. "Why not show what the arm thing does!"

"Quiet! This advanced prosthetic arm is a prototype. Though, the paper dispenser seems successful. Let's do the demonstration again." Dr. Nick said.

In the audience, that same man just sat down, crossing his arm, grunting, frustrated, thinking that the prosthetic arm would be a much better invention than a paper dispenser. Still, the audience of Springfield gazed at the paper dispenser instead of the arm, amazed by the shape of it. That was until the robotic arm tried to grab a hold of water.

"Now as it spills the water. I will use these papers from these dispensers to clean it up." Dr. Nick smiled.

The robotic arm spilled the water... but, the water came contact to the arm itself. Sudden sparks of malfunctioning sounds were heard as the audience wondered what's wrong.

"Oh man... I forgot to make it water-proof." Dr. Nick said.

The robotic arm suddenly twitched a bit as it had a new objective appeared across its tiny CPU,"MAKE LIFE HARDER FOR THE HUMAN RACE..."

"Is that normal, Dr. Nick?" Troy asked, feeling a bit worried.

"Of course that..."

Suddenly the state-of-the-art technology leaped off the table and strangled Dr. Nick by the neck. He felled to the ground as Troy just stood their watching.

"There you have it folks!" Troy looked at the audience. "Buy the paper dispenser now!"

Suddenly the same man before stood up saying, "Am I the only one with common sense here! That man is being choked!"

Though, at the end, no one didn't really listened to him. The audience just rushed up to the stage with their cash, wanting their money taken now as several words were heard such as, "Take My Money! My wallet isn't empty! I'll pay any cost for that dispenser!"

* * *

><p>"Ooh. That paper dispenser looks nice..." Homer said.<p>

Homer was sitting on the couch as usual, staring at the TV, listening to it's every command. As Homer was about to grabbed the remote, Marge stepped in wearing a pink coat and her purse. She looked as if she was heading out.

"Homer. I'm heading to the Adult Annexation Class to sign up for a music class with Ruth." Marge said.

"Uh-huh. Your point?" Homer continued to stare into the TV.

"You don't remember do you Hom..."

"Uh... Nope." Homer immediately responded.

Marge sighed a bit and said, "You have to bring Bart to his principle. Apparently he had trouble again at school."

"What?" Homer's sudden attention turned to Marge. He felt a bit tired of this, reasoning with only these whiny words, "But it's Prime Time Television! At 9:00 PM! Prime Time, Marge! Prime Time!"

"Homer! This is important! Bring Bart to school and have a talk with Skinner! Please, Homer. I really need a girl's night out, I've been stressful lately doing all the housework by myself."

"Fine... I'll see Bart's principle." Homer sighed in disappointment, knowing that he would miss tonight's Prime Time Television Programs.

Suddenly the ringing of a door bell ranged throughout their ears.

"That must be her." Marge smiled. "Homer, do you have Ruth's Guitar?"

"I don't know." Homer simply answered. "Maybe you should look in the TV, Marge! PRIME TIME TV, MARGE!"

"Just look for the damn guitar!" Marge was a little frustrated of Homer's behavior.

* * *

><p>At the door, Marge grabbed the door knob, opening it, revealing Ruth smiling at the doorway, wearing a green coat on as Homer carried her guitar and a pick.<p>

"Okay, are we all set?" Marge asked.

"Just need my guitar and pick. Left it in this house." Ruth said.

Suddenly Homer stepped towards Ruth and held out a blue guitar with a pick in silence... but something was a bit odd about it just as soon as she grabbed it.

"Uh... is this scrapings from... pork chops?" Ruth examined closely at the guitar's strings, being stunned a bit, wondering how on Earth this happened.

"I had no floss so I used your guitar's strings." Homer replied, feeling deeply disappointed of himself, mostly scared of what Ruth's reaction could be.

"W..Why are there bite marks on this pick?" Ruth, disgusted and angry of it, held the guitar pick to Homer.

"I thought their was chocolate under that foil..." Homer replied, feeling a bit guilty of this.

"There. Was. No. Foil." She replied, crossing her arms, annoyed of Homer's nature.

* * *

><p>At Springfield Elementary, Bart and Homer sat down to meet Seymour Skinner in the principal's office. Seymour Skinner passed them by to his desk, sitting down ready to explain what was going on as an angry French Teacher stood by, leaning against the wall, crossing his arms, watching their every tiny move with his unhappy gritting teeth. The silent moment already got to the two, they were both worried what the boy did under all this pressure.<p>

"I'm going to be truthful with you... we have actually found a way to have the school to have enough money for a better education for these students." Skinner said.

"That's all? What's so bad about that?" Homer asked, feeling relieved of the pressure.

"I'm getting to that part. One of the steps is to... expel Bart Simpson." Skinner said.

"What! Why me! Ralph and those bullies are doing just as worst as I am! What about my French class too! I can pull the dirt on Martin! I saw him cheating for the Health Test!" Bart argued, hoping he can make a deal with the principal.

"Ralph and the bullies are actually doing well in the last week during school and already aware of that one cheat he did. They have all received personal tutors suggested by the school itself." Skinner said. "So far, we've asked you to get one and your still doing bad at school. As for your French... you've been doing well in the language part, but not the cultural part and uh.. Mr. Yanavo would like to... give his own thoughts."

"You bumble-minded IDIOT!" Mr. Yanavo yelled at Bart, holding up a dish of what appears to be a sandwich.

"Your...um.. sandwich looks edible." Bart spoke, afraid of the French Man's temper.

"THIS WAS ONCE A SALAD WITH CROUTONS. UNTIL YOU PULLED YOUR LITTLE FLOOD PRANK!" Mr. Yanavo yelled.

"Uh.. let's get back to Skinner." Homer said, both of them turning around, much because of Yanavo's anger.

"Yes.. well.. we know that Bart has gotten expelled before so if he does, but I'm willing to give a test with all of his subjects, from Math to even French. I'll even tutor the boy myself." Skinner said.

"Hmm... I would rather get expelled." Bart said.

Suddenly Homer turned to Bart, yelling, "WHAT! No son of mine is getting expelled and staying home all day! Your getting tutored by this man!"

"Good Grief..." Bart sighed, feeling dragged to a whole new lower level.

* * *

><p>At the Adult Annexation Class, existed many rooms such as Marriage Class, Ballet Class, and Moe's Rap-With-A-Shotgun class. There was one room, where there was music auditions for a Chorus On Stage soon. In that room, Ralph stepped onto the stage as three judges at a table wondered what a kid was doing here in a class for adults.<p>

"I was in the front page newspaper." Ralph smiled.

"Ah yes... the kid that got stuck in the nacho machine. Front Headline." Mr. Largo said. "NEXT!"

Ralph left the stage as Marge and Ruth stepped in.

"Hello. I'm Mr. Largo, the music teacher for Springfield Elementary." Mr. Largo said.

"I'm Jer. Owner of the King Toot's Music Store. I believe your husband, Homer, bought a sax for your little girl at that store." Jer said.

"Oh. I remember you. Lisa got her first sax from your store." Marge smiled.

"Yep. And uh.. that guy over their is Ian... the hippie freak for some reason who owns the Music CD shop." Jer pointed to the guy on the left.

"Hey she-dudes..." Ian smiled. "So uh... what will you be playing today?"

"I'm playing the flute and.. uh.. Ruth is playing the guitar..." Marge looked at Ruth's bad-condition guitar.

"Let's just get this over with..." Ruth sighed, not sure what to feel right now.

Marge started to play the flute, carefully playing the rhythm which was going well... But as for Ruth... her guitar pick with the many bite marks of Homer caused the guitar to sounded like a bad start for a musical in a Foreign Country that speaks in a dead language.

"OH GOD! STOP IT!" Mr. Largo yelled.

The two stopped as the three judges looked at them.

"That sounded like Nicholas Cage's career gone down the trashcan before National Treasure." Mr. Largo criticized the performance.

"Sorry Simpson and Powers but uh... my instruments have never made a screeching sound like that." Jer said. "Ian. What do you think. Ian?"

They turned around and saw Ian sleeping on the table.

"He's sleeping." Ruth said.

"Nope. He just had an overdose of some sleep pills. Too much of anything is usually bad you know." Mr. Largo said.

* * *

><p>At the Simpsons House, Marge and Ruth stepped in the kitchen for some water, only to find Homer wearing reading glasses as he read several papers. They sighed, wondering what Homer was up to this time as he scurried through the pile.<p>

"Must be another one of your husband's antic's. I'll be in the living room if you'll need me." Ruth sighed.

Just as Ruth left to another section of the house, Marge took another step into the kitchen.

"Homer? What are you doing? Are you planning another money scheme?" Marge sighed.

"Bart is in bed and I'm looking at his grades. The boy is failing, Marge."

"How is that any different from before?" She asked, still wondering what was going on.

"Look! Bart will get expelled again and I don't want him to stay here, home-schooled, for eight years." Homer said.

"If Bart tried listening to his tutors... worked hard enough... studied as well... and finds a good interest in learning... and with a little luck of trying, he can get an A." Marge smiled, hoping it would cheer up her husband.

Suddenly they heard a large but small rumbling sound coming near the living room. The two of their attentions turned to Ruth's voice with the words, "What in the world?"

* * *

><p>Homer and Marge stepped into the Entry Room, to see Ruth near a large pile of several items falling out of a closet. Ruth picked up a leaf blower and said, "This is my leaf-blower! What's it doing here in his closet!", turning her angry attention to Homer himself.<p>

"I was just borrowing." Homer replied.

"Hans Moleman's Cane, Dr. Hibbert's gardening gloves, Willie's shovel... Why do you need a bunch of Moe Syzlak's grenades?" Ruth complained.

"Oh.. I don't need any of those grenades... Yet..." Homer's voice started turning serious, almost as if he has some intentions for it.

"Oh god... I'm going to be sick..." Ruth spotted an abomination in the closet.

"Hey. That's Barney's old meat ball back in 1996." Homer smiled at the rotting, stink-filled, meat ball.

"That sure is a lot of stuff you borrowed." Marge looked.

"Okay... I may have burrowed a few things. So what?" Homer said.

Ruth looked at Homer with a serious angry expression across her face, walking to the man.

"You didn't borrowed it! You probably didn't ask for it! This is stealing!" Ruth angrily said.

"What's the difference? I break into people's houses all the time. One time I burrowed a 3D TV and..." Homer replied.

"Grrr... You know what. I'm going to have to inform this to people about their missing stuff." Ruth said, walking to the doorway.

"Fine. Go ahead. See if I care." Homer crossed his arms as he said, "I have the right to borrow as many stuff as I want. Right Marge? Marge?"

"Hrmm..." Marge simply replied to his Husband.

* * *

><p>McGarnagle, a police cop, walked up to the only witness he had, he was afraid, scared, felt unsure about this.<p>

"Manny. You got to do this... For McGarnagle." McGarnagle looked straight in the eye of that one witness.

"I don't know. I'm afraid... McGarnagle." The Witness said.

"You have to. That mafia won't stop! Do it... For McGarnagle!" McGarnagle said.

"Okay,..I..I'll do it... for you McGarnagle." Manny said.

Several minutes later at the Chief of Police's office.

"Dammit McGarnagle! Manny was beating senselessly! ALMOST TO DEATH! He can't talk now! He can't testify! He's in the hospital because of YOU! McGarnagle!" The Chief of Police angrily slammed his fist to the desk.

"I'm trying to eat my sandwich here!..." McGarnagle complained. "... McGarnagle!"

Back in reality, Bart was watching another Police Cop episode of McGarnagle, a police show that's basically a parody to every cop action film to date. He was at the streets, staring at a line of TV set along behind bullet-proof glass. The store was known as "Electronics And Up".

"Wow. The McGarnagle. Even though they pretty much did the idea already, just replaced Billy with Manny, it's still pretty good." Bart said.

"Hello Bart. I thought I might find you here." Skinner appeared.

Bart turned to skinner and gulped.

"Since you won't listen to the tutor. Were going to have to do some old fashion militaristic teaching in my day." Skinner said.

"_M..Militaristic?"_ Bart thought.

* * *

><p>Bart was doing one handed push-ups under the rain, with three big dictionary's on his back as Skinner was wearing his military uniform.<p>

"In this Language Arts Practice Questions. Who wrote The Tale of Two Cities?" Skinner yelled like the Military Sergeant he is.

"How the.. hell would I know!" Bart replied, angry of this.

"Wrong answer! Another book!" Skinner placed another dictionary on top of the first three.

"What did Pony Boy do during the fire in The Outsiders?" Skinner yelled.

"I never read it!" Bart replied.

"Another dictionary it is than!" Skinner responded, placing yet another dictionary on Bart.

"Who is the main character in the Time Machine, Bart! Even you can answer this one! Simple question!" Skinner yelled.

"I never even heard of that book!" Bart tired under the rain, doing several push-ups one handed with dictionary's on his back, suddenly dropped to the ground.

"You never even seen the movie?" Skinner said.

"Nope." Bart tiredly sighed as the drops of rain continued to run through his hair.

"Fine... Bart... just go for now... Will study later." Skinner said. "Bart? Bart?"

He turned his head around and saw Bart, so exhausted, that he was already asleep on the ridged wet ground.

* * *

><p>Bart entered "The Feel" Music-Shop as he was tired out, feeling like he just been through a long journey, for a kid that is. As he entered, Lewis and Richard who were sorting out the discs wondered why he looked so stressed out today as he headed to the main counter at the end of the store, where Ian was.<p>

"_This store still looks like it's in shape..."_ Bart thought.

The store had glass doors as the main entryway, three couches around a small coffee table in the middle, with a tape recorder crossed with a MP3 Player to test out sample's of music placed there, a large row of shelves parallel to each other on each wall containing several discs, and of course a counter with the cashier at the opposite side of the entryway, near two doors by the left, one leading to Ian's Office and one to a small Employee Lounge.

"Hello Bart-dude. You look tired, man." Ian said.

"You. Have. No. Idea." A tired Bart said.

"I know just the trick. This store may have a lot of rock n' roll, jazz, and the blues... but for stressful people like yourself." He pulled out a disk from under the counter." I have a disk here that plays old fashion classical music, violins and flutes with a chorus as well."

"Uh... No thanks." Bart denied the disk. "I just need to talk to someone about a problem and I thought..."

"Problem? Did you got in trouble again?" A nine-year old, certain, sister stepped in, wondering what was going on.

"Lisa? What are you doing here?" Bart said.

"This is a music shop. It has jazz CD's and Records. What do you expect?" Lisa answered the obvious.

"I thought you hang out at the King Toot's Music Shop." Bart said.

"That store sells Musical Instruments. I already have a saxophone. This store sells Music CD's. You get the difference?" Lisa sighed, ending the sentence with a, "Ugh."

"Okay. I get it now." Bart reacted, feeling a bit naive now. "Anyway, I'm being tutored by Skinner and he's taking it a bit too seriously. He's going all Asian Tiger Mom on this studying thing."

"Well... I do know that you have studied hard before... but maybe you should try flashcards for memorization, or read a book during your breaks to expand your attention span, and if you want, I can help you." Lisa smiled, hoping he would consider it.

"I have a better alternative." Ian suggested.

"Anything than what my sis says." Bart turned immediately to Ian.

"How about you send an threatening note to the Springfield Mafia signed under this Skinner dude. Then, after he survives what's coming to him, he could probably delay the test!" Ian smiled.

Lisa was angry of this, looking at Ian and Bart, reacting with full anger deep in her blood. "What! That's crazy! There's still a possibility they wouldn't delay the test, and what the mafia does is usually fatal, and there probably going to see it as a fake under Bart's handwriting!"

"Better than your idea." Bart said.

"Bart! Don't do it!" Lisa said.

"Yeah! Listen to your sister!" Ian said.

"You were the one who suggested it!" Lisa looked angrily to Ian, gripping both arms.

"I did?" Ian replied, not having a good memory at all.

"Well... I can understand your memory problem... but as for you Bart! Don't do it!" Lisa turned around, but noticed that the glass doors were swinging over and over again.

Lisa ran to the entryway as Ian yelled out, "No! Come back.", but they didn't.

"Well. That's all I got. Any ideas?" Ian looked at Richard and Lewis.

They just nodded their heads "No".

* * *

><p>Bart was walking on the streets of Springfield, writing "From Skinner" and "To Mob" with horribly hand writing on a piece of paper, as he was heading to the Springfield Mafia's Headquarters, The Legitimate Businessman's Social Club, located at the basement of a building.<p>

"Please Bart! What your doing is forgery!" Lisa said.

"So what? I do it all the time." Bart finished writing the note.

"Yes but this isn't the right way! Just study for the test Bart!"

"Not listening." Bart covered his ears with his own hands

Bart and Lisa, who tried to warn him, were near the underground stairway. Lisa gulped, knowing that these stairs lead to the entry door of the Mafia's Main Base of Operations and Plans.

"Please Bart! You could be caught!" Lisa was worried for his brother's safety.

"So?" Bart took a step down the stairway as Lisa just stood their, a bit afraid.

Bart was now at the end of the stairs, seeing the main doorway, to the The Legitimate Businessman's Social Club, where Fat Tony does his usual business dealings, most illegal, some legal, either way it's a place where most people should be cautious coming near the place, especially when it's also the main headquarters for the mob.

"Please Bart! Remembered the guilt you felt after Skinner was thought to be murdered by the mafia?" Lisa reminded the young lad.

Suddenly Bart stopped for a moment...

"Yeah?" Bart looked at her sister, giving his full attention.

"Well... what if this could actually turn out to be real this time! We don't want that!" Lisa said.

"Hmm... you might be right..." Bart said, thinking about it for a moment. "I guess I'll put this letter up..."

Suddenly the door opened, interrupting the young lad, revealing Louie at the door knob.

"Who is it?" The Sound of Fat Tony's voice came inside.

"It's that Bart kid. He worked for us as a bartender last year, remember? He has a letter for us with 'To Mob' on it." Louie replied to his boss.

"Bring the letter in. I'll check it later!" Fat Tony yelled from inside.

Already, Louie took the letter as Bart was not that afraid, but too stunned, to grip on to it.

"Thanks Kid. Your a big help to us even if your not working for us." Louie smiled at the boy.

Louie closed the door, holding the letter in his hand, as Bart said, "That was a close one."

Suddenly Lisa place the palm of her hand to her forehead thinking, _"Why? Why? Why?"_ over and over again.

"What? It's not that bad." Bart said.

"Oh forget it. What's the point if you won't listen." Lisa just walked away, wondering, feeling a bit doubtful, about Bart.

"_What's with her?"_ Bart thought.

* * *

><p>The doorbell rang and rang in the Simpson's House, as Homer came to see who it is. As he opened it, he saw a mob of angry Springfieldian's at the door lead by Ruth herself.<p>

"Marge!" Homer yelled downstairs, not sure what's going on.

"What?" Marge yelled upstairs.

"There's an angry mob lead by your friend, Ruth! And I'm sure it's pretty much about me because usually I'm In the mob!" Homer yelled.

"Oh lord..." Marge replied, upstairs.

Suddenly Ruth stepped in the entry room, crossing her arms, showing she was unhappy with someone.

"Homer. Just listen to us. Were not angry." Ruth tried to be calm as she can. "We just want our stuff back you stole. All of us. So I can guarantee their's no need of violence."

"Let's kick him off of Springfield Gorge!" Lenny yelled.

"Let's throw rocks at him." Carl yelled

"Let's throw him to the Springfield Mystery Spot, where no one has returned!" Sideshow Mel yelled.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile... at the Springfield Mystery Spot.<p>

"AHHHHHHHHH!" Famous Baseball Player, Ozzie Smith with a grown and long beard, screamed for about an year, lost in an endless mysterious dimension.

Suddenly Ozzie Smith passed by another of Einstein's Special Relativity Equations.

"I've already memorized that! No need to look at it." He sighed.

* * *

><p>The Mob was at Homer's house, thinking what to do with Homer, even though Ruth didn't really want violence to reign.<p>

"So what should we do?" Moe asked.

Suddenly Ned Flanders stepped in, with good faith and reason.

"Now, now folks. I'm sure that Homer will be glad to give us all our stuff back and we don't have to resort to..."

"Shut up Stupid Flanders." Homer interrupted.

"Were stalling too much time! Let's rush in and get our stuff back!" Barney suggested.

Homer blocked the exit and replied, "There's no way your getting through..."

It was too late, the force of the mob rushed in as Homer got trampled by almost everyone of them shoes.

"Ooh! Ow! Doh!" Homer yelled in pain.

The mob ran to the closet of the entry room of the house, opening it quickly. Moe stepped in first, handing back everyone their owned items, one by one.

"Drederick Tatum's Boxing Gloves!" Moe brought out a pair of yellow boxing gloves.

"Here!" Drederick Tatum yelled out.

"Luann's Oven Mittens" Moe brought out a pair of green and blue oven mittens.

"That's me!" Luann said.

"Who owns this 50 Cal. Bullets?" Moe asked. "Is it any of you? Rainier Wolfcastle? Herman? Chief Wiggum?"

Suddenly Maggie raised her hand, squeaking her pacifier.

"Oh, it's yours. Here you go sweet angel." Moe lended a box of 50 Cal. Bullets to the infant baby.

The crowd continued to obtain everyone of their belongings back, as Homer just watched, not knowing what to do now. A few minutes passed, and everyone left, but Ned who just annoyed Homer with his smile. Homer turned his attention to the closet to see it almost empty, feeling silent. The only thing left there was Ned's TV Tray, a bit saddened about this, seeing how less "burrowed" property there was in here. Marge and Ruth later came, seeing Homer whining and mumbling about what happened.

"Homer. What you did their was stealing. You should know better not to steal... especially from your friends." Ruth said.

"Maybe I did steal it but I still needed a few things to make life a little easier, that's all!" Homer whined.

Homer hoped they understood his reasoning, but they knew this was just another petty excuse. The two women looked at each other, sighing at Homer's constant naive behavior. They then turn their attention to Homer, as Marge stepped forward.

"A lot of it filled up your closet and so far you haven't returned any of them!" A Concerned but Angry Marge spoke.

"You're on her side too?" Homer's whiny nature turned to shock.

"Homer. Is there something you like to say?" Marge replied to him, looking at her Husband with a mean look in her eye, crossing her arms, feeling serious about this, that this was a big deal.

"I don't wanna." Homer whined, feeling a bit frustrated.

"Look Homer." Ruth stepped forward, hoping she could reason with him. "My ex-husband is similar to you. He supposedly burrowed from many of his friends as well. Despite his drinking, his eating, his ignorant behavior..."

"I don't see your point?" Homer simply interrupted, as he also drinks, eats, and has an ignorant behavior.

"... Just listen." Ruth took a deep breath. "The guy stole a lot from his friends and said he was just burrowing. His friends thought he was using them. They later gave up on him, his work friends ignored him, his drinking pals ignored him. He got sick and tired of it. He was miserable as ever."

Homer than thought about Ruth's words, remembering some of his friends acting like angry but reasonable men getting a hold of what belongs to them. He remembered what awful things they said during the mob because of what he done.

Lenny's voice shouted throughout his mind with the words, "Let's kick him off Springfield Gorge."

Carl's angry voice came shrilling through his mind with the words, "Let's throw rocks at him!"

Ralph's smiling voice came through his mind with the words, "A leprechaun told me to chop things."

Homer, a grown man, should know by now, that this is stealing.

"I think.. I think I see your point now." Homer sighed, feeling relieved of stress but was still concerned somewhat. "If I keep this up, I'm going to look like a real big jerk in front of my friends. Not just them, but the whole town could go berserk next time, and they might mean it. I mean people steal all the time, but I've really gone off the line."

"You understand Homer?" Ruth looked at him, hoping he does.

"Is there something you would like to say?" Marge added, no longer having the serious expression across her face, but a blissful feeling that he might actually understood his errors.

"Yes. I do understand. Ruth, I'm sorry for stealing other people's property. I... I feel really awful about it now. I still may occasionally steal on certain basis but..." Homer said.

"Homer!" Marge yelled.

".. But I promise never to become a real-time thief using my own friends and neighbors again." Homer finished his sentence.

Suddenly Ned stepped in smiling and said, "Well in that case! You won't mind if you stopped borrowing my..."

"No Flanders." Homer instantly replied.

"Well... I guess.. um.. I'll just leave than." Ned pointed to the main doorway, as he walked out.

Marge looked at this sudden event and only replied, "Hrmm..." thinking at least Homer might steal less than usual...

* * *

><p>At Springfield Elementary, Bart was bored as ever, being tutored by Skinner in his own home-classroom, before a few hours for the test. Apparently the letter to the mob didn't work at all.<p>

"Bart. Here's the next question." Skinner needed Bart's full attention.

"Let's just hurry this up..." Bart sighed in boredom.

"Who is considered to be the Father of Texas?" Skinner said.

"_Uh... Optimus Prime, Captain Nemo, Sherlock Holmes, Stephen Austin, Elvis... Eins..." _Bart thought.

"Bart! Bart! Are you even listening?" Skinner said.

"Uh... Stephen Austin?" Bart said.

"Er.. Lucky Guess." Skinner was a bit tangly of this.

"Oh come on. What's the point of this. I'm going to fail this test anyway. When have you ever actually got a student with good grades besides Lisa around this joint?" Bart complained, feeling that this tutoring was unnecessary.

"If you just listened and paid close attention than..."

"I have to get an A or higher! I've paid attention before and I got a D- for it!" Bart argued.

"It was one test! Maybe if you kept it up you would..."

"What? What!" Bart yelled.

"Fine. If that's how you'll act. Why don't you just go play outside during the rest of the two hours of tutoring, before the test." Skinner looked at him, eye to eye, as he meant it under his serious tone.

"Uh.. I didn't really meant it.." Bart, felt somewhat sorry.

"Just go... Maybe your right. Maybe this whole school is just really a waste of your time." Skinner stepped out of the home classroom , as he was disheartened right now. Bart could tell easily that behind that serious look, was a depressed Skinner. "If you need me. I'll be at my office."

* * *

><p>Bart took a step into the office, feeling a bit bad for what he just said, he usually wouldn't care if he yelled at an adult but this was different. As Bart walked up to the silent Skinner working on several paper work, he noticed a picture frame that he never actually seen before. It looked like Skinner with facial hair, but wearing a dress with lipstick on.<p>

"Who's that? You? Dressed up as a woman?" Bart asked, wondering why such a picture existed.

"Nope. That happens to be my twin sister, Bart." Skinner said, marking on some paper work.

"Looks like something out of the movie, Jack and Jill." Bart replied.

"Yes, that wasn't a good movie... but this really is my sister." Skinner replied.

"What happened to her?" He asked.

"When I was setting off to Nam, I waved goodbye to my sister since... I don't remember well" Skinner held the picture frame, looking at it, remember the old days back then. "She was a kind woman, though people didn't see much in her because of her more manly characteristics. After the war, I stepped back into my home, I couldn't wait to be back after all the gritty violence I encountered. The nightmares I endured seeing villages, one by one, burned by both Americans and Vietnamese. As I took a step back into my home country..."

Skinner suddenly hesitated for a moment...

"What... What happened then?" Bart, felt a bit sorry for what he was going to hear.

" As I stepped back into my home country... only to find out that she wasn't their to wave a hello. She... She disappeared. No one knew what happened, I never saw her again since I left my home country."

"That must have been hard on you." Bart, felt even more sorry for the guy.

"Yes... Yes it was. Now I left the army life for the school, to help these kids achieve success later on. It's all I have now." Skinner sighed, placing the picture frame back in place. He than looked at Bart and said, "You know Bartholomew. Your lucky to have a sister that always sticks by your side no matter how far your pranks go."

"Yeah... I.. I guess your right... It's great having Lisa around..." Bart felt odd inside, just staring at the ground, wondering what this strange feeling was. He had it before... but he was not sure what it was.

"Yep. Every sibling are going to have their fights... but when you grow older and step into the real world... your going to miss her. Just like me." Skinner sighed.

Bart than raised his head up to Skinner, looking to him face to face, but wasn't sure how to put this, as he never usually say this.

"Uh.. Look... Maybe... Maybe I'll give the tutoring thing a chance before the test during that hour..." Bart said.

"Well... That's good of you Bart. If you want. I'll add in an extra hour to recount some of the more smaller detail." Skinner smiled a bit.

"Yeah. That would be great." Bart smiled.

* * *

><p>The clock was ticking at 3:34 PM on Saturday, and the tutoring begun for two hours in the class homeroom... as time flies by, the clock soon ticked to 5:34 as sunset made it's turn. It was time for the test...<p>

"Okay. Bart. That's enough tutoring right now... Let's get on with the test." Skinner held out a packet of different subjects.

Suddenly Bart gulped, feeling a bit nervous on this test. A test deciding him to stay or get expelled... Skinner placed it on his desk, sitting in another student's desk as he pulled out a book to read from the shelves. Bart looked at it, feeling a bit worried, but nevertheless... he figured out the first question in a few seconds, just the thought of thinking, "Just 99 More Questions to go..."

* * *

><p>The clock ticked again and again at 7:09 as Bart, finished with his test, handed it over to Skinner to give him his grade.<p>

"Hmm..." Skinner pulled out his red marker, evaluating each and every one of these questions.

Bart was sweating like a pig nervously just by the thought of being a failure again as he heard the sound of the marker placed against the test's flat colorless paper next to each number. Bart looked at the clock seeing that a minute has already passed by now, he was a bit afraid and unsure... and than Skinner put away the marker. He was done grading.

"So uh... what's my grade?" Bart asked, feeling very nervous today.

"Bart... I'm afraid to tell you this..." Skinner felt very disappointed, just by the look of his face.

"Oh..no..." Bart, felt once again as a failure, looking down to the ground that he would probably never step into this school's hallways, and see all the faces of his classmates, or have a field trip and sneak off to a place of joy and excitemnet, or get a chance to pull some pranks on the teachers. He looked up to Skinner, and the young lad, "I failed didn't I?"

"I'm afraid to tell you this..." Skinner said once again. "You passed!, he stood up smiling.

"Wha.. What?" Bart felt a bit relieved their for a second, but was shocked as well.

"Scared you a bit? Didn't I?" Skinner had a chuckle. "You got a 91.5, thanks to a few extra credit questions. You see Bart, if you just try it out on and on... you'll get the hang of it."

"Yes, thanks anyway!" Bart swiped the test in joy. "I got to show this to someone!"

Bart ran off to the doorway as Skinner watched.

"It brings me joy to see that even a troublesome squirt like him can be proven to have some success in their lives." Skinner smiled. He than pulled out the picture frame of his twin-sister from under his suit, holding it close to his heart.

He looked at it for a moment, having a little tear in his eyes, wiping it off with the one index finger he had of his left hand and said directly to the picture, the memory of her sister, "It brings me joy to know that you stuck by my side, I probably wouldn't give up on such a child thanks to you."

* * *

><p>Lisa Simpson, was playing her Sax under the bright full moon, sitting upon the ledge of Springfield Bridge, playing to her heart as she usually would. Suddenly she stopped for a moment, hearing the loud familiar yelling's of, "Lisa! Lisa!" over and over again. She definitely realized who it was, jumping off the ledge of the bridge to the sidewalk, and than she spotted Bart.<p>

"Bart? What do you want. Come to put my advice into the ground again." Lisa sighed.

"No... Your advice is actually pretty good Lisa. I got an 91.5!" Bart smiled.

"Oh. Good for you." Lisa sighed, not showing any signs of joy to him at all.

"What's wrong Lise?" Bart asked.

"Bart. Do you know who I met on Springfield Bridge, the one bridge where people can get out and into this town without any trouble. He was one of the many few who actually understood me, Bart. Took time to listen." Lisa showed a bitter and serious look to Bart.

"Yeah. I do know. It's um... What's his name... He was a piano player. Wasn't he?" Bart said.

"He was a SAXOPHONE PLAYER!" She yelled, feeling a burst of rage just coming out of the open. "HIS NAME WAS BLEEDING GUMS! BLEEDING GUMS MURPHY YOU!"

"Chill down Lise!" Bart replied, hoping she would calm down.

"Oh... what's the point... you never listen..." Lisa, feeling a bit glum tonight. That no one alive in this town could probably understand her.

"Yeah... but your always saving my butt from trouble." Bart smiled.

"So what... what have you done?" Lisa turned around.

"What have I done? Your really asking that? I don't know... maybe, the time I send funding for a reserve of all the abandoned animals of Springfield... what else? Hmm... The time me and Leon Kompowsky made a birthday song for you Lisa... and let's not forget. I sacrificed a lot of cash for that one album, Sax On The Beach by Bleeding Gums Eddie Murphy himself, to cheer you up. It's not just him I remembered that understand you. There was Mr. Bergstrom! You want a family member besides Mom? Grandma, Mona Simpson! How about that!" Bart said.

"Yeah... I.. Guess you have done some good things." Lisa sighed, feeling somewhat better, but still held a grip onto the rage she had, just waiting to burst out again.

"But you know what else?" Bart placed his hand upon Lisa's shoulder.

"What?" Lisa looked at her older brother wondering what he was going to say, that it was not going to change anything.

"This 91.5 I got... was because I listened some very good advice from you... I was tutored under two hours, which isn't actually enough time to remember all the teachings from each and every subject according to you. I took the advice of flash cards and reading the book during some of my recesses before the test ever started. Than... I decided to look for more ways... the way I found pretty good was your notes."

"My notes? But I'm in 3rd Grade and your in 5th." Lisa said.

"Yes, but I have copied your style of taking notes so far. I examined each and every page, I even found that you wrote tips as reminders to help you study." Bart smiled.

"Y..You have listened Bart." Lisa's raging frown change to a blissful smile.

"Yeah. I couldn't have done it without you Lise... "

Bart couldn't finish his sentence at all because Lisa hugged his older brother, feeling happy as Bart was a bit disgusted or embarrassed of it, nevertheless... he responded by hugging her little sister as well. The two stepped back, smiling at each other that their were no more conflicts between as of now.

"I'm glad you didn't got caught trouble with the mob at least." Lisa said

Suddenly out of nowhere, a Gun Shot rang through the air, catching the two's attention.

* * *

><p>Bart and Lisa quickly ran to Downtown Springfield, where the gunshot was last heard. They spotted a huge crowd of Springfieldians and Homer on a carrier with his knee shot, and for some reason... the mafia under arrest by the Police Department.<p>

"I'll get you for it Homer!" Fat Tony shaked his own hand as a sign of revenge, while the police recovered a pistol from his hand.

"What happened?" A worried Bart, along with Lisa, ran to their father.

"I don't know! They said they found a horribly hand-wrote letter saying to shoot Skinner, supposedly the style of an young brat of some sort. They later notice that my handwriting and that handwriting was quite similar... than they noticed that I may have 'burrowed' some fancy alcohol from their secret warehouses..." Homer said.

"That's a... funny story... Homer..." Bart gulped.

"When I find who framed me! I'm going to strangle that little brat's neck so long that he won't have time for last words!" Homer angrily said.

Suddenly Bart and Lisa chuckled a bit, looking at each other, feeling a bit worried than ever.

"Now? Was their something you wanted to tell me, boy?" Homer asked.

"Uh... before I tell you Homer... You know how someone gets in real serious trouble and three months later, they tell it to their friends for a good laugh?" Bart said.

"Did you do something wrong?" Homer asked.

"Uh... I may have... wrote that letter..." Bart came out with the truth.

Suddenly Homer twitched his eye a bit and simply said, "Boy... I'm not mad at you... but... I'M GOING TO STRANGLE YOUR LITTLE NECK!"

Homer tried to grab his son's throat, but the little hoodlum ran away fast as he could, as Homer fell to the ground, off the stretcher trying to strangle the boy.

"DOH!" Homer said.

* * *

><p>(ENDING SCENE)<p>

A Looney Tunes Ending Scene appears at the end with "That's All Folks!" as a cartoonish 1950's Black and White Colored Motion Nick Riviera bursts through the background saying, "Bye Everybody!"


	10. Bergstrom Returns

Opening Gag - Bartman (AKA Bart) flies into the air with his sidekick, Houseboy (AKA Milhouse)

Billboard Gag - "I'm Bart Simpson, who the hell are you?" Bart Simpson appeared at a billboard

Chalkboard Gag - "America, let's see what happens in the next four years... sigh", "America, let's see what happens in the next four years... sigh"

Couch Gag - The Simpsons run to the couch in 19th Century Clothing, English Style

Ep 59 - S02E09 Date - April 14 2012

**Bergstrom Returns** Synopsis - Lisa feels depressed until Bergstrom appears, hired for a nice teaching job. Though things, won't turn well with Homer meeting Bergstrom again...

* * *

><p>It was a rainy morning this day, the skies were grey and little Lisa headed to a store wearing her old purple raincoat from last year. The store she entered, had many flowers, different kinds, but a depressing look held onto her face.<p>

"Excuse me." Lisa asked the man in charge.

"Yes little girl?" The Manager turned his attention to her.

"Do you have any roses? Purple ones?"

Lisa Simpson searched store after store for Purple Rose and this happened to be the last shop she know of that possibly could have such flowers.

"Hmm... actually... we just had a new shipment as of now. That will be twenty bucks a flower."

"Twenty Bucks!" Lisa was shocked.

"These roses don't come in easy. Rare where they come from. What do you need such roses anyway? Invited to a wedding? A flower girl? Seems strange on a rainy day." He said.

"It's for a dead friend." She looked down upon the ground.

"Oh... I see..." The Manager didn't expect such an answer.

He felt a bit sorry for her...

"Um... tell you what... how much do you have?" He asked

"Fifteen Dollars, a quarter, and an lollipop. Why?" Lisa asked.

"Well... Under some circumstances... the price dropped pretty low this day, I'll give five of those roses, just for you." He said.

"Thanks." Lisa showed a small smile on her face.

The Manager walked towards the back of the shop through a door. As the time passed by, he came back holding a batch of fresh purple roses wrapped by cloth.

"Here you go little girl." The Manager smiled as he glady handed the cloth wrapped roses to her.

In return, Lisa gave the money and lollipop she had.

"Thank you." Lisa responded, just before stepping out of the flower store as the manager watched.

"Aw... that's sweet." He said.

"Hey!" Apu said.

"Were you standing back their the whole time!"

"Standing back their! You told me to wait here for some red roses when I wanted some purple roses for my nagging wife! You say it's expensive until I see you giving five roses, not one, but five -!- to the girl for a cheaper deal!" Apu was furious.

"Were closed now. You should leave." He responded, not in kindness, but just sighing in boredom.

"Oh that's it! You are not welcome to my Kwik-E-Mart if my wife comes nagging around the place!" Apu said.

"Uh-huh... and I suppose that I shouldn't welcome you to my store, where your wife insist this is her favorite... especially with all the special flowers delivered from other countries such as India?" The Manager smirked a smile.

"Oh! Why! Well!... Err... You win this round!" An angry Apu pointed his finger right at him, just before leaving. "But I sware I'll be back!"

"You don't scare me!" He simply yelled at Apu, stomping his way out of the store.

* * *

><p>Lisa stepped out of Marge's Red Car and near to the gates, gazing the word, "SPRINGFIELD CEMETERY". Lisa stood by as Homer and Marge, carrying Maggie, stepped out.<p>

"Okay, Lisa. Take all the time you need, I'll be here waiting for Bart." Marge said.

"Where is Bart?" Homer noticed he was missing.

"He left an hour earlier from the house to the Kwik-E-Mart with Milhouse." Marge answered.

"That's just great." Lisa said, feeling too gloomy to say a good thing at all. "I'm depressed as usual and I bet Bart is having a great day with his friend."

* * *

><p>Meanwhile at the Kwik-E-Mart...<p>

"THIS IS A ROBBERY!" A Man with blue skin, wearing a lab coat and a pair of lab goggles burst in with a sack and explosives covering his own body.

"AAH!" Abe screamed as he grabbed unto his chest real tight, feeling a real heart attack on his hands. "Don't scare me like that!"

The Kwik-E-Mart was filled with people who dropped their belongings in shock, especially Bart and his best friend AKA sidekick and scapegoat, Milhouse, along with familiar citizens of the town such as Apu, Snake, Abe Simpson, and Clancy Wiggum.

"Stop it Snake!" Apu yelled.

"Hey! I didn't do anything... yet." Snake reacted as he grabbed a pack of chips.

"Sorry. Force of habit." The Indian American apologized.

"Someone! Someone call the police!" Chief Wiggum cried.

"You are the police!" Bart argued.

"Someone call an ACTUAL police!" Chief Wiggum cried.

"Okay! Look! The names Dr. Colossus. Don't you know me?" Dr. Colossus said.

"Oh yeah... you appeared less, more like cameo's, in the TV series and more often in the comics as a Simpsons Villain." Clancy Wiggum said.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Bart was confused of the mentioning of TV series and Comics.

"When I said TV series, I mean series of events that naturally occur and when I say Comics, I mean series of events that fans barely remember." Wiggum explained.

"Fans?" Apu was confused.

"You know, electronic fans that give you a good winding in your houses. They barely remember a thing having no CPU in them." Clancy Wiggum said.

"NEVER MIND THAT! Stop stalling and give in the cash!" Dr. Colossus demanded.

"Okay... I will reach for the cash... that I do not keep in the cash register..." Apu slowly reached under the counter for the one button activating the silent alarm. "That I keep... under... the counter."

Apu, with the press of a button, in need of help from the police, activated the silent alarm.

"SILENT ALARM ACTIVATED! SILENT ALARM ACTIVATED! EVERYONE REMAIN CALM!" The Speakers yelled loudly to a point that everyone could heart it just a mile away.

"Errr..." Dr. Colossus was becoming very impatient now.

"Damn that silent alarm. I meant to get that fixed." Apu sighed.

Suddenly the sound of police cars roared throughout the area, from outside to inside of the grocery store.

"Were saved!" An smiling Milhouse hurrayed, jumping in the air twice.

* * *

><p>The police cars rushed to the Kwik-E-Mart. One of the drivers were Louie and Eddie driving the police car, but have yet to hear the situation.<p>

"Louie to Jarvis. What's the situation?" Louie called onto the radio.

"We have a terrorist situation here at the Kwik-E-Mart. Some Mad Scientist with a degree in Physics for reasons unknown decided to rob a local grocery store." Jarvis called back at headquarters.

"Well we policemen in this town don't negotiate with terrorists, Jarvis. Can you find a group of policemen in another town who can negotiate with terrorists?" Eddie asked as he drove the car.

"Yeah? The last time we tried it out, a bomb took out three of our favorite pubs. Those were horrible times seeing all that beer go to waste." Louie, a little tear in his eye, could remember those unforgiving times. "Horrible times."

* * *

><p>Dr. Colossus was furious, walking in circles, thinking what to do with the hostages or maybe the whole Kwik-E-Mart.<p>

"Never mind! I'm going to send this place to hell!" Dr. Colossus yelled, with no thought to it, pressed the button with an evil grin to his face.

"Uh... excuse me." Apu was at the main entrance of the Kwik-E-Mart. "While you were talking, we seized the opportunity to escape. Please Come Again. I'll see you in hell!"

"Oh fiddle sticks." Dr. Colossus sighed.

* * *

><p>Lisa headed towards an old friends tombstone on this rainy day, walking past by a red capitalized K, smoking hot, flying from an certain explosion from a certain grocery store. Lisa didn't even noticed both the explosion or the K landing onto the grassy grounds of the cemetery. She was too busy were here on thoughts.<p>

"There it is." Lisa spotted the tombstone marked with the words, "HERE LIES BLEEDING GUMS MURPHY."

Lisa walked up to the gravestone, placing the purple rose near it.

"It's been a while but I'm here now." Lisa said, talking to the very gravestone that stood in front of her. "I don't know what to do anymore! I'm nine and yet I feel like your past is just slipping away from me! Even when I made the world realized who you are... I feel like... that you'll soon be gone... forever... Is this a part of growing up? To forget our past lives and move on to the future?"

"Oh Lisa." Marge stood beside her. "If you don't want to forget the past, preserve his memory... I mean... I do believe you still have Bleeding Gum's sax? Don't you?"

"Yeah but my grandma's... I have pictures of several memories being with them... I only have his sax and I don't think it's enough to remember him by." Lisa sighed.

"Well... I do know one place that can always be a good reminder..." Marge said.

"Yeah and this will be a good reminder of why I love duff!" Homer pulled a wagon all the way here, carrying ten tons of barrels filled with delicious frosty beer.

"Oh good lord..." Marge said.

"I just found it across the street! Wait till I bring this to Moe's." Homer said.

Meanwhile in the background, Moe walked in the cemetery confused saying, "I know I just had a shipment of beer here somewhere...", scratching his head.

* * *

><p>The Simpsons were ready to go until they noticed Bart just running towards them with Milhouse.<p>

"Bart? Where have you actually been? No one stay's this long at the Kwik-E-Mart." Marge said.

"A Mad Scientist took us hostage at the Kwik-E-Mart and threatened to blow it up! Ka-Boom! That's what!" Bart explained.

"Uh-huh... A Mad Scientist." Marge didn't believed in Bart's story one bit.

* * *

><p>The family stopped by near a certain bridge as the rain was nothing more than sprinkling droplets of water. Marge put the car in park near a parking lane before the front of the bridge. They weren't many cars around this bridge as of now but was well known for being an entrance and exit of Springfield, especially when it comes to transporting supplies and food.<p>

"Remember this place sweety? It's the Springfield Bridge?" Marge smiled.

"Yeah... I remember this... I first met Bleeding Gums at this bridge playing the most talented jazz I haven't heard for some time..." Lisa started to show a little smile, gazing at the same dusty bridgeside that Bleeding Gums sat.

"Well... everytime you pass by, seeing this bridge, you'll remember... 'Look World! Murphy played jazz their!'." Marge smiled, hoping she would cheer up a bit.

"Sorry mom..." The little girl's little smile suddenly got replaced with a frown. "I know you mean well... but... it's just not it..."

"He's your friend. He's just as memorable as your family members!" Marge said.

"WHY YOU LITTLE!" Homer, a family member, strangled Bart.

Suddenly Marge, Maggie and Lisa's attention focused from the bridge to Homer strangling Bart from the front seat to the back seat.

"THIS IS FOR NOT HOOKING THE WAGON OF BOOZE TO THE CAR BOY! YOU LOST THE BOOZE! YOU LOST THE BOOZE!" A furious Homer strangled his son.

"Ack! Eck! Ack!" Bart could barely breath.

* * *

><p>Nighttime at the Simpsons House, Lisa heard Bart calling out, "Oh Lisa!" repeatedly as if he had a surprise for him... Lisa only thought, "<em>Oh what is it now?<em>", strolling down the stairs thinking it's another of Bart's silly pranks. What was Bart up to this time? Nevertheless, Lisa wanted to get this over with.

"Oh Lisa!" Bart called her name out again.

"What?" Lisa stepped into the TV room.

She saw Bart holding the phone as he dialed in a few numbers immediately as he saw him.

"Let me guess? Prank calls to cheer me up." She sighed.

"Yeah. Let's try one." Bart grinned.

* * *

><p>At Moe's Tavern, Moe was real angry that his shipment of beer suddenly just disappeared as Homer, Carl, Lenny, Barney, and a few other usual drunks listened to his angry repeating yelling's.<p>

"Dang it! I had a wagon of barrels filled with the newest brand of beer and suddenly it goes missing! I knew I shouldn't have left it for a few minutes at the cemetery" Moe said.

"Yeah!" Homer was on his side. "I hope you jab a nail to whoever stole it, Moe!"

"Hey Homer, why are you suddenly agreeing with one of Moe's nasty threats?" Carl said.

"Just angry too! It's the boy, Bart." Homer angrily said. "He lost a wagon of barrels filled with delicious beer I found near the cemetery."

"Hey... wait a minute..." Moe just realized something.

"Yeah?" Homer took a sip of beer from his jug.

"You! It was you! You haven't paid your tabs haven't you!" Moe pointed the finger at him.

"Okay! Okay! Here's the tab money I owe you. Sheesh." Homer placed fifty bucks on the counter.

Moe quickly swiped, just as a phone rang. Moe was about to reach for the phone until he stopped for a minute.

"Wait a minute? Unknown caller?" Moe looked at the Caller ID. "It must be that damn prankster who makes me so mad!"

Moe swiped the phone with bitter temper and yelled, "HEY YOU! IF YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST PRANK CALL ME! THINK AGAIN YOU!"

"We, KBBL Radio, were going to give the 38th Caller a million dollars but Soooorrrry! I guess you can't handle our prank station! You can't take a joke!" Bill spoke through the phone.

"Bill and Marty? KBBL Radio Station! Look! I'm sorry!" Moe tried to apologized.

"Bye bye." Bill hanged up the phone.

"Oh damn it!" Moe said.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile at the Simpsons house, Bart kept hearing, "BEEP! The person your calling does not exist." on the phone.<p>

"Dang it. Must've changed phone number. I'll find out either way. Hey Lise? Lise?" Bart noticed Lisa was walking straight out of here.

She wondered why she was just looking down upon the ground, feeling utterly depressed. Bart thought, "_What's her problem?_"

* * *

><p>It was another school day in the morning and Lisa looking depressed as ever walked into the school hallways, passing by some friends.<p>

"Hi Lisa!" Janie said next to Allison and Alexis.

"_Hi guys..._" Lisa spoke in glum-moody voice.

The three wondered why she's in such a bad mood thinking that she could use a little cheering up. Janie, Allison, and Alexis walked along side her as Janie asked, "What's up?"

"Nothing new..." Lisa replied.

"You know... I'm having a party on Friday... You want to come?" Alexis asked.

"No thanks..." Lisa replied.

"There's a spelling tournament soon. I bet you wouldn't even miss that." Allison smiled.

"Not feeling like it..." Lisa just walked off.

The three stood their wondering that something must've really ticked her off... but what?

* * *

><p>As Lisa was walking with her head facing at the ground, the ceiling, some walls, it mostly faced toward the ground feeling disheartened inside. She turned her head up, and unexpectedly saw a man carrying stacks of boxes coming her way. The man couldn't see where he was going with that many boxes and Lisa didn't know what to do as he was coming. The two bumped into each other, falling to the ground as around five to seven boxes scattered on the floor.<p>

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have just stood their and..."

"No need Lisa..." The Man said.

Suddenly Lisa recognized that voice. It was familiar to her. She turned her head up, surprised, and said, "Bergstrom?"

"Yep. That's my last name." Mr. Bergstrom smiled.

"Wh..What are you doing here? I thought you went to Capital City." Lisa was shocked, yet felt a mix of different emotions throughout her head.

"Your looking at the new Language Art's teacher. Ms. Kawson, I believe she's called, found a better paying job at Capital City... though... Capital City has... changed much..." Bergstrom sighed.

"Changed? How..."

"Y...You don't want to know..." Bergstrom frowned a bit, nevertheless he turned that frown upside down, glad to see one of his favorite students around. "Anyway? How've you've been?"

"Depressed..." Lisa simply answered.

"Let me guess... the grief of a dead friend? I've seen that look before." Mr. Bergstrom spoke.

"Yeah... I feel like... he's slipping away... That growing up is also to forget the past..." Lisa sighed.

Mr. Bergstrom sighed, placing the palm of his hand onto Lisa's shoulder. He was going to say something.

"Lisa... I had a dead friend just like you... You know what makes me remember that I care for the memories of my ancestor's... Music, Gifts, and even candy. Something the Mexicans do on Halloween night, only they call it the Day of The Dead. Though of course you already knew that." Mr. Bergstrom said.

"That's... nice. I think I'll do that." Lisa felt cheered up.

"Speaking of music... I haven't heard the lovely sax player for a long time. How about you come to my class after school. My homeroom, like other 5th and 6th grade rooms, are on the second floor. I don't just want to see that Sax or the fancy playing. I want to see the spirit alive inside you. What do you say?" Mr. Bergstrom showed a kind smiled, a token of appreciation you may call it.

"Th...That would be nice..." Lisa smiled back.

* * *

><p>Children were running gladly out of school, ready to enjoy the rest of the day, all but Lisa Simpson who stayed after school. She stood before Bergstrom's door ready to play her sax, just about to step in... until she heard a conversation. She peaked and was a bit surprised to see this.<p>

"Hello Bergstrom... You wanted to see me?" Mr. Nental grinned.

"Stop it with the tricks Nental." Bergstrom sighed, feeling very disappointed in the man.

"What do you ever mean?"

"The children told me about your horrific ways of teaching... Who you really are... You can't fool me like you fool the others. I know who you are." The serious look in his eyes was not some show.

"You don't actually believe whatever the rascals have told you? Do you?" Mr. Nental said.

"I believe a child's word by just telling their faces. I can tell if they could lie and they weren't lying one bit. I was a bit shocked... but now I think you should head off..."

"To what? The prison? Send me to the FBI!" Mr. Nental's cold sheering appearance started revealing itself. "You have no proof. I am as clean on the outside as a thief blending in with the crowd..."

"Proof or not. I will protect these children from a cold-blooded scoundrel like yourself." Bergstrom, serious he was, spoke against Nental's mental crazed mind.

"Or what?" Mr. Nental calmly spoke.

"Or I'll give a call to the FBI. You only fool the town with a name and they don't even know that your resemble 100% to one of FBI's most wanted... but the FBI, no... They can tell who's a fake and your a fake, Nental." Bergstrom said.

"You wouldn't dare." Nental looked at him with a mean eye, one serious and taunting, yet it didn't scared Bergstrom at all.

"I will. I researched how you strike Nental and apparently their is a little weakness to it... and I'll be on my guard if you try to strike me down."

"Heh heh..." Nental gave an evil grin. "Tell me? You could do it right now and have the kids continue their lives normal... why let me continue this way? You could even get a big reward for such a good deed."

"Because... I believe in people can change... even the most twisted of hearts... especially from a man who can't lay a finger on a child anymore." Bergstrom said.

"Well played... but I can't change... and you can't stay on your guard forever..." Nental stepped out of the classroom.

As Nental stepped out grinning, Lisa just stood their. Nental didn't even gave a look, he didn't even say such a despicable twisted remark. He just ignored her, was he actually going with Bergstrom's deal?

"Lisa? You heard it... didn't you?" Bergstrom sighed.

"Uh... yes..." Lisa stepped in with her sax. She looked at Nental, worried for his safety, she didn't want to lose another friend like Murphy... especially to one who's insane. "Nental can't change. He's already gone onto a road that won't change direction anytime soon..."

"Lisa... I've actually seen his kind at a mental hospital. I actually helped those kind of patients for over four years. It wasn't easy at all... not even at the end I was sure that they were fully changed as the patients leaved. I believe that his kind can change, Lisa. You just got to have time..." Bergstrom said.

"But he's a monster! He's worst! He's a cannibalistic psychotic murderer!" Lisa argued in rage. "He could probably fool you easily of change by just going into one of his kind old man persona's!"

"Lisa. I believe your familiar with Dualism." Bergstrom said.

"Yes... Good cannot exist without evil. I know." Lisa sighed.

"And unfortunately, their is more evil than good in the world... but it doesn't mean that people can stay that way forever..." Bergstrom said.

"I.. I know..." Lisa lowered her head, facing to the ground, still worried about her safety.

Bergstrom noticed Lisa's unhappy nature. "Lisa. You still haven't show me your musical talent."

"Well... Okay." Lisa showed a little smile.

* * *

><p>Night-time at The Simpsons house, Homer grunted on Pork Chop Night, the one day where he loved to eat pork chops... only to get replaced by chicken. He just sat their at the dinner table as Marge, Bart, Lisa, and even Maggie settled up the table for a guest, Bergstrom.<p>

"Oh! Why do we have to eat fried chicken over pork chops?" Homer sighed.

"Dad!" Lisa looked at her father a bit serious. "I want everything to be perfect and since Bergstrom is Jewish, he can't eat pork."

"So? That Muslim friend of Bart's, Bashir, tasted a can of beer during that one day." Homer said.

"Yeah... that wasn't a good idea, Homer." Bart said. "Bashir is now grounded for a month by his own parents and even after that, he's not supposed to enjoy any of his favorite food or TV shows until June."

Suddenly they heard the door bell rang.

"It's him! It's him!" Lisa had a hard time breathing. "Is the dinner table set? Do I look organized! There's a bouquet of flowers on the table?

"Yes. Lisa." Marge smiled. "Now I'll just get the door and..."

Too late. Lisa dashed to the entry room, and quickly she did, opened the door, knewing it was Bergstrom at the door.

"MAAATTTTLOOOOOCKKKK!" Abe screamed at the door.

"Grandpa?" Lisa was disappointed.

The rest of the family came to see if it's the guest Lisa mentioned of, but it was only Grandpa Simpson.

"Mattlock!" Abe Simpson screamed out an Elderly TV favorite. "My favorite TV show comes in a few minutes! I had to use the nearest TV so..."

"Sure! Sure!" Lisa answered. "Just hurry! Bergstrom is coming any..."

"Hello their Lisa." Bergstrom came smiling at the entryway, surprising Lisa at the most unpredictable moment.

Lisa looked at how he was wearing a mix of western but modern day clothing, sporting a brown leather coat, blue jeans, and a belt with the words, "Texas" on it, but this time no big Cowboy Hat to go with it.

"Oh god! Your here!" Lisa had a hard time breathing. "Let's have a wonderful meal now. A wonderful meal. A wonderful meal."

"Why did you say that three times?" Bergstrom was a bit worried and curious of why Lisa was acting so awkward.

Suddenly Lisa, not knowing what to do or say, fell to the ground.

"Uh... That's her way of saying, 'come in'." Marge said.

* * *

><p>Bergstrom's dinner was going really well with The Simpsons, they had fried chicken with a side serving of mash potatoes and pea's. Lisa, a vegetarian, enjoyed the mash potatoes and pea's but instead of fried chicken, she had two corn cobs.<p>

"And that's why Marxism will truly never become a reality if a group of higher people for a lust of power turns it into communism." Bergstrom said.

"So what your saying is this Karl Marx guy... is evil?" Homer said.

"What? No. I'm saying that other people turned his ideas into something else." Bergstrom said.

"So he's evil?" Homer was still quite confused.

"Uh dad... why don't you get another serving of fried chicken? Will you?" Lisa was a bit worried that Homer might ruin everything, even by a little conversation.

"Sure. Why not." Homer drooled over the tasteful scent of fried chicken.

"Hey guess what." Bart said. "I found an old 1987 Lego piece in the backyard."

"Guess what I did." Lisa said. "I just..."

"Wait Lisa. Want to hear what Bart says." Homer smiled, interrupting her daughter. "What color was it?"

"You know." Lisa spoke." I did just..."

"Shush Lisa. Your brother is trying to say something." Homer again interrupted Lisa.

"Uh... Simpson." Mr. Bergstrom sighed, finding something about Homer... disappointing.

"Yes Mr. Bergstrong." Homer said.

"It's Bergstrom... and apparently... I don't think you've been giving Lisa the attention she needs... even a smart self-educated girl needs attention." Mr. Bergstrom said.

"What? You think that I ignore my daughter?" Homer said.

"Homer. I think he may actually be right." Marge said.

"Bergstrom is usually right." Lisa felt a bit disappointed in her father as well. "You have..."

"Shush Lisa. I need to talk with the crazy man." Homer didn't even looked at Lisa's face.

"Look Homer." Bergstrom said. "I'm staying in Springfield for a long time, but I'm not always goign to be their for Lisa. Your her role model, you have to be their for her... but your proving to be... excuse my langauge... an ogre."

"WHAT! Get. Out. Of my house. Right now." Homer demanded.

"Dad!" Lisa became angry of him.

"Shush Lisa. I can't focus with your mumbling." Homer, again, ignored Lisa.

"Look Simpson." Bergstrom tried to reason with him, but it was no use. "Your going to have to..."

"Get! OUT!" Homer pointed to the way out.

"Fine... I will. If your not going to listen to me... at least listen to your daughter... your whole family if must..." Bergstrom stood from his chair. "Oh by the way. The dinner was lovely, Ms Simpson. It really..."

"GET OUT!" Homer demanded again.

Bergstrom, this time, just left in silence. The whole family could hear the door slamming on the way out as Lisa was furious with Homer's stubborn irresponsible nature.

"Finally that jerk goes. Me? An ogre?" Homer said, still feeling a bit angry about it.

Bart, Marge, and Maggie were too silent about it, but Lisa, her anger told her otherwise.

"Yes dad. You are an ogre!" Lisa

"What? You can't agree with that jerk too?" Homer said.

"Jerk? The only jerk their has been is the Ogre! I'm looking at!" Lisa yelled at her father.

"If you like him so much! Why don't you let him be his role model! Huh?" Homer was quite angry at Lisa's behavior.

"Guess what! He is, so was Bleeding Gums Murphy! Now I have a good reason to not let go of the past! To not let go of Bleeding Gums Murphy! Because he was a good role model! He was just as great as Bergstrom! But YOU! YOU ON THE OTHER HAND! WAS NEVER A GOOD ROLE MODEL! YOU ARE A COMPLETE SELFISH NO GOOD SENSELESS OGRE!" Lisa was mad, furious. She pointed her finger right at the tip of Homer's nose.

"Wha..."

"Lisa... Calm down." Marge was a bit worried where this argument could go.

"Yeah Lise... Calm down already." Bart added.

"NO! HE HEARD ME FAIR AND SQUARE! AN OGRE! THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE! AND YOU KNOW WHAT?"

"What?" Homer simply responded, not angry at all, but rather listening.

"I.. I... I don't know... I just needed to take my mind off..." Lisa calm down. "I'm going to bed..."

Homer watched Lisa stood up from her chair and walked off to the entry-room. He could hear the stairs tapping, and he wasn't sure what to do now.

"Oh... maybe I should... cheer her up..." Homer said.

"You should... Lisa was quite furious... and Bergstrom was right." Marge said. "I'm sorry Homer, but you were acting like a jerk."

"Yeah... I better do something about it." Homer said.

* * *

><p>The lights were off as Homer saw Lisa under the blanket from the lighted hallways, feeling guilty knowing in his heart that this was his fault<p>

"You want me to get you some warm milk? Your favorite doll? Or read you a bedtime story?" Homer spoke, hoping she would find it in her heart to forgive him.

"No." Lisa simply denied. Homer could hear the glum moody feeling as she spoke.

"Please! Let me make it up to you." Homer stepped into Lisa's room.

"I forgive you." She simply said.

"You didn't mean that!" Homer bursted his mouth out. He walked further and sat on Lisa's bed, feeling just as bad as her. "Oh please Lisa. I bet there's something I could do."

"I don't know what you could do..." Lisa replied.

"_Oh... Lisa thinks I'm a real jerk..."_ Homer thought. It was then he noticed Lisa's sax, her favorite instrument.

"Uh... Lisa..." Homer said.

"What?"

"You never... You never told me what your favorite song was..." Homer said.

"What do you care?" Lisa grunted.

"I just want to know..."

"I only sang it a few times... It's... Jazzman." Lisa replied. "It was my last song with Bleeding Gums... I'll never forget him now."

"You don't mind if I... hear it?" Homer asked.

"Sure..." Lisa didn't seem to mind at all.

She grabbed her sax, placing the tip to her mouth, beginning to play a tune.

"_Lift me won't you lift me above... above... uh_..." Lisa started to singing well, jazzing it up, until she suddenly hesistated.

"What's wrong Lisa?" Homer said.

"I...I think I may have forgotten some of the lyrics..." Lisa sighed, feeling disapointed in herself this time.

"Well... you can practice all night long if you want..." Homer placed her hand gently on Lisa's shoulder.

"Won't that be bothersome for your sleep?" Lisa asked, feeling it bit shocked yet unsurprised in her father at the sametime.

"No honey. You keep on trying. Keep on playing that tune and I'll be in bed to hear it." Homer smiled.

"T..Thanks dad..." Lisa smiled, placing her instrument beside her bed.

Homer smiled again at her daughter, taking a few steps to the doorway, before the fat man could even leave. He looked at little Lisa one more time before going to bed, smiling for her. Lisa smiled back, and so Homer turned around and left.

"I'm feeling sleepy..." Lisa yawned.

She then looked at her sax, thinking she could play one more tune.

"_Oh, why not?"_ Lisa thought.

She grabbed the saxophone, and held it to her mouth and fingers. Then she gazed at the moon, spotting the very same bridge where she first met Bleeding Gums. She wondered if she could remember the whole song... than she spotted a picture frame for encouragement. A picture frame that held no picture but a letter in cursive, "You Are Lisa Simpson...". She gazed at the moon again, smiling.

_Lift me won't you lift me above the old routine_

_Make it nice_  
><em>play it clean<em>  
><em>Jazzman!<em>

_When the Jazzman's testifyin', a faithless man believes._  
><em>He can sing you into paradise, or bring you to your knees.<em>  
><em>Jazzman, take my blues away, Make my pain the same as yours with every change you play.<em>  
><em>Jazzman, oh... Jazzman.<em>

"One more time!" Lisa yelled throughout the neighborhood.

Meanwhile in the master bedroom.

"Oh c'mon..." Homer whined, trying to get some sleep. "I thought she was only going to do it once..."


	11. The 10th Tale, The Simpsons On Stage

(JOKES ANDS SCENES OF DETAIL ARE ITALICIZED DUE TO A POLL)

Opening Gag - Mr. Sparkle fly through the air

Chalkboard Gag - "INSERT JOKE", "INSERT JOKE"

Couch Gag - The Simpsons tripped as they ran falling onto the couch, each of them saying at the same time, "D'OH!"

Ep 59 - S02E09 Date - June 19 2012

**The Simpsons On Stage** Synopsis - The Simpsons finds out that theirs a play about... The Simpsons?...

* * *

><p>Homer Simpson, father, husband, and occasional drinker, took his time on the couch, watching a TV Program called McGarnacle.<p>

"Hee Hee Hee." Homer Simpson giggled like a little school girl. He than paused a moment and said "I have _absolutely no idea_ what's going on."

As Homer was mindlessly _focusing his two eyes_ on the program, Marge stepped in holding a piece of paper in her hand. Even though Homer's mind were focused on the program, he could hear her footsteps entering the TV room.

"Homer. Look what I found" Marge said.

"Yes honey?" Homer's _Right Eye_ turned to Marge.

"Look at this." Marge revealed the piece of paper to Homer.

Homer grabbed the play and his right eye focused at the poster of a play but it was a picture of The Simpsons and the play was titled, "The Simpsons" as well.

"Oh my god! They _sell hotdogs_ at the theater now?" Homer was shocked. "I thought it was just at the movies but _in play's_ too? What will _scientist's_ think next?"

"Homer! There's a play about us that we didn't even heard about until today. I just got these tickets got free from the mailbox." Marge argued.

"Oh my god! Your right!" Homer was shocked again.

"According to this poster..." Marge said. "The director researched our family history, looked into our interests, and oh my god! Kiefer Sutherland, star of 24, is _playing as Chief Wiggum_!"

"Oh Margie, why would Springfield want to see us on the stage?" Homer, calm as a rock, smiled feeling that there's nothing to worry about.

* * *

><p>Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie were all dressed adequately. The Simpsons took a step into the only room of the Aztec Movie Theatre, which apparently also hold's musicals and plays. The tickets they had in their hands also had reservations for first seats so there was no need of searching for an empty seat in a hurry. As soon as they entered, they were a bit shocked.<p>

"Oh my god... All of Springfield has come." Lisa said.

"Look! Theirs Krusty, Akira, the Yes Guy, Dr. Hibbert, and even Dr. Monroe." Bart pointed out.

"Monroe? I thought he was _dead_ since Mom protested against Itchy and Scratchy." Lisa said.

"Nope. Perfectly alive." Dr. Monroe passed them, holding a bucket of chicken wings.

"Hrmm..." Marge didn't like the look of this.

The Simpsons went to the front row of the seats, five seats reserved just them right in front of the stage itself.

"Huh. This is not bad. These front row seats are more comfortable than those sticky cheese stained seats at the back." Homer said.

Meanwhile at the back Carl was in disgust and said. "Who's the kid who left cheese all over this seat."

"That would be _me_." Comic Book Guy said. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a criticizing report to tell on my blog about his play, just like _every other_ play I've been through."

At the front, the lights went blank but the lights of the stage went on as Lisa smiled, "Shh... The play's starting."

The curtains before the audience slided to opposite sides revealing two actors standing in the shadow of Springfield Elementary, near the parking lot during a paper-pieced winter.

"There's us." Homer whispered to Marge.

"This may not be bad at all..." Marge showed a good grin.

The play was set into focus, the two stepped out of the shadow revealing themselves. Homer saw a over-weighted buck tooth man wearing a white stretched shirt and extra large jeans .

"What! My pants aren't Extra Extra Large! That is totally inaccurate! It's _two_ Extra Extra Large Pants _sown together_!" Angry Homer complained.

Marge was also shocked, dropping her jaw as a matter of fact. The Marge here was played by a big chested and tall legged woman in green clothing and a blue hair prop taped to her head. She carried a doll wrapped in blue clothing. Probably Maggie was the doll.

"My hips are not that big." Marge showed a bit of frustration in her muscle.

"We better hurry up, y'al. We'll miss ther youngling's performanceses." The Man spoke in a Southern Accent in poor grammar as well. "I mean, I'm so hungry. I could eat a cow!"

The whole audience started laughing at this version of Homer, everyone but Homer found it offending.

Acting Marge took a step further, weeping in tears, "Oh no. If we don't make it. Than we can't give any encouragement to the kids. We'll never forgive ourselves. We must never lose hope."

Marge twitched her eye a bit and said, "I'm not that emotional... And their only a _few inches_ away to the school!"

"Well... at least they got the _nagging part right_." Homer mumbled.

"What was that?" Marge came face to face angrily to a coward Homer.

"Nothing dear." Homer whistled, looking the other way.

* * *

><p>Bart and Lisa smiled as the next scene introduced them.<p>

A girl stepped out of the shadow as Lisa smiled, "Ooh! That's me!"

An _Indian Girl_ stepped out of the shadows wearing a similar Hawaiian Costume that Lisa wore at the Christmas play.

"Go little sweet!" Apu yelled.

"Make us proud!" Sanjay yelled.

"Sanjay? Your daughter is playing me?" Lisa is surprised.

"Hey Hey! You got something to say. Say it to someone else. Oh look!" Apu pointed out.

The little Indian Girl playing Lisa Simpson, started a dangerous but pretty good fire dance as everyone was amazed by the tricks. None touched the curtains and each stick of fire was easily catched by the palm of that girl's hand.

"_She's good._" Lisa thought. "_A little too good..."_

"Hey look Lise! It's my scene." Bart smiled. "Who am I _played by?_ A fiery _skateboarder_. Ooh! A _daredevil_? What about a _motorcyclist_ how about a..."

"Bart!" Acting Skinner, who wore an _eye patch_.

This was the exact scene where Bart ruined the Christmas Song, but Bart could not see who the actor was behind that crowd of people.

"Stop your shenanigans." Skinner grabbed a hold of Acting Bart.

"_Hee Hee_! You can't stop me!" A _Feminine Voice giggled_ throughout the audience's ears.

"What? The? Hell?" Bart was the most shocked as Homer, Marge, and Lisa tried to hold their laughter's in.

"I'm Bart Simpson! You can't stop me!" A Ten Year-Old Blond _Actress, yes an Actress_, plays the role of underachiever Bart.

"I AM NOT A GIRL!" Bart angrily yelled.

"Haw Haw!" Nelson stood up from the audience, pointing at Bart. "You _sound_ like a girl!

"_Hee hee_! You can't stop my pranks, Principle Skinner!" Acting Bart giggled again.

"Since when do I say hee hee?" Bart angrily argued.

Lisa chuckled. "You do have to admit. You do sound like your _voiced by a girl_ at times."

"Errr..." Bart's anger was rising.

* * *

><p>The next scene already began, showing Acting Marge holding onto the wheel of a wooden vehicle prop during a traffic scene. Policemen, Ambulances, and even the S.W.A.T. Team came over. There was Acting Chief Wiggum, played by Kiefer Sutherland, well known for playing as Jack Bauer, star of 24.<p>

Acting Chief Wiggum held a megaphone near his mouth as Lisa sighed in disappointment of this play.

"Okay missy! Stop the traffic right this instance and tell us where the _bomb_ is! We already have _24 hours left_!" Acting Wiggum yelled.

"That's some _nice acting, boys_." Chief Wiggum spoke in the audience.

One of the Policeman actors at the scene looked a bit stunned of his acting, and whispered into Acting Chief Wiggum.

"There's no bomb plot! But I _always_ act in bomb plots! I'm freaking Kiefer Sutherland! WHERE'S THE BOMB ACT DAMMIT!" Acting Chief Wiggum came into a furry rage.

The mad man threw a bunch of props to the floor. He was going a bit mad but the Policemen Actors quickly restrain him and dragged him behind the curtains as the audience was confused if this was acting or real, except for Wiggum who smiled.

"Whoa? I _didn't knew_ I got dragged off by my own men." Wiggum smiled.

* * *

><p>A Russian Actress playing as Edna Krabappel stood next to the crying Acting Bart, who the real Bart in the audience was still frustrated at being played by a girl. It took place at the 4th Grade Classroom, where Acting Bart Simpson sobbed and sobbed over a certain paper on his desk.<p>

"I'm emotionally hurt teach." Acting Bart cried.

"_Emotionally_?" Bart's anger intensified, at least for a kid that is.

"Heh heh. You actually _cried_ over an F?" Lisa chuckled.

"Shut up!" Bart didn't like to admit it.

* * *

><p>Acting Bart appeared on the stage again, angrily next to the Android's Dungeon, as he was fighting over Radioactive Man Issue 1# over Acting Milhouse, and Acting Martin. The actors playing them was pretty odd, as Martin was played by an Old Chinese Immigrant with Dwarfism while Acting Milhouse, was played by a handsome tan American with Cuban Ancestry in his blood.<p>

"Is it just me? Or does this scene look familiar?" Milhouse spoke in the audience.

"This is my comic!" All three of the actors yelled.

Suddenly Acting Comic Book Guy stepped out, played by a skinny old Anthony Hopkins stepped out laughing like an insane maniac.

"HAH HAH!" Acting Comic Book Guy laughed as lightning shook.

He closed the door with a grin on his face as he placed a, "Were Closed!" sign at his door.

"Man." Lenny smiled in the audience. "That was the most talented evil laugh ever."

"Yep." Carl said. "If anyone can laugh like an evil maniac, it's Anthony Hopkins."

"Oh puh-leeze." Comic Book Guy sighed. "Worst Evil Laugh Ever!"

"Can you please go one minute without saying Worst Something ever?" Carl sighed.

"No. I cannot. I practically invented Worst Thing Ever on the internet." Comic Book Guy said.

* * *

><p>Acting Mr. Burns on the stage, choking on Acting Marge's cooking, which appears to be set in the Simpson's Dining Room. He quickly spitted it out. It was a piece of fish that Acting Mr. Burns choked on. He than turned to the Three Eyed Fish, aka Blinky, in disgust.<p>

"Hmm... Smither's... I don't recall this." Mr. Burns spoke in the audience.

"You don't remember sir? You tried to run for governor against Governor Mary Bailey until that dinner with Homer Simpson and his family ruined your chances of being elected." Smither's explained.

"Ah yes. Homer Simpson, eh... I'll have a revenge served cold..." Mr. Burns spoke. "Did you _write that down_, Smither's?"

"No Sir. I don't have a pen." Smither's said.

"Eh, _I'll probably remember it_. Say? How is Governor Mary Bailey?"

"Doing fine, sir." Smither's answered.

* * *

><p>The stage set the next scene, their Acting Bart was on the cardboard-made road unconscious as Acting Burns and Acting Smither's stood to look at the unconscious "boy" who recently got hit by Burns's car.<p>

"Hurry up and just give him a penny." Mr. Burns said.

"No Monty! NO! NO! NO!" Acting Smither's yelled in tragedy. "WE MUST TAKE HIM TO THE HOSPITAL! WE MUST! BEFORE! IT'S TOO LAAAATTEEEEE!"

"Oh lord." Lisa sighed at the acting.

Suddenly Smither's shushed her saying, "Some people are trying to enjoy this play".

* * *

><p>ACT I was over and The Simpsons and the rest of the Springfieldians stepped out of the theatre room. Everyone enjoyed the play, everyone but the Simpsons.<p>

"Since when do I sound like a girl?" Bart argued.

"I was barely in the play. I was depicted in only a few scenes. At least you got all the attention" Lisa grunted.

"That play made my hips too big and I'm not too emotional." Marge found it also unpleasant.

"It depicted me as a _dumb, alcoholic, fat pig who loves bowling, TV, and pork chops_!" Homer said.

"Uh... Homer. You are a dumb, alcoholic fat pig who love bowling, TV, and pork chops." Bart said.

Ned Flanders overheard their consistent disgust in the play, and came to see what' was all the ruckus.

"What's going on?" Ned looked a little worried about his neighbors.

"That play was entirely inaccurate."Homer said.

"Oh... well... I actually have to disagree with you their." Ned said.

"Wha?" The Family looked at him as if he was the crazy one.

"Well... it's true. Lisa, even with the friends and family... you're rarely noticed." Ned said.

"That's not true!... At times..." Lisa responded.

"And Marge, you are a bit too emotional and you do happen too nag a lot."

"I do not nag a lot, Ned." Marge, crossed her arms angrily.

"Bart, I actually have to admit... but you sound like a cartoon character voiced by a little girl. At least they depicted you as the same trickster." Ned said.

"What?" Bart was shocked.

"And Homer. That play was entirely accurate on you... except for the Southern Stereotype. I mean Springfield is in a Northern State." Ned said.

"What! I do not have a low IQ, I don't drink that much, and I'm don't overeat... wait a minute... oh my god." Homer looked at his own weight, his own stubby hands as well. "My hands still have a _bit of liquor smell on it_."

"Well, everyone. Hope I didn't make you go a bit berserk. Anyway, the next act is coming. Who knows? Maybe they'll depict your good side." Ned afterwards, walked away, smiling.

The Simpsons family members looked at each other in a bit worry that Ned could be right, and than Lisa admitted... "When do we have a good side?"

* * *

><p>Acting Lionel Hutz stepped onto the stage as it was now depicted in a Court between Bart, the Springfield Mafia, and the Death of Principle Skinner.<p>

"I'm Lionel Hutz. Attorney of Law." Acting Lionel Hutz spoke, played by a slim man with a bald shaped haircut.

"Huh." Lisa spoke in the audience next to Bart. "What ever _happened to Lionel Hutz and... oh yeah, Troy McClure_?"

"I think their _retired or something_." Bart guessed.

"How come I don't see them in Springfield as much?" Lisa asked.

"That _remains a mystery_..." Bart replied.

* * *

><p>On the stage, a cardboard tree loomed over a Cuban Acting Milhouse and what appears to be a Russian Accent Acting Jessica Love Joy during a cardboard moon.<p>

"Come here _handsome._" Acting Jessica said.

Lisa in the audience spoke, "This is a load of crap. This never happened."

"Shhh!" Bart shushed his sister, concentrating on this very scene. Bart for once was not angry at a scene.

"I thought you were _Bart's_ Girl." The Handsome Cuban Acting Milhouse stepped back.

Bart nodded his head in silence, that he was at one time.

"Oh puh-leaze. He's more like a friend, a childish friend who doesn't have a tough attitude like you Milhouse." Jessica stepped one step closer. "He won't know a thing that we've been dating."

"Heh! That fool will never know what happened." The Acting Milhouse grinned.

The two actors held hands as they walked off leftwards behind the curtains.

Meanwhile, Jessica and Milhouse who sat next to each other in the audience looked at each other in real disgust.

"I think I'll sit somewhere else... on the far right" Milhouse said, sweating nervously..

"Yes... I will too... on the far left." Jessica also spoke nervously..

The two stood up, Milhouse heading to the far right and Jessica heading to the far left of the audience room.

* * *

><p>Acting Southern Accent Homer and Old Russian Acting Abe Simpson were in a operating room, each in a separate bed looking at each other as the doctor was getting prepared. They were both worried as the sound of heart's beating in the air. They wondered how it could end, how it would turn out. They had a last minute talk... just before the operation would happen.<p>

"Y..You know son. I'm sorry for calling you an accident." The Russian Voiced Acting Abe spoke to Acting Homer.

"I'm sorry for putting you in that home of yours." Acting Homer said.

"Don't be sorry. Even though I hated all the young people working their... treating us like we didn't achieved anything... I met my old friends from the army, I met Beatrice, my old girlfriend, and I, who inherited my girlfriend's money, gave the Retirement home a big makeover and even named the dining room after her. It was great seeing the elderly happy rather than living in a damped-condition old home." Acting Abe said.

"Happy?" Lisa thought that this was already inaccurate.

"Shush! Let me listen to this." Homer shushed her daughter.

"You know what else. I've won the Medal of Honor, owned a personal collection of Action and Detective Comics, got drunk with my friends... it was the life... but that was then when I married to Mona Simpson." Acting Abe spoke. "Later on, I had you. I gave up the rest of my life of fun and excitement just to raise you... and I don't care what others think. I love you son." Acting Abe cried.

"I love you pa!" Southern Acting Homer cried as well.

Homer, in the audience had a little tear in his eye, as Marge noticed this.

"Homer? Are you crying?" Marge placed her hand upon his shoulder.

"I know a grown man shouldn't cry... but I just want to see my old man." Homer took a napkin, blowing his nose straight on it.

"You mean me?" Old Jewish Man stood up from his chair next to a bunch of elderly folk.

"What?" Homer stopped crying. "Hell No."

"He means me." Abe stood up from his chair, next to Old Jewish Man and Jasper.

"Uh...Sorry, dad. Your friend kind of _ruined_ the moment... how about some other time." Homer sighed.

"Oh rascals!" Abe shook his fist, and sat down.

* * *

><p>The Stage now took to the interior of the bus, where all the school children were singing along as Otto, played by some hippie, stopped the bus.<p>

"Okay... were almost... Wait a minute! I almost forgot to pick up the new kid." Otto smiled.

"Ooh! This is where I come in!" Francine smiled to Lisa.

"Francine?" Lisa turned to her.

"Yeah, NOW WATCH THIS SCENE!" She shook her fist.

Lisa gulped and turned back to the stage, listening to her command.

The bus's door opened, revealing someone stepping into the bus... it was a bit of a shock.

"Hello. I'm Francine!" A Muscular Tall Man wearing a little girl's dress and a red haired wig, who spoke in a Hulk Hogan Accent.

Lisa tried to hold her laughter, but she knew she couldn't hold it for even a second.

"Haw Haw!" Nelson pointed at Francine from the far back of the audience.

"I...I sound like a man?" Francine stood their, not knowing what to feel at first.

"Well... That's just how this play portrays some people." Lisa chuckled.

"Are you kidding me?... This is the BEST PLAY EVER!" Francine smiled.

"Wha..." Lisa was confused.

* * *

><p>After ACT II, The Simpsons and the rest of the audience stepped out.<p>

"Heh... I found Francine to be funny in that play." Lisa chuckled.

"I found myself more memorable than I thought." Homer said.

"The Second ACT was... alright." Marge spoke. "But it still shows us as some _dysfunctional family_... We are not a dysfunctional family... right?"

"Uh... Sure..." Bart hesitated.

"We are? Right?" Marge looked at the others.

"Uh... yes..." Homer and Lisa both hesitated.

* * *

><p>ACT III started, and The Simpsons sat down to see the next scene.<p>

"Oh my god." Lisa read a pamphlet of the play. "The next scene shows Tom Hanks _acting as_ Hank Scorpio."

"Huh... you know... I've notice that they sound _similar_. It's almost as if Hank Scorpio really was played by Tom Hanks..." Homer said.

"Hey look. It's starting." Marge said.

* * *

><p>"HA HA HA HA!" An Mad Hank Scorpio played by Tom Hanks stood on top of a dozens and dozens of dead bodies, which appears to be sand bags, held a flamethrower in his two hands.<p>

"Huh... You know Tom Hanks looks exactly like Hank Scorpio with the beard and orange hair props..." Lisa commented.

"It's almost as if their the _same person_..." Homer said.

As Acting Scorpio laughed like the mad man he was, Acting Homer came by.

"No one can stop me!" Hank Scorpio smiled. "No one can ever stop me! Not the armies, or the governments, or the..."

"Do you have any _sugar_?" Acting Homer interrupted.

"Oh sure." Acting Scorpio calmed down.

He reached deep into his pants pockets and pulled out a pound of sugar from both.

"Sorry their not in packages." Acting Scorpio said.

"Meh, that's alright." Acting Homer said.

As Acting Homer left the stage, Scorpio _went on_ to say, "No One Can Stop me! HA HA HA!"

* * *

><p>The Audience wiped off their tears of the next scene, everyone but Mr. Burns who found this scene infuriating. On the stage, an elderly woman playing as Mona Simpson stood near an old 60's bus made of cardboard in a desert background as Acting Homer Simpson stood their, watching his mother to leave.<p>

"I'll always love you Homer." Acting Mona Simpson said. Just as she was about to enter the bus, she hit her head on the top-edge of the door and yelled, "D'OH!".

Southern Accent Homer watched Acting Mona looked back at him one more time entered the bus filled with actors playing as hippies. The door closed as both Acting Homer and the real Homer watched. The bus moved off to the left as Homer remembered his mother.

Homer in the audience, blew his nose, saying, "Good... Good Memories...", with a tear of joy in his eye.

* * *

><p>The Simpsons were now watching the latest scene on the play as Lisa looked at the pamphlet.<p>

"Oh my god. This scene is based on the most detailed and suspenseful mystery that Springfield has ever met. It's the last scene too." Lisa said.

"What scene is it Lisa?" Marge asked.

"Who Shot Mr. Burns." Lisa answered.

The audience watched, still having the frightful memories of who shot the person everyone hated. All the actors playing many of the well-known Springfieldians stood there, even Maude or Ms. Glick who died after this incident stood their played by other actors. The scene showed Mr. Burns on the Sun Pedestal.

"Someone shot Mr. Burns." Acting Hibbert pointed at the motionless body.

"Everyone's a Suspect." Acting Hindu Lisa.

Suddenly every actor started moving their eyes back and forth to different people, suspiciously... reminding the audience how dreadfully scary it was for them as anyone could've been the culprit, or framed at least, as they each had an intent of shooting Mr. Burns.

* * *

><p>In the next, and final scene, every actor playing a Springfieldian stood in the hospital room of Acting Burns.<p>

"Yes, that's right. It was the baby who shot me." Mr. Burns smiled.

"Good god? It was the _baby_? I would've never seen that coming!" Chief Wiggum dropped his popcorn in shock.

"Uh...duh. You were there." Lisa said.

"Really? I could've sworn it was Waylon Smither's." Wiggum said.

"Would've made more sense..." Lisa sighed.

Back to the play, Acting Burns explained how exactly he was shot, all starting with the intentions to steal candy from a baby.

"And that's what happened. My gun fell unto her hands and 'bang!', I was shot!" Acting Burns said.

"Another mystery solved." Acting Lisa spoke.

The red curtains suddenly appeared until they meeted each other, soon the cast of Actors and the hospital room was hidden behind those curtains, the audience clapped wildly in the air, smiling.

"Woo! Great play!" Carl said.

"I give it a 2/4. The best rating _I've ever giving_." Comic Book Guy sighed.

"Death To Maggie!" Mr. Burns shaked his fist in furious rage

Suddenly Maggie angrily glared to Burns as the sounds of _a gunshot echoed through both their thoughts_, his once rage dispersed into fear, as he cowardly sat down saying, "I mean. Long Live Maggie! Heh Heh... Yes."

"Ladies and Gentlemen. " The Announcer spoke throughout the audience room. Dashing lights quickly illuminated to the front of the stage as he said, "You will finally get to see. The director of this play!"

A Man smiling in confidence stepped out from the curtains. The whole audience gasped in shock to see who the director was. He was slightly short, his hair frizzy, wore expensive glasses, and once own a billion dollar company. The man that everyone gasped at sight, was none other than _Artie Ziff_.

"Hello Springfield!" Artie smiled and said, "And A special hello to you.", giving a tiger growl to Marge Simpson who only crossed her hands in disgust as a response.

"I can't believe I considered him to the prom." Marge spoked to herself.

"Who are you and what have you done with the actors!" Homer pointed at him.

"You don't recognize me? I'm Artie Ziff." Artie said.

"Artie Ziff? Artie Ziff?" Homer had no clue.

"I had a crush on your wife?" Artie tried to reminded him.

"Artie Ziff? Artie Ziff?" Homer still couldn't remember.

"I one time stole a kiss from Marjorie at a reenactment of a Prom?" Artie Ziff said.

"Artie Ziff? Artie Ziff?" Homer didn't recognized the guy one bit.

"I had you arrested."

"Artie Ziff? Artie Ziff?"

"I called you an ignoramus and..."

"_That means I'm stupid? Doesn't it! Your the ignor_... Wait? Artie Ziff!" Homer was shocked to see him.

"Sigh... Yes..." Artie said.

"Shouldn't you be at the prison?" Homer said.

"I already paid off my time at prison, Homer, and now I'm back baby. I had to get some money quick, so I was desperate for any job, even jobs I wish I never go back such as a sewer maintenance job, manure salesman, president of the Tea Party. Ugh... But I find myself jealous of you, Homer. You have a great family and a great house."

"It's not that good." Homer said.

"Oh come on. I've seen you met all sorts of celebrities such as Mel Gibson, or Buzz Aldrin, or what about Darrell Strawberry? Huh?" Artie said.

"Well... you do have to admit... we _have met a lot of famous people for a middle-class family_." Lisa said.

"It's not just that. You have extraordinary adventures, you went to different places besides the States of America. Homer _has even traveled in space_." Artie said.

"That is... _quite a lot_ for a middle-class family..." Marge, even had to admit this one.

"Well anyway, as I was saying... after that, I decided to make a play about Springfield and it's many unexpected adventures and catastrophe's it's had which than later everyone seems to just forget about it the next day as a new adventure takes place. For the main characters, I chose The Simpsons, the closes people I could ever call friend."

"I thought we were nemesis." Homer was confused.

"Uh...yeah.. Anyway, and so you can guess. I made this play and it's a smashing success." Artie smiled.

"I don't know... there were many good scenes, especially the family moments... but you made us look like complete savages in some scenes." Lisa argued.

"I'm sorry Lisa. I'm really am. I thought it could use a little humor and everyone seemed happy as they watched the play." Artie said.

"Yeah... I guess." Lisa wasn't sure if that was a good thing.

"Hey everyone!" Artie yelled to the audience. "Everyone give a big clap to The Simpsons! They made this play filled with the nuttiest adventures possible!"

Suddenly every Springfieldian rose up from their seats and clapped repeatedly, smiling, while others greeted and gave handshakes to them. The Simpsons were surrounded by their own neighbors, friends, even people they never met basically.

"This isn't so bad." Bart smiled.

"Huh. I could get used to this." Lisa smiled.

"Yeah... I don't feel stressful anymore." Marge smiled.

Maggie squeaked her pacifier three times, smiling, clapping her hands as well.

"Hey uh... Where's your father?" Marge asked, noticing that he's not here.

"Hey everyone! Party at Flanders's House!" Homer stood up on the stage.

Ned Flander stood in and said, "I didn't agree to a..."

Everyone began rushing to the exits saying, "WOOH! PARTAY!"

"Here we go again." Marge, Bart, and Lisa said, smiling, as another crazy adventure would soon start again.

* * *

><p>(This is the Tenth Story of Simpsons Springfield Tales Season 2. I hope you enjoyed it and would be nice if you send a review.<p>

Also, if you want, vote on the Mr. Nental DEAD OR ALIVE Poll to decide his fate and the flow of the story from Springfield Tales to the new fanfiction soon, Springfield Growing Up, a story set four years into the future where you explore the lives of kids from middle school to adults during their aging adulthood, or the beginning of testing out mutations or technology for the near-future, explore the story origins or references of how people became what they were in the Simpsons Future Episodes.)


	12. Sideshow Bob Is Back

Opening Gag - Abe Simpson flies in the Wright Brother's Plane

Couch Gag - The Simpsons run to the couch as Stamp's with their faces on.

Ep - 61 - S02E11 Date - July 10 2012

**Sideshow Bob Is Back** Synopsis - Bart gets kidnapped by Bob... but this time... Bob has his own good reason to get Bart Simpson that for once isn't revenge...

* * *

><p>Night time loomed over the Springfield General Hospital. Dr. Hibbert whistled as the sound of his keys clicked in, locking the door to his office. He was in the hallways smiling ready to go spend quality time with his family and enjoy a nice Cuban Cigar.<p>

"Yep. I think I've finish my work for the night. Two days before July the 4th." Dr. Hibbert smiled.

Just as Dr. Hibbert walked down the hallway, he passed by a particular room.

"Hello? _Doctor_? Is the _open heart surgery_ over yet?" Jasper, strapped to a table, spoke confusedly with stitch marks on his chest. "Uh-oh. I think my heart stopped beating… Oh wait. Their it goes."

The man continued to walk down the hallway until he stopped, hearing a voice that hasn't been heard for some time.

"Hello Hibbert. One of my enemies of Springfield." A Voice resembling the poets of England, spoke at the end of the hall.

"An enemy? Carle Mandez. I thought our _drug-dealing days_ were over!" Dr. Hibbert argued.

"What?" Sideshow Bob stepped out from the shadows

"Robert Twerlliger! How did you got past the toughest security… from _budget-cuts_." Hibbert angrily said.

"Yes. Budget-Cuts from a declining economy. Your guards were nothing but elderly folk who yelled at teens skateboarding across the alleyway as I just happened to waltz right in."

"Damn those budget-cuts. But still… what are you going to do?" Dr. Hibbert smirked.

"Oh. Will this do?" Bob aimed his .45 Magnum at Hibbert straight from his left pocket, smiling like the fiend he is.

Sideshow Bob, having the upper advantage, stepped forward with a grin on his face … SMACK! A Rake came slamming into his face once again. Bob stepped back with an angry "Ugh".

"Seriously now. A rake just lying around in the middle of a hospital. Especially due to budget cuts! It's like these cursed rakes follow me wherever I go." Bob took his anger out on the rake. "Now, where were we?"

Bob didn't like the rake, a powerful foe it was, nevertheless, aiming his revolver to Hibbert, Jasper stepped in the situation.

"Hey. I was looking for you doc. I was yelling your name and what's happening… right now? You better put that gun down you talking pineapple" Jasper, even more confused, noticed Bob and the revolver.

"Stand next to Hibbert." Bob sighed, pointing his gun at Jasper now.

Jasper did as what he was told, wondering what would happen next. Bob's heart beated repeatedly of the sound of crime. Hibbert's heart beated repeatedly of the sound of fear. Jasper's heart was… was…

"_Huh. I don't hear a Heartbeat at all and… Wait a minute_." Jasper's Brain was talking. "_This isn't my heart in my chest. This is my brain. If my brain is my heart… than my brain must be…_"

The beating pulsing sound emerged from Jasper's forehead as he still was clueless as ever. Sideshow Bob on the other hand had enough of this mockery.

"Stop stalling! I don't need you old man." Sideshow Bob yelled. "But you Hibbert. You're very important to me."

"You're kidnapping me?" Dr. Hibbert confused of Bob's fiendish plot.

"Yes… I'll kidnap you. _Kidnap you for GOOD_!" Bob grinned, until he though back to his statement. "Wait a minute… Kidnap for good? That's not good. AH! I got it! Okay. Hibbert. You say, 'You're kidnapping me?' again, and I'll say…"

"Nope." Dr. Hibbert crossed his arms.

"Fine. Time for the thin ice to break…" Sideshow Bob responded with a mean look in his eye.

The man walked forward to Hibbert, stepping back he did, gazing at Bob's mean eyes.

"_AHHH!" _screamed throughout the night sky.

* * *

><p>The Simpsons, everyone but Lisa, stepped into the house's front door exhausted as ever.<p>

"Man… we just had to visit the Octuplets Goldilocks play." Bart sighed in disappointment.

"Hey. We promised Apu and Manjula we be there. Just be glad it's over." Marge said.

"I can't stand another of that play. Though, I always wondered how I would look with Goldilocks' hair." Homer said.

In a glimpse of Homer's imaginative mind…

"Behold citizens of Springfield!" Homer waved his _golden blonde hair_ at the people who gasped in shock.

"Let us gaze UPON his hair everyone!" Sideshow Mel pointed out.

Homer was just standing their cool as everyone gazed at it. Suddenly out of nowhere… three bears stepped in and Homer suddenly lost his cool.

"AHH! _Homer and The Three Bears_!" Homer was shocked.

Back to reality…

"A Man could dream… a Man could dream…" Homer stared and thought in disappointment at his round shiny head .

"Homer! Look!" Marge, with a worried look on her face, grabbed Homer's attention.

"What! What! Did someone take the food!" Homer yelled.

"What? No. Someone wrote a message on our wall!" She said.

Pointing to the wall at giant words painted in red, "DIE BART! DIE!", The Simpsons didn't like this one bit.

Bart gulped, "Oh no. My enemy Sideshow Bob returned!"

"Hey everyone!" Lisa ran into the house with a newspaper in her hand.

"What is it?" Homer turned his head to his intellectual but still childish daughter.

"Dr. Hibbert kidnapped. Rake as _Witness of Crime_." Lisa revealed the headlines to the family. "The rake will _testify at court _as soon as they get Bob."

"Let me see that!" Homer swiped the newspaper from Lisa's hands. "Oh my god! Jasper has a heart for a brain… and a brain for a heart! What will scientists think next?"

"Dad! Don't you remember who Sideshow Bob is?" Bart asked.

"Bob?… Bob?…" Homer hoped he won't be embarrassed of not knowing who Bob is. "Uh… _Bob's Burgers_?"

"What?" Lisa sighed, can't believe that he still doesn't remember the name. "No… Krusty was framed by a crime last year by Bob. He tried to murder Aunt Selma, than Bart at Terror Lake… Later he tried to run for mayor only to cheat the election! He then attempted to murder Bart again after solving the case of Frank Grimes Jr. Than he moved into Europe with a family and now a group of them are trying to kill us! Now he's back!"

"Oh that Bob" Homer remembered. Smiling he said "_How's he doing_?"

"Homer! This is serious!" A Serious Marge replied.

"Your right honey! Let's get the police… right after the funnies!" Homer smiled back at the newspaper comics. "Hee hee. _Charlie Brown_ you always get fooled by the football trick."

* * *

><p>In the town of Springfield existed the Police Department Building the best there is… in the budget, their Clancy Wiggum was discussing the protection of Bart Simpson with The Simpsons, worried of Bob's return, at his office.<p>

"Don't worry Simpsons." Clancy Wiggum was sure of himself. "Will protect your boy Mrs. Simpson. Only it won't fail like _the last seven times Bob successfully kidnapped Bart_."

"Uh chief" Lou stepped into his office alongside Eddie. "Due to the economy, we had to do some _major cutbacks_ in weaponry, interrogation rooms, police cars, and especially most of all protection of the people… like Bart Simpson."

"Is that it?" Chief felt really ashamed of this, especially what he just said about protection.

"We can't even use the Bad Cop Good Cop routine anymore." Eddie replied.

"Aw man. Looks like this will be the eighth time Bob will successfully kidnapped Bart by the looks of this." Chief Wiggum said. Smiling, "Well Good luck."

Marge was a bit bitter of this. "You know… you policemen used to do good quality work around here. Even you Chief Wiggum. Now you're the most corrupt police force I ever seen."

"You know! This corrupt policeman could arrest you right now because that really hurt my feelings!" Wiggum whined angrily.

"You know… you have the spitting image of _the Evergreen Terrace Arsonist_." Homer responded back.

"I'll be quiet now." Wiggum looked down to his desk.

* * *

><p>At nighttime, Homer tucked the kids, all three of them into Bart's bedroom.<p>

"Oh! Why do we have to sleep next to Bart!" Lisa argued.

Maggie crossed her arms angry.

"Why do I have to share!" Bart didn't like this one bit.

"One. Lisa is a girl, so if Bob comes in, her scream will be real loud. Plus, Maggie is _armed _with a gun." Homer smiled, hoping this will stop Bob.

"What was that?" Marge stepped in. "Did I heard something about a gun?"

"Uh… no…" Homer lied, but his shaked up voice couldn't hide it from a wife who knows almost everything about her family.

"Hrmm…" Marge went over to the bed, finding a pistol in the baby's little hands.

"Homer! You shouldn't give firearms to a two year old! It's illegal in the states… except probably Texas." Marge angrily sighed.

"Fine… Let's just go to bed." Homer said, mumbling angry on the way out.

As the two left, it was quiet all of a sudden… that instance, the closet opened and out came Sideshow Bob with a grin on his face.

"Hello children." Bob grinned.

"AHHH! SIDESHOW BOB!" Bart and Lisa screamed.

"DAAAAAAADDDDD!" Lisa screamed as loud as she can.

"_QUIET_! YOU DAMN KIDS! WERE TRYING TO SLEEP!" Homer yelled from another room.

* * *

><p>The sound of a vase into many pieces again woke up Homer and Marge.<p>

"Those damn kids. I told them to be quiet right after Lisa screamed…"

"Wait a minute." Both Homer and Marge spoke. Looking into each other's eyes, gasping "LISA _SCREAMED_! THEIR IN TROUBLE!"

The two dashed through the hallway and into Bart's room, seeing a whole mess recently happened.

"Oh my god! The kids are gone!" Marge felt her blood rushing faster than ever.

"Oh no_! Stupid Flanders House _is on fire!" Homer pointed through the window, at a bright burning house.

* * *

><p>The two parents stepped out and headed to a crowd of neighbors, and especially Ned.<p>

"Oh god! Is my house on fire a sign almighty? Or are you punishing me for my Beatles collection?" Ned looked up to the sky, hoping that God would answer some way.

"This must be sideshow Bob's doing." Homer said.

"_Uh yes_… Sideshow Bob." Chief Wiggum suspiciously holding a lighter in his hand.

"Chief Wiggum! We need you now!" Marge yelled.

"Why should I help you?" Wiggum felt he had no need to help out The Simpsons who recently called him corrupt.

"Hey." Ned walked over. "You kind of look like the _Evergreen Terrace Arsoni_…"

"You know what. I'll help you on your Bob hunt." Wiggum interrupted Ned. "Let's just get over there.!"

"Wait but!" Ned tried to speak, but Wiggum, rushed Homer and Marge quickly in a hurry.

* * *

><p>Bart woke up, feeling like he just got hit by something, seeing what look like some kind of warehouse… Lisa and Maggie woke up too, yawning afterwards<p>

"What the…?" Bart saw even spotted crates and cargos stacked up in a building of wood.

He looked around wondering what was going on. He spotted Dr. Hibbert next to what appears to be Sideshow Bob's wife, Francisca, lying sick in bed next to Life-Support Equipment.

"What's going on here?" Bart was confused.

"Hello Bart…" Sideshow Bob spoke "Bart" in a sinister manner. "My wife has kidneytitus."

"The fatal disease caused by the explosion of two kidneys! What happened?" Lisa asked.

"She tried to hold it in during a long line _at the DMV_ for four straight days… than wait in a long line to exit the DMV" Bob said.

"Well she can't just be here next to a doctor! She has to go to an actual hospital!"

"Please. The same hospital that said there's no cure. All I know is that she will live longer with a good kidney and that I won't go to jail at this time." Bob said.

"Well… what do you need us for?" Bart still wondered what Bob's plot was.

"I just need Lisa and Maggie here because I know they manage to find my exact location over and over again. But you!" Pointing to Bart Simpson " Bartholomew Simpson… your blood type is Double O Negative!… the same blood type as my wife!" Bob smiled in a wicked manner.

"_Not lefty and righty_!" Bart cried.

"You actually name your kidney? No matter… let's get this started." Bob pulled out his trusty knife.

* * *

><p>Homer and Marge, along with the police, were investigating the crime scene. There were only three men from the police force investigating but the room was a small room for kids, so there was no need for more policeman at the crime scene.<p>

"Oh my god! Oh my god!" A excited Homer couldn't wait to tell them what he found near the bed.

"What? What?" Marge, Wiggum, and his two partners in law, Eddie and Lou.

"I found an old _Oreo_ under the bed." Homer said.

"Hrmm…" Marge mumbled.

"Hold it! Give me that." Wiggum swiped it away from Homer.

He threw it in his mouth, chewed it and said, "Good God! It's an _1898_ Oreo! Back then when they tossed _cocaine in_ instead of that rich creamy flavor they have today. Good thing it's worn off and very little of it."

"Really?" Homer said.

Marge stood in-between the conversation angry and worried at the same time, "While you two were off testing out an old Oreo."

"An 1898 Oreo, mam!" Wiggum corrected her.

"Whatever. I found this clue." Marge held out an dusty "Oyster Dog" napkin.

"Oyster dog?" Eddie said. "Ever heard of it Lou?"

"Isn't that the old fish restaurant that went out of business after actually _mixing Oyster's and Dog_. Hell… it even made a traditional Asian Family throw up." Lou replied.

"Yep. Everyone thought it was just a name of a restaurant until they found out what they were eating. Kind of like _the Pet and Meat Store_ across the street from here." Wiggum smiled.

"Well… only one place would have abandoned napkins. Warehouse 38 at Springfield's Squid Port." Marge said.

"Oh… do we have to go there?" Homer whined.

"It's for the sake of the children! And plus… we can get some fried fish along the way, Homer. Homer?" She noticed that he was gone all of a sudden.

Marge looked and looked, wondering where Homer has gone to. Then she heard the honking noise of a car. She looked out of the window, along with Chief Wiggum, Lou, and Eddie, spotting Homer already buckled up at the wheel of a started car.

"Come on! _The fish_… I mean the kid's need us!" Homer yelled through the driver's window.

* * *

><p>Lisa and Maggie were tied to the chairs, spotting Bart Simpson, afraid as usual in a Bob-Planned Plot, strapped onto the table as Dr. Hibbert held a saw in his hands. All he could see was the doctor at the left, Sideshow Bob's sick Wife upon the bed beside him, and then the wooden ceiling above him.<p>

"You're not really going to take out my kidney are you?" Bart asked.

"Yeah! Why would you do such a thing!" Lisa yelled.

"Sorry Bart. The guy has a gun!" Hibbert simply explained.

"But he never actually killed anyone! What makes you think now?"

"Sorry, but what else can I do?" Hibbert asked.

"Will you stop blabbering!" Sideshow Bob felt a fit of rage igniting through the course of his mind. "Do the operation, doctor!"

Hibbert gulped feeling worried and fear as he sweated over the operation. He gripped the saw but halted for a moment.

"What's wrong? Don't you know how surgery works?" Bob lost his patience.

"I just can't! He's a child for pity sake."

"Fine. I'll do it by myself, I knew a little thing about medicine and surgery, and especially how knives work. I don't need a useless doctor!" Bob aimed his .45 Magnum towards Hibbert.

Hibbert ducked, just as the trigger was pressed by finger. The bullet came fast, and shot, not Hibbert… but a inflammable gas tank past Francisca's bed.

"Heh heh." Hibbert chuckle.

"Oh really now!" Bob didn't like that behavior one bit.

"Sorry_. Force of habit_. That thing is going to blow!" Hibbert yelled.

Immediately the gas tank did blow up leaving sparks and drops of fire onto the floor. The fire spreaded upon the wooden floor as Lisa squeaked, "EEP!"

* * *

><p>Flames everywhere in the warehouse burned the supply of oxygen. Bart, Lisa, who carried Maggie, Dr. Hibbert, and Sideshow Bob carrying an unconscious sick Francisca by the shoulder, quickly hurried through the searing flames of a hallway.<p>

"Quick! To the stairs!" Bob pointed to a door with the words, "STAIRS" printed on it.

The group took a step forward, but immediately the wooden ceiling above collapsed upon the door, covering it up for good.

"Isn't their another way out?" Lisa asked.

"Theirs the elevator that leads to the upper warehouse on deck." Bob pointed to a large elevator.

"An elevator? During a fire! That's even more dangerous!" Bart complained.

"The stairs are covered up, so we have no choice but to take it." Hibbert sweated.

"I'll make sure it's safe. Hibbert, carry my wife for me." Bob said.

"Why should I? You could've left us dead during the fire!" Hibbert complained.

"Yeah!" Bart Simpson notice that he hadn't done a thing. "You really could have left us at the fire!"

"Oh please. Is this really the time?" Bob said. "Here! I can't check to see if it's safe if with you stalling."

"Fine." Hibbert placed the unconscious wife of Robert Twerlliger unto his shoulder.

Bob walked three steps further to the elevator until… SLAM! _A rake smacked_ him in the face.

"Errrggg… It's safe!" Sideshow Bob grunted and then yelled at the rest.

Bob stood to one side saying, "Come on! Come on!" as Bart, Lisa who carried Maggie and Hibbert who carried Francisca hurried to the elevator as the fire spread further and further. One by one, they stepped into the elevator; all that was left was Bob.

"Come on Bob!" Bart said.

"Yes. Yes. Mustn't hurr…"

The ceiling collapsed again this time, upon Bob. Slammed to the floor by burning pieces of heavy wood, he still remained conscious, with only half of his upper body showing, but the flame spread continue, his clothes weren't burned but he was losing oxygen.  
>"Come on! Grab onto my hand!" Bart said.<p>

"Please…'COUGH'… why would any of you care but my unconscious wife?" Bob angrily shrieked at them.

"You're still a human! Now let's just pull you out of their!" Bart yelled.

"No! It wouldn't be enough time… the fire is burning… 'COUGH'… the supply of oxygen at rapid numbers as we speak! Go!" He yelled. With his final bitter but sorrowful words… "This world wouldn't miss me anyway…"

"Wait but!…"

Bart tried to speak, but the ceiling collapsed again, this time, a large chunk of it crashed to the ground covering up Bob completely. No more they could see him, and only they responded with shock and gasp.

"No!" Bart yelled, taking a step forward.

"We can't do anything Bart! Now let's go!" Lisa grabbed unto his arm before he could do anything.

She pulled Bart in and Hibbert slammed his fist upon the buttons. The elevator's doors shut close and the sound of it reeling upwards, away from the fire, gave somewhat relief, though shocked that Bart's mortal enemy… Bob is finally dead… but Bart didn't felt happy at all he had another emotion, an odd one actually.

* * *

><p>Police Car's everywhere surrounded the Warehouse at one of the Squid Port's pier, a three story building with two bottom floors as well. Homer and Marge quickly stepped out of the Family Sedan as they spotted smoke rising from the building. That and they saw flames slowly spreading from the doorway.<p>

"Oh my god! Is it on fire! I'm real worried about the kids, Homer!" Marge couldn't take the suspense.

"Oh my god! What's going to happen to them?" Homer was real worried as well, stuffing his mouth with fried fish sticks from a bucket.

Chief Wiggum, along with Eddie and Lou, came and said, "Don't worry Mrs. Simpson. Your kids aren't being burned alive. Their pretty much alive, why Bob, who uses a knife most of the time, _probably just cut off your boy's ear_. That isn't so…"

"OH MY GOD!" Homer and Marge couldn't bear the thought.

"Man… I am not good at this. Hey Eddie. Comfort the parents, while we find those _three bodies_." Chief Wiggum said.

"But you said they were _alive_!" Homer, still shocked and frightened.

"Don't worry Mr. and Mrs. Simpson." Eddie interrupted.

"I'm pretty sure their alive. "Lou smiled, hoping to comfort the two scared parents. "We will do everything in our power to find your son's _missing ear_."

Suddenly Marge fell to the ground surprised, worried, and unconscious at the same time.

"You really are the worst cops ever." Homer complained.

"Look! Everyone!" Chief Wiggum pointed a group of shadowy people coming through the doorway.

They all gasped, as Bart, Lisa who carried Maggie, and Dr. Hibbert who carried Francisca, stepped out in one peace.

"Their alive!" Homer continued to stuff himself with fried fish sticks from a bucket.

The four out of five of them looked tired as ever, gasping for clean oxygen, as Francisca was still unconscious. Homer and Clancy Wiggum stepped forward, wondering in confusion of what happened.

"Hey? This is weird. I see Sideshow Bob's Unconscious Wife… Dr. Hibbert who recently just got kidnapped… Where's Bob? What's going on here?" Chief Wiggum asked, wondering how this is all connected.

"Sideshow Bob needed a donor for her wife to live longer, that's why he needed Hibbert until he decided not to cooperate with his plan. Later, the place was set on fire, and Bob, for reasons unknown, lead us to the elevator, and here we are safe as usual." Lisa explained.

"Wait? He started this situation and saved you from it, is basically what you're saying?" Homer found it confusing.

"Yep. Pretty much it." Hibbert said. "I have to take this woman to a hospital.

"We'll take care of that." Two Paramedics said.

The two Paramedics proceed to carrying the sick wife to an Ambulance as the family and people watched.

"Where's mom?" Bart asked, noticing that she's not beside Homer.

"Right over their sleeping like an angel." Homer revealed his unconscious Wife lying on the pier.

"Oh… you know that I kind of think of it… I actually feel sorry for Bob." Bart said.

"You what!" Chief Wiggum could not believe this.

"I don't really find that surprising either." Said Lisa. "Think about it. Bob's villainous ways were sparked by Bart who revealed who he was, but in truth the path to being a criminal started with Springfield. For years Springfield has made fun of, laughed, and sometimes even trampled Sideshow Bob. He never liked his life being a mockery for people's enjoyment."

"Yeah… well there's no way he could've survived that fire." Hibbert said.

"So… he's really dead?" Bart asked again.

"Yep. Definitely. No way could he've escaped such a dangerous environment." Hibbert said.

"He's probably out there right now…" Homer replied.

Suddenly Lisa gasped in shock.

"What now?" Homer said.

"Tomorrow is the Fourth of July! How could we forget even after what just happened!" Lisa said.

"Really? I just realized that! We better get home!" Homer said.

* * *

><p>THE ROCKIES… 4th OF JULY…<p>

A Stranger walking on two's, tired and restlessly, with burn scarred marks all over his back, slowly walked through the tall snowy pathway, even in summer, spotting a warehouse nearby. There was a window, a TV, and two men, one wearing a Red Scarf and the other with a Blue Hat, reading a newspaper.

"Hmm… let's see what's on the headlines today, all the way from Springfield." The Blue Hated Man Read. "Let's see, Kids saved by Local Maniac… Not By Fish-Reeked Father… Evergreen Terrace Arsonist still on loose."

"Hey! Just watch the damn TV. The Springfield News on TV is much better than your Springfield Newspaper. Hell, everything we own is from Springfield, our hometown. Let's hear what the anchorman has to say." The Man with a scarf replied.

The Man with a scarf turned the volume up, two of them not knowing that a stranger was watching as well.

"And so." Kent Brockman said, on the screen, as fireworks everywhere blew through the sky in different colors and shapes. "It's a happy 4th of July, celebrating our Nation's Independence… soon Canada, New Zealand, and Australia will have their holidays of independence up and ready later on, but let's enjoy these fireworks. Also, another story, local Maniac's Wife… cured actually at the Springfield General Hospital. Kidneytitus she had, very fatal, but was proven to be cured as of now and…"

The Stranger walked away, smiling, with tears in his eyes. After all these long miserable years, he felt happy to see someone close is alive and well. It was Sideshow Bob, you probably already knew it, he wore burnt short pants and a burnt T-Shirt for the snowy Rockies… but it didn't stop him from his destiny.

He walked even further as the gentle snow started blew across the wind harsher each second. A blizzard is soon become, as Bob walked further, disappearing into the coldest of winds… with a smile… not a crazy one… but a real one…


End file.
